For ages, women around the world have practiced what we now call "attachment parenting": childbearing and rearing styles that reinforce the tender bond between a mother and her child. In these collected essays, more than forty amazing women come together to share research, insights, and personal experiences on attachment parenting, homebirth, breastfeeding, medical circumcision, co-sleeping, and baby wearing. Contributors include well-known motherhood authors Rachel Gathercole, Jan Hunt, and Sarah Buckley, MD, whose articles have informed and educated audiences worldwide. These mothers' stories underscore the growing significance of attachment parenting in our highly medicalized birth culture, and offer a look at the natural alternatives.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Tiffany Palisi is the proud mother of John Henry who, at two and a half years old, loves co-sleeping, nursing, and riding in the sling. She functions as a NOCIRC (National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers) center and loves educating people on natural attachment parenting.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
True Love and the Right Accessories Sue Landsman
When we were expecting our first child, likely a boy, we did the whole traditional expecting thing—the nursery painted butter yellow with a jungle wallpaper border, the crib set up nicely with the light blue and stars sheet pattern, ready and waiting for the baby. Then he came and our new world began, completely unlike what we had expected. From day one, he slept in our bed, along with our seventy-pound dog, our arms splayed out beside him like the cutest totem pole. The bassinet remained full of laundry. Soon, after learning to nurse lying down, I wouldn’t even remember in the morning when and how often I’d nursed him at night. I woke up to smiles, warm little feet tucked next to my legs, and the heavenly smell of warm, milky baby skin.
Three months later, we walked into the nursery, and noticed an odd, oily, oval black spot at one end of the crib. Apparently the cat had been enjoying it. The bassinet was now completely submerged in laundry. The swing and the bouncy seat went unappreciated—like the cats, our son was a connoisseur of human warmth, and just wanted to be on someone all the time. I bought a sling and carried him around everywhere. He slept with us until he was about a year and a half old, when my husband started getting tired of the family bed idea. Then my husband slept with him in another room, while I slept alone with the dog.
After the second child, a daughter, our baby items got better use. The crib helped prop things up in the basement, and my son spent many happy hours teaching his toys how to vibrate in the bouncy seat. My $14-a-pair natural-wool breast pads became the crucial prop in the "let’s see how long the cat can keep this on his back" game. I bought two more slings. She slept with us for about a year. Then my husband slept with both kids in another room while I slept alone with the dog.
With the third child, we truly learned the meaning of "kangaroo care." Now, with no actual baby items other than diapers anywhere in the house, the baby is just a slightly-higher-bulge-than-before in the fleece pouch in front of Mommy. I always know when he needs to nurse, because as soon as he makes a sound my daughter will shriek, "Baby’s crying! He needs ingie!" Oddly, she’s not at all interested in nursing or tending to her dolls, but she simply must carry around the "nipple cream," because it comes in that fab purple container and fits in her tiny purses. I’ve bought two more slings and lent one to a friend. This baby will sleep with us, undoubtedly, until he joins the somewhat puzzling "everyone-except-Mommy" bed and I resume my intimate relationship with the dog.
As the children get bigger, it’s becoming harder to both feel and convey the adoration that the close body warmth and endless kisses of their early years made so easy. I miss the days when we just rocked together, or all I had to do was tilt my face down to kiss their little heads. We would grin foolishly at each other, in our own little world, sharing a secret that all the moms and babies separated by strollers and hallways were missing out on.
Now I find myself focusing less on this simple giving than on how well they’re meeting my behavioral expectations, or how close they are to pissing me off to the point of screaming at them. Their arms and legs have gotten long and lanky, and their bodies and minds move quicker than mine. It’s hard to remember they’re still little. We spend too much time at odds with each other, frustration and bad feelings stuck in the air like the scent of old fish. Sometimes I think we just need to crawl back into bed together, quiet and still, until we can once again pay attention to what nourished us both when they were babies. That is, after all, how I wanted to parent. The best thing we can give our children is trust—trust that they won’t take advantage of us, that they won’t go bad from too much love, that we can live together in a place where we can give freely and have our needs met without asking.
But of course, nobody notices when things go right. Love, properly, is like air—sweet and invisible. As long as nobody poops in the bed.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A great resource for moms,
By A Customer
This review is from: Loving Mama: Essays on Natural Parenting and Motherhood (Paperback)
I love, love, love this book. It is a collection of essays on parenting written by many different mothers and covers all topics of motherhood, including breastfeeding, childbirth, sleep issues, and fun topics like bathtime. My La Leche League leader suggested it and now I want to buy one for all of my friends. Read this book, your children will thank you. Excellent book!
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
great book, a must read for pregnant women,
By A Customer
This review is from: Loving Mama: Essays on Natural Parenting and Motherhood (Paperback)
I stumbled across this book at a breastfeeding center in New Jersey and I bought it. I didn't know what it was about but since I'm pregnant I wanted to read stories from mothers about their first years as parents. After reading it, everything has changed. I am now going to have a midwife instead of my ob, and I told my husband not to bother to save money for a crib - we are going to keep the baby with us in bed. I always planned on breastfeeding, but now I won't say for how long since I'll let my baby decide. And my husband, who wanted to circumcise, changed his mind after reading the story called "Sam" in the circumcision section. I think this is a book every pregnant woman should read before she has her baby. I'm happy I did.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
great book on natural mothering,
By Laney Fitzmiller "Build a Better Bookshelf" (East Coast, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Loving Mama: Essays on Natural Parenting and Motherhood (Paperback)
As a new mom, people have thrown all sorts of advice my way. It can be confusing, and in an attempt to sort it all out, I turned to books. I found the Iovine's "Girlfriend's Guide" to be puckeringly sweet and not at all focused on being a mother. I found "What to Expect in the First Year" to be textbook boring and not at all useful. Then I read "LOVING MAMA" and all the essays in it, each written by a different mom who shared her personal experience, and I was so very THANKFUL. It's wonderful. It had me in tears at times, and joyful at others. I am so happy to have found this wonderful book. Can't wait for Palisi to publish a new edition with more great stories.
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