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Loving Our Kids On Purpose: Making A Heart-To-Heart Connection Paperback – December 1, 2008

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Editorial Reviews


It is very difficult to promote Danny Silk s ministry without sounding like I have the need to exaggerate. But the truth is, in the circle I run in, he is without equal. His discernment gives him access to root issues that have become obstacles to relational peace and blessing,while his wisdom enables him to be a builder of families and an architect of relationships. I heartily recommend Danny and all his materials to help bring about God s best for your life. ---Bill Johnson, Senior Leader of Bethel Church, Redding, CA

I have known Danny Silk for more then twenty-five years. He has the most amazing ability to understand the root causes of social and behavior issues of anyone I have ever encounter in my thirty years of working with people. Our team has been encouraging him to write this book for a long time, as his timeless wisdom needs to be imparted to the masses. BUT READER BEWARE: Danny s insights often smash old religious mindsets and free people from the bondage of spiritual captivity.You will find that you are laughing and crying yourself into new relational paradigms as you willingly walk head first into his sword. His stories will capture your heart, his wisdom will astonish you and his life will change you forever. This book is a must read for everyone,whether you have children or not. ---Kris Vallotton, Senior Associate Pastor of

About the Author

Danny Silk is the Family Life Pastor at Bethel Church in Redding, CA. He is also the president of Loving On Purpose, a non-profit dedicated to the strengthening of families and community at local, national and international levels.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Destiny Image (December 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0768427398
  • ISBN-13: 978-0768427394
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (348 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #7,789 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Danny Silk serves on the Senior Leadership Team of both Bethel Church in Redding, CA and Jesus Culture in Sacramento, CA. He is the President and Co-Founder of Loving on Purpose a ministry to families and communities worldwide. Danny is also the author of four books: Culture of Honor, Loving our Kids on Purpose, Powerful and Free and the top selling Keep Your Love On. Danny and Sheri married in 1984, and have three children and three grandchildren.

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

70 of 75 people found the following review helpful By Single Mom on November 9, 2008
Format: Paperback
I am a single mother of 3 kids and the owner of my own business. My life used to be filled with stress and chaos. The tools in this book helped me become the mother I always desired to be. I have not arrived, but for the first time I have the tools that are working for my family. My children and I now have a loving and peaceful home filled with hope, rather than a home filled with destructive behavior and destructive communication. Prior to reading this book my life was an absolute mess, this book has completely changed my life and the destiny of my children's lives.
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60 of 64 people found the following review helpful By Kim Konrad on March 14, 2009
Format: Paperback
I thought I had a great relationship with my daughter so I wasn't in a hurry to dive into all things Danny Silk - until I heard him speak at my church. He rewired my thinking. I slowly began to collect his teaching (you can download his Mp3 teachings). I work with teens in crisis and I see bad parenting all the time, but after reading this series I have a much better understanding. Let me sum up Danny's book like this...

We're afraid our kids will make the wrong choice so we either limit their choices to the right one and the other right one or we manipulate them into making the right decision. Then when something bad happens we step in the way of the consequence and figure out the solution for them and tell them what they're going to do with the mess they created. Danny's method let's them learn how to think... AMAZING! They get to make the choice and then we don't stand in the way of the consequences. They have to figure out solutions to their own messes. It empowers our kids. They have confidence in their decisions because they can mess up in a SAFE environment. How often do Christian families raise "GOOD" kids and then when they go off to college, they suddenly turn "BAD"... it's because the parents never taught their child how to think for themselves and come up with solutions to their problems that make them learn what the best choice is so the next time that same situation arises, they know how to avoid that consequence - DO WHAT'S RIGHT!

If you want to learn how to raise a competent adult, Danny has tools that are so easy to implement. This works for any age child. You can also implement these strategies with employees and students if you teach.
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63 of 71 people found the following review helpful By MSB on July 19, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'm a Christian Mother who uses mindful, respectful, non punishment parenting with my children. Typically I have not found that type of parenting supported in parenting books from a Christian perspective. So when I saw this recommended by a fellow Christian unschooling Mom I thought it was worth a read.

This book started out wonderfully giving great detail and scripture to back up why the bible does not teach us to demean and control or children. So many great points were covered about how Jesus loves us, how we are to be examples and show that wonderful love to our children.
So bravo to Pastor Silk for saying such wonderful things in support of respectful parenting! If only he had used parenting examples to back up this kind of loving, gentle, respectful parenting.

Where this book fell flat for me was in the parenting examples supplied. It seemed to me as though the how to portion of this book was in direct opposition from the earlier chapters of the book. Almost as if it was written by two different authors from very different view points. He quotes a lot from Love and Logic, which maybe is why it seemed as if the advice was coming from a different source that earlier chapters.
One example was the Fun or Room option given to his toddler. This seemed to me to be forcing a child who is in need of parental understanding and loving guidance to essentially go away because they are not being fun.
He used the similar Fun or room with a toddler who was having trouble with a cup stuck in the top rack of the dishwasher and began to have a meltdown do to the struggle.
It seemed as if a child was not being guided with understanding their feelings but being essentially taught to deny them if they wanted to stick around with the rest of the family.
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21 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Lisa B on December 26, 2011
Format: Paperback
So, I grew up in a traditional Christian home. Both my parents believers and a pretty good thrid child. But my parents main use of disciplin was used to control us, not empower us. Both my older siblings rebelled in their own ways. The eldest was the worst, completely turning his back on God and believing Him to be a dictatorial, controlling Person like our Dad. My sister, the middle child, turned from Him in passivity, having no example of a relational or emotional God, she couldn't relate. She so relational herself that she just couldn't get why she was to love this hard Person- or even really see Him as anything but some guy in the sky who created this crazy world we live in.. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't seen their examples and sworn not to break my parents hearts like them I would have more easily turned away as well. I knew Holy Spirit as ansmall child in a house that didn't even mention Him except when talking about 3in1. As it was I continued to search as an adult for the kind of church/God that I knew in my heart.

Since reading this book I am completely convinced that if my parents knew this information/saw God for who He really is, that my siblings would never have turned from Him. In fact, as I have shared this book with them, they have been launched into a personal journey of discovering that they didn't know what they thought they knew about God. It's been a beautiful experience.

Danny outlines not only how a parent can influence a child, but deeper veins of how God actually responds to us. He is not a God of disciplin and control- but one of Love, Patience, kindness, goodness, etc etc. When he 'disciplines' us it is to keep us from something far worse.
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