Customer Reviews

Loving Mr Spock

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This is a brilliant work about being in an intimate relationship with a person who has Asperger's Syndrome (AS). AS is a neurobiological condition that affects sensory processing/integration and is on the autism spectrum. It also affects communication.

Many people on the a/A spectrum don't care for hugs and find them intrusive and just endure them to appease others. For many people with AS, hugs can be a sensory onslaught that can include an aversion for the feel of scratchy beards; perfume or body odor; the feel of the hugger's clothing and the feel of being enclosed in a seemingly "restrictive" fashion. Many children on the a/A spectrum dislike loud displays of affection. For neurotypical (NT) counterparts, the natural response when confronted with an adverse response to hugs is to draw the erroneous conclusion that people on the a/A spectrum are devoid of affection.

The book takes its title from the Beatle coiffed character Mr. Spock of "Star Trek" fame. The title character, Mr. Spock is clinical, analytical and seemingly devoid of emotion. Sadly, a misperception that people with AS lack emotion still exists. The term "Mr. Spock," when applied to persons on the a/A spectrum was humorous. People with AS often have a novel way of making assessments and that can be found in the following example. I knew a Beatle fan, a young boy with AS who said of Mr. Spock, "He has a Beatle haircut and so do I. He's like me because of that and because he can figure things out. I read that the guy who made Mr. Spock up likes the Beatles." I like his reasoning.

Since AS is a sensory condition, feeling is what underscores a/A (autism/Asperger's) behavior and responses. Meeting the needs of all involved, the NT and the person on the a/A spectrum can be found in this book. People on the spectrum have heightened sensory modes; sounds are amplified; odors are stronger; tastes are more pungent and tactile contact more intense. The "Mr. Spock" syndrome comes into play because for many people on the spectrum, regulating emotions and "decoding" the facial expressions and responses of others is difficult. "Coming even" after being bombarded with sensory stimuli often appears in a blunted affect which again reinforces the "Mr. Spock" syndrome.

Still, this is an excellent book for adults on the spectrum and for those directly involved with them. It brings to mind June Carter Cash's beautiful words of loving fairness, "I'll meet you halfway." We need more books like this.

This is a brilliant work about being in an intimate relationship with a person who has Asperger's Syndrome (AS). AS is a neurobiological condition that affects sensory processing/integration and is on the autism spectrum. It also affects communication.

Many people on the a/A spectrum don't care for hugs and find them intrusive and just endure them to appease others. For many people with AS, hugs can be a sensory onslaught that can include an aversion for the feel of scratchy beards; perfume or body odor; the feel of the hugger's clothing and the feel of being enclosed in a seemingly "restrictive" fashion. Many children on the a/A spectrum dislike loud displays of affection. For neurotypical (NT) counterparts, the natural response when confronted with an adverse response to hugs is to draw the erroneous conclusion that people on the a/A spectrum are devoid of affection.

The book takes its title from the Beatle coiffed character Mr. Spock of "Star Trek" fame. The title character, Mr. Spock is clinical, analytical and seemingly devoid of emotion. Sadly, a misperception that people with AS lack emotion still exists. The term "Mr. Spock," when applied to persons on the a/A spectrum was humorous. People with AS often have a novel way of making assessments and that can be found in the following example. I knew a Beatle fan, a young boy with AS who said of Mr. Spock, "He has a Beatle haircut and so do I. He's like me because of that and because he can figure things out. I read that the guy who made Mr. Spock up likes the Beatles." I like his reasoning.

Since AS is a sensory condition, feeling is what underscores a/A (autism/Asperger's) behavior and responses. Meeting the needs of all involved, the NT and the person on the a/A spectrum can be found in this book. People on the spectrum have heightened sensory modes; sounds are amplified; odors are stronger; tastes are more pungent and tactile contact more intense. The "Mr. Spock" syndrome comes into play because for many people on the spectrum, regulating emotions and "decoding" the facial expressions and responses of others is difficult. "Coming even" after being bombarded with sensory stimuli often appears in a blunted affect which again reinforces the "Mr. Spock" syndrome.

Still, this is an excellent book for adults on the spectrum and for those directly involved with them. It brings to mind June Carter Cash's beautiful words of loving fairness, "I'll meet you halfway." We need more books like this.