Loving Midlife Marriage: A Guide to Keeping Romance Alive From the Empty Nest Through Retirement [Paperback]

Betty L. Polston (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 20, 1999

"A much—needed and excellent work. Dr. Polston has opened a whole new field of study with this tremendous research on family health and happiness. Living better longer is a great goal, and what you will discover here may well add a new dimension to your life. I enjoyed Loving Midlife Marriage immensely." –Art Linkletter, Emmy— and Grammy—Award—winning TV personality and, President of the UCLA Center on Aging Board of Trustees

"Pioneering and unique . . . looks at the empty nest and retirement marriage square in the face and gives wives and husbands the tools to live happily ever after. When the last child leaves and you’re wondering ‘Who is this person I’m married to?’, read it."–Betty Booker, "Prime Living," Richmond Times—Dispatch

"This book pulls the tape off the hidden spots and instructs the reader how to maintain a good marriage and repair a weakening one. Loving Midlife Marriage is a must read for anyone entering into or struggling with the midlife or retirement years."–Sylvia Weishaus, Ph.D., cofounder of the Making Marriage Work program

"Loving Midlife Marriage opens up a lot of critical issues for discussion between husband and wife."–Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., author of Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide

Here is an inspiring, practical guide to getting the most out of your midlife marriage. Most marriages face challenges during midlife. This is often caused by two factors: the empty nest and retirement. With the empty nest, you endure the loss of your role as active mother or father; with retirement, you suffer the loss of a role your job gave you for most of your life. Issues in your marriage that seemed to have been settled years ago are up for discussion once again. Loving Midlife Marriage shows you how to deal with:

• Increased time together and changes in personal space
• Joint and separate activities
• Sex and romance issues
• Your adult children

With good communication tools, compassion, and humor, Dr. Betty Polston shows how you can use the extraordinary opportunities midlife offers to gain new perspectives on your marriage. Based on the author’s years of research, filled with questionnaires, advice, and personal anecdotes, Loving Midlife Marriage can help you learn how to grow your marriage to fit your needs. In fact, your midlife marriage may just be the start of a whole new you!

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Polston, a California psychotherapist, has been studying and counseling midlife couples for over 25 years. Based on both her own experience and her interviews with 100 empty-nesters and recent retirees, this book considers change within a happy marriage, the effect of midlife crises, letting go of your adult children and enhancing your empty-nest marriage, retirement, and nourishing a retirement marriage. She clearly discusses issues such as the loss of important roles, the retooling of your identities, increased conflicts, and creating midlife rituals. She relates the problems that she and her husband faced, first when he retired and then seven years later when they became empty nesters. Each chapter contains exercises, comments by patients, and serious, reflective "questions for growth," which can open up discussion between spouses. Because the book moves methodically along, with few chatty feel-good stories, the lay reader may at first find it slow-going. The reader is expected to work, participate, and discussAnot just sit back and be entertained. Still, this will likely be popular in public libraries.ASusan E. Burdick, Lower Merion Sch. Dist., Ardmore, PA
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

Dr. Polston has opened up a whole new vista with this
tremendous research on "family" health and happiness. Living better,
longer is a great goal, and what you will discover here may well add a
new dimension to your lives. I enjoyed this book immensely. -- Art Linkletter, T.V. and radio personality and President of the UCLA Center on Aging Board of Trustees

Good, grounded, insightful material to help you create the
last half of your life as an expanding adventure. Polston and Golant
have provided a warm and wise guidebook for living and loving the last
half of our lives - a celebration of both our achievements and our new
challenges. -- Maida Rogerson, author with Jack Canfield of Chicken Soupfor the Soul

This book pulls the tape off the hidden spots and instructs
the reader how to maintain a good marriage and repair a weakening
one. Loving Midlife Marriage is a must read for anyone entering into,
struggling with or emerginG from the midlife/retirement years.
-- Sylvia Weishaus, Ph.D. - Founder of the Making Marriage Work Seminars

This pioneering book looks at the empty nest and retirement
marriage square in the face and gives wives and husbands the tools to
live happily ever after. When the last child leaves and you're
wondering who this person is you're married to, read it. When you
start thinking "I married him for life but not for lunch" isn't so
funny, read it. -- Betty Booker, Prime Living Section, Richmond Times Dispatch

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (August 20, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0471314536
• ISBN-13: 978-0471314530
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 6 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,206,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This has really helped me deal with my wife!, October 30, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Loving Midlife Marriage: A Guide to Keeping Romance Alive From the Empty Nest Through Retirement (Paperback)

I retired and was lost. My wife didn't know what to do--I kind of hung around the house and we both got on eachother's nerves. She picked up Loving Midlife Marriage at our local bookstore and started to involve me in some of the exercises.I don't believe in all this psych stuff but went along just to please her. To both of our surprises some changes started to happen--in other words--the book has really helped us and our marriage. To anyone going through this difficult time, I highly recommend this book.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you Dr. Polston, November 26, 1999

By 

Gerald Z. Levin (Baltimore, MD USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Loving Midlife Marriage: A Guide to Keeping Romance Alive From the Empty Nest Through Retirement (Paperback)

Loving Midlife Marriage has been very helpful to us. As a couple in our 50's, we are dealing with empty nest and upcoming retirement problems. The chapter on "Seven Marital Themes and the Empty Nest Marriage" was especially meaningful. The rehearsals and testimonials elevate Loving Midlife Marriage above the typical dry "self-help/how to" book. Specific solutions were given to reoccurring, but seemingly unsolvable problems.

Our retired friends were particularly impressed with the book's perceptive analysis of what work and retirement mean to husbands and wives. It will definitely help us prepare for that time in our lives.

Thank you Dr. Polston!

Francie and Jerry Levin, Baltimore, Maryland

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An invaluable tool for every midlife couple., October 27, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Loving Midlife Marriage: A Guide to Keeping Romance Alive From the Empty Nest Through Retirement (Paperback)

Dr. Polston's book belongs in the libraries of people who are striving to become the most they can -- as individuals, couples, parents, and as members of the human community. The book is a guide to learning the art of living well through understanding the healing power and growth power of loving relationships. The book has much to offer a person who is beginning his/her journey to self-awareness in a relationship as well as those who have experienced and overcome the trials life tosses at couples -- growth never stops, which is a major message of this fine, articluate, and accessible work.