Customer Reviews

Loving Homosexuals as Jesus Would: A Fresh Christian Approach

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There are two strong and loud voices surrounding this issue of same-sex attraction. On the far right, there is the voice that cries "you must change!" On the far left, there is the voice that cries "you must not change!" The person in the midst of working through their same sex attraction are then confronted with only these two choices and strong inflexibility from one group or the other depending on how they ultimately choose. Chad's voice is one of sanity. It acknowledges that some people leave behind their same-sex attraction and others don't. While we may have opinions as to what someone else should do, we really have to accept the person even if we choose the path we don't agree with. Whether they seek to embrace the Gay identity or seek to turn away from it, it is their decision and we need to accept them where they are at. Anything else is not loving the person and is political self-serving. Folks who are tied to a political ideology surrounding this issue on one side or the other will probably hate this book because it doesn't give the affirmation of "we are right and the world should think like us." Rather, it teaches us to do just what the title says - allow the homosexual to explore possible options and love and accept them regardless of the path they choose.

In today's search for balancing God's grace with God's truth Chad is surely exposing the problems with today's views of homosexuality and serves up God's truth to the Christian community while sending messages of God's Grace to the homosexual community. As a part of The Body and Family of Christ our ability to accept the truth is what binds us together is ties of holy brotherhood and sisterhood. The knowledge that this truth is being given out of pure love and adoration within the Christian sphere is what makes Chad's message to the Christian community powerful and effective. His message to the homosexual community exposing God's grace is analogous to the instructions to become all things to all people as loving the non Christian world means showing them first what they need to hear, God's grace.

In the days of Jesus, the blind were made to see, the lepers were cured, and the lame began to walk. Today, we look all to often at the Nature vs. Nurture question to explain alcoholism, sexuality, and other sins that may be interlinked with our genetic makeup. In doing so we forget the about the healing power of God. The reality is that through prayer and dedication all things are possible with God and this book is a great reminder as Chad shares his personal story about his God assisted transformation from homosexuality to heterosexuality.

This book taught me things I did not know at all.

I did not know or had never heard of ex-gay until I read this book. The author calls a person who wants to be heterosexual, a "struggler." I like that name. The book, however, is written realistically. It states that the change from gay to ex-gay is harder if the struggler has already engaged in actual sexual activities instead of mere thoughts.

I did not know that pre-gay had a hard time being accepted by LGBT public. I also did not know that "homosexual gene" was an unconfirmed statement. I did not know that it was possible for a gay to become a ex-gay. I did not know that there are a group of people who believe that most homosexual feelings are strongly related to the relationships with caretakers while growing up.

I appreciate the way the author expect those who do not want to change the way they are and accept them the way they are instead of trying to convince them to become ex-gay.

Though I know of the teaching of Christ, I do not call myself a Christian. With that being said, the book was still informative to me. If I were to be a Christian I would have been able to relate to the religious content of the book, but I did my best to understand it. The focus of this book is not to convince something. The focus of this book is unconditional love and useful support in case someone wants to come out of homosexual feelings and also information to those who do not want to change so they can understand what ex-gay is all about.

I am heterosexual, but I enjoyed this book, leaning things I did not know. Though the author is very religious, I did not feel the pushiness I often feel from other books by religious authors. I recommend this book to anyone with any sexual orientation, any religious background, and any vocation.

[...] This book is absolutely NOT about science. The book completely ignores or dismisses a number of studies that have been done by Christian and secular therapists, most of them straight, who have shown that most homosexuals are happy, and that many are very capable, in spite of society's inability, still, to fully accept them, to form lasting and loving relationships. This book also doesn't mention the number of studies done very recently that show that the children of homosexuals grow up no better OR worse than those of heterosexual couples - although I think it's important to mention these things. This book IS about a sect of Christianity that truly believes it is immoral, not to be gay mind you, but for homosexuals to seek romantic love with each other. This idea of immorality is the mindset that Doctors Nicolosi and Socarides (a co-founder of NARTH who has a gay son) start with when they perform their research, and this is the mindset of almost all who are involved with the Ex-Gay movement.

In this book Chad uses a list of numbers and percentages in an effort to show that most gay men have problems in their relationships with their fathers. One problem here, if you look close enough, is that he offers no comparable numbers for straight men. The most glaring error with this conclusion however, is that nowhere in this list of numbers are we told exactly WHEN the gay men developed these poor relationships with their fathers. This is important, because most therapists agree that sexual orientation is set in the very early years of life, some say by the age of 3. HOWEVER, most gay men don't develop poor relationships with their fathers until much later in life - in their teens or even later. These kinds of things happen frequently in Chad's book though. He appears so eager to spread his message of change, that the search for Truth gets lost in the process.

