Customer Reviews

Loving Sander

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

I think this wonderful book should be in the hands of everyone who thinks that they are a lover of boys. As someone who's currently in this kind of relationship, I found the book very compelling and true to life. Also, I've been on both sides of this issue. I had a similar relationship when I was a kid, and it was most beneficial to me.

The story follows the inner conflicts of an older man as he's trying to resolve his relationship with a younger boy, with all the twists, suprises and rush of feelings that a boy can bring. I think this book would be useful to younger people, letting them see that there's more to love and relationships than what they see on the evening news, and the media in general.

how fascinating to read the different reviews of this book!

it seems that the "child advocates" who are out to "protect" kids are all giving this one star. well, its sad and silly but that is what they are.

this is a story about a man who loves a young boy and is able to show it in all possible ways. i am not saying that every man-boy relationship should be sexual, and im not saying that there are not plenty of adults who are out to sexually exploit a young boy. but this story is certainly NOT a portrait of that. why cant these people acknowledge that its as possible for a boy and a man to be attracted to each other as it is for two adults (and i think its safe to say the critics would only deem male-female permissible) to care?

as to the book itself, it tends to be a bit stilted at times; i would have given it only three stars, but i am giving geraci an extra star for his bravery in putting this caring -- and necessary -- work on paper.

In all the years of my reading, and viewing the realities of this ttroubled world, I have rarely found honest portrayals of Love. "LOVING SANDER" accomplished this task, with honsty and a subtle focus on the truer issues--that are NOT about pedophilia. The story takes into the heart of the matter, if only we were able to 'hear' the boy's heart, we'd be richer for the experience. Still, one can see and feel the intensiity of what this Love they share causes each one to have to choose. It also provided us with a Western bias of what love between a boy and man costs--paranoia and fear. I DO NOT advocate such a relationship, only that this book allowed me to feel and hear and understand the deeper matters involved,just that if it grows, it knows, and this book truely shows...

In this book the author attempts to normalize and justify pedophila by telling the story of an art scholar named Will who "befriends" a Dutch boy. At first it seems that the friendship is true and caring. Sander, whose parents are going through separation, needs somebody to be there for him and to provide support. Will seems to provide for some of these emotional needs. Had the relationship stayed just that, there wouldn't be a problem. However, the relationship eventually turns sexual. And it is at this point that I feel the true motives of the pedophile are seen. The claim being made is that Will loves Sander, but the love and affection are just a means to acquire sexual satisfaction.

I found it very interesting that all of the typical elements of child molestation were person providing gifts and attention in order to acquire sex. 3. Replacing true compassion and love with sexual intimacy.

If a person really cares for a child, he or she will protect that child's innocence and sexuality NOT exploit it. This book promotes an extremely skewed idea of love. Although the author writes well, the story is propoganda at it's worst!

Befriending a boy who needs emotional support is a good thing, and that was this book's "foot in the door". But ruining it with perverted sex, (homosexual child molestation), turned this book into just another sales brochure for the man-boy political branch of the homosexual agenda. The character "Will" exhibits typical pedophile behavior with the standard deceptions until he gets what he wants. In fact, the choice of Will's name was telling, since he was willful and forced his will upon a confused boy. Books that show how to take sexual advantage of immature children to the point of molesting them. This book wasn't about love, but about sex, and it isn't tender once you see what the adult planned to do with the boy's life. Just as Will was deceptive, I'll never again trust the person who recommended this book to me. Regardless of what the book says, men can still be true friends to boys and not ruin lives like Will did in this tragedy. If this book is dropped, I'll have a renewed hope in mankind.

The "one star" rating was the lowest allowed. But stars give light. This was more like a "black hole".

Joseph Geraci's novel is subtle and restrained as he develops the story of an American in Holland falling in love with an 11-year-old Sander. Geraci delicately describes the ambiguous nature of this relationship. First he is subtle in the two scenes involving sex. The reader is aware of what is happening, but intimate details are left out. The scenes are charged with erotocism yet underplayed as well. Secondly, Geraci uses the relationship of Will's friend Toon with the by Ashok as a kind of foil. Toon takes pictures of this boy and has sex with him and ends up in court. Toon's attitude is feisty, which does not help his court case. Many in the boy-love movement, however, would resonate with him.