The only real disturbing thing about Chad's message/book, is that he maintains change is open to *anyone* who wants it. This statement however flies in the face of all available evidence from mainstream psychologists AND NARTH. The success rate for Reparative Therapy varies anywhere from 20% - 70%, depending on who you talk to. Some recent evidence suggests that the success rate is well below 40%. This means that a vast majority of individuals who seek this type of therapy, and who I assume really want to change, are NOT able to. This has also led to the Ex-Ex Gay movement, which is interesting in its own right. The advocates of Reparative Therapy see these failures and put the blame on the patient, saying that they just didn't try hard enough - which seems really sad to me.

Most psychologists worth their salt would admit that they don't fully understand sexuality yet. Scientists are pretty sure, as Chad says, that it is formed by a combination of genes and environmental factors: this applies to hetero- as well as homo-sexual orientations. The difference between all mainstream doctors and therapists and those who belong to NARTH, is that NARTH claims it DOES know the reason for homosexuality - or rather REASONS - and Chad's book gives us a laundry list of those things that NARTH's proponents claim cause homosexuality - none of which are backed up by peer studies. I will never go so far as to claim that Chad hasn't changed - I believe at the very least that he believes he has changed - the mind is a very powerful thing when we want something badly enough. Another aspect of sexual orientation that is not discussed in this book, is that orientations seem to be more fluid than they are static - some people lead straight lives for awhile then realize they are really gay, or at least they are more attracted to men than women. This happens in reverse as well. Some men begin dating other men, and find out later in life that they are really more attracted to the opposite sex. All of this can and does happen without prayer or the intervention of a few Christian therapists and evangelists with a political/moral agenda to push - not that Chad has a political agenda - I think his message is well-intentioned and free of politics - BUT, the people who frequently sponsor Chad and the rest of the Ex-Gay movement, DO have a political agenda, and they are serious and determined to undermine gay people and their search for equal rights.

Chad's overview of the APA's 1973 decision to remove homosexuality from the list of psychological diseases is far too simplistic, and doesn't take into account a number of things going on at the time like the very anti-gay atmosphere that existed in the group, or the fact that it took the group a full year of discussing the issue before it was pulled from the DSM.

I would like to write more but I only hope that people will appreciate and respect Chad's message, but not take everything he has to say as "gospel".

It's weird to read a book and hear complex issues described so simply and profoundly, but that's the case with Thompson's new book confronting homosexuality. This is a quick read and is one that shouldn't be easily dismissed. There's so much good stuff in this book pertaining to relationships and the need for men (and women) to be in good relationships with their own sexes, and the consequences (some of them anyways) that can come from a lack of these human-to-human same-sex friendships, that this idea alone to discover makes the price of the book well worth it.Even though Thompson often sidesteps "but what if" questions a little easily, I was so grateful to actually read a book where the evangelical author confronts homophobia. An entire book could be written addressing that subject alone and the damaging effects homophobic behaviour is having on our world today. And on the reparative therapy topic for homosexuals who "want to change," it's something I have thought much about before but never really heard concrete research on. So it was good for me to be familiarized with it, seeing how it's something I've definitely thought a lot about.Even if you don't agree with Thompson, you must admit he's a man who demands respect and is one person in a sea of hopeless evangelicals that seems to be hopeful about the future of homosexual Christians and ex-gays that exist all over the world. It's good to finally hear a voice.

If you are an Evangelical or Traditional Christian (Catholic/Orthodox) this book is a must read. Rarely does a book
on this topic deal with issues related to homosexuality in a forthright and non-polemical approach and rarely does a book capture the essence of the comprehensive Christian approach in these matters. If you're a hard core believer on either side of these issues you'll get your buttons pushed. If you, however, wish to be radically, lovingly, faithfully, and comprehensively Christian in these things Mr. Thompson has written the best guide possible. This book literally has the potential to change the "shouting match" that so often describes observant Christians' relationship with our gay/lesbian neighbors into something much more healing and contructive for us all as it reminds us that a Christian commitment to basic principles ALSO includes a commitment to authentic love of neighbor.

This book is so monstrously wishy washy and flip flop in its doctrine that I don't know where to begin. So I'll just say this:

HETEROSEXUAL ("straight"): a male or female who is mentally, emotionally, physically, genetically and sexually attracted, and feels internally connected, only to other human members of the opposite gender, and who can enter into a romantic and sexual relationship or union only with members of the opposite gender.

HOMOSEXUAL ("gay/lesbian"): a male or female who is mentally, emotionally, physically, genetically and sexually attracted, and feels internally connected, only to other human members of the same gender, and who can enter into a romantic and sexual relationship or union only with members of the same gender.

EX-GAY: There are two different types of ex-gays:
1) a heterosexual who had previously foresaken members of the opposite gender for members of the same gender (as mentioned in Leviticus and Romans), but has reverted to his or her natural heterosexual identity. This is not a true "ex-gay" because he/she was never gay to begin with.
2)a homosexual who, through various brainwashing techniques, has been convinced that he or she is now a heterosexual, which usually ends disastrously, including suicide. This is not a true "ex-gay" person any more than a brown-eyed person with blue contact lenses is "ex-brown-eyed".

EX-EX-GAY: a homosexual who has recovered from subjection to brainwashing techniques that had convinced the person that he or she had become heterosexual.

With the cliche "hate the sin, love the sinner" attitude, this book simply reinforces the kinds of bigoted stereotypes that have hidden in the hearts of many Christians who have grossly misinterpreted the bible and its various passages allegedly condemning homosexuality.

When looking at whether or not homosexuality is a choice or simply inherent, there are specific value based consequences of one's own opinion on the matter. This book, which premises itself on the "choice" approach, exhibits the sub-conscious fears of homosexuality common to that point of view. When it is possible for a gay man to become straight, one must also open up to the possibility of a straight man becoming gay, the primal fear of those who are perhaps not as stalwart in their heterosexuality as they would have others assume.

Although couched in positive terms, the author cannot escape the essential homophobia of his initial premises.

I had heard about this book recently while listening to the author (Chad) on an interview from local Christian radio station in the Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas area. His message, while certainly not backed up with tremendous scientific studies, is simple and quite profound. What struck me the most in this book was his point that there is a signficant difference between homosexual attraction and homosexual activity. While the author even admits he continues to struggle with male-to-male attraction from time to time, he nevertheless has found hope in non-sexual contact with men, which he believes fills a longing need that underscores his attraction to men in the first place - namely, a truly loving relationship without sexual activity.

Wow! In this macho-crazed America that we live in, how refreshing for someone to step forward and admit that perhaps men need each other as well, not in a sexual connotation, but in fulfilling a need that dates back to our earlier years when perhaps we had no father, or we had a father that was distant, or a father that was abusive and never loved us. We all need to be loved, men and women alike, and we all need each other. While non-sexual touch has worked for this author, it may not lessen homosexual desires among all men. Still, the author never intimates that this is a solution for all men with homosexual attractions. Nevertheless, I found the book, simple, yet quite profound in its approach and discussion of something about which most men simply choose NOT to discuss, period.

Thanks, Chad, for showing us tremendous compassion and warmth for many men and women alike that struggle with homosexual attractions, especially in a world that is often full of contempt and hatred toward people it deems "abnormal".

After hearing Chad Thompson speak at Urbana06, I ordered his book and have thoroughly enjoyed reading and responding to it. The book is well written and accomplishes a number of things: it stretches typical default assumptions regarding how the church ought to show love tangibly to the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered) community and challenges the Christian community to act in love; it helps one to overcome certain stigmatisms that come as a result of a certain degree of unfamiliarity with the issue of homosexuality, homophobia, or simply the lack of being in a friendship with someone who struggles with and/or identifies themselves as homosexual; it encourages those who struggle with same-sex attraction but do not want to embrace the lifestyle (for whatever reason) that there really are healthy alternatives; finally, this book is at heart the story of Chad's journey written with great transparency, compassion, graciousness to all parties, and humility.

I recommend this book to anyone interested in this issues for whatever reason (especially if you are afraid of or unsure of how to approach this issue), and I would particularly recommend it to anyone who has been hurt by the church's sometimes un-compassionate, homophobic, or truly -unethical- response to those in the LGBT community. Hopefully we will all realize that evil per se is not found in any certain political party, activist group, or sexual orientation but it is found partly in every human being (us), and that we must all first deal with our own inner evil tendencies. Only then might we begin addressing the evil found outside of us, in our institutions and communities, with the kind of truth-seeking, humble, sacrificial love to which we have been called.