This trial causes Will to consider his relationship with Sander. He has to make a choice bwteen going back to tenure at his uiniveristy job in San Franscisco or staying in Amsterdam and running a photo gallery foir Niek, Sander's father.

It sems that Sander's parents, Niek and Marijke, are aware of the relationship Sander has with Will. They, too, are ambiguous. Both need Sander and Will in their lives.

The setting of this novel in Holland makes these complications possib le because in many other places, Will would be prosecuted or scared off. Thus, Geraci uses his setting to put forth the variouos complexities and ambiguity of intergenerational relationships.

The very nature of these relationships is temporal. Boys grow up and out of their need for a man. Will has to make decisions that will affect his entire future. Should he risk that for a few years of off and on affection with a boy who will soon be twelve and then older?

Intergenerational issues have not been outwardly discussed in the U.S. either in research or in art. Some would consider even this restrained novel pornographic because of the sexual contact between Will and Sander. Somehow many in this country do not believe young people have a sexuality or if they do, that sexuality needs to be suppressed.

Fict! ion like Gerci's "Loving Sander" can help open doors. Even though Geraci is sympathetic to his boy-lover protagonist, he portrays this relationship as risky in many ways. Perhaps through art intergenerational relationships can be discussed and somehow objective research projects can be developed that might shed some light on them.

"An American photography scholar working in Holland has befriended the ten-year-old son of colleagues there. Over the next two years, Will is increasingly caught up in tensions between Sander's mother Marijke and her estranged husband Niek over his growing intimacy with Sander..." In this truly insightful book, Joseph Geraci tells the tale of the difficulties inherent in the relationship of a man loving a young boy in today's society. How even the simple act of giving a boy a present is fraught with suspicion of ulterior motives, and how the world in general seems intent on destroying loving, consensual friendships between men and boys. Going one step further, Mr. Geraci also delves into the growing influence of American child-abuse hysteria on the culture of the once-tolerant Netherlands. Despite this interference he shows that the justice system there still has some sensibility, and actually takes into account what the child has to say about such friendships. Throughout it all, of course, is Sander. A bright, energetic and attractive young boy, he gradually becomes the center of the narrator's universe. How the two them deal with their love for each other is told with refreshingly candid insight. This book is deserving of a wide audience. Not only would men who love boys enjoy it, but I would also recommend it to anyone involved on a professional level with children, and those who are interested in learning the truth about love between men and boys

I bought a used copy of Loving Sander at the Portobello Road market, in London, a year ago, without knowing the subject. If you aren't into pedophilic fiction, it's a bit of a shocker: Adult, male American teacher has intimate affair with cute, ten-year old Dutch boy. It was, I think, Oscar Wilde who remarked that, "True love and true beauty have neither age nor gender." That could well be true (and who would know better than Oscar?) Indeed, if you can get over the age-gender hurdle in Loving Sander, you will probably like the book. It took me into a whole, new world, which I believe is what fiction is supposed to do. The author is no literary genius, but this is nonetheless a competent, very compelling read; and tailoring it for a general audience (for which I believe it is intended) must have been a tough chore. However, I can't say I "enjoyed" Loving Sander - I find nothing in pedophilia except lust and child-molestation, and I was conscious throughout my reading of this book that something "wrong" was being done to the boy. I'm a father, and I wanted to hollar out, "Get away from him!" When you read Loving Sander, keep in mind that the protagonist's activities, if discovered, would put him away for ten years or more, in most civilized countries (look what happened to poor Oscar.) The corruption of a vulnerable, confused, virtually-fatherless ten-year-old does not a love story make, in my view. It's high-level felony. Without meaning to sound noble (I'm not noble), I would remind the author of Loving Sander that there are decent, honorable men out there actually trying to help troubled boys, not bed them.

Yesterday, Loving Sander arrived at my door. I couldn't put it down. For those of us who have ever felt true and whole hearted devotion towards another person, this book touches the heart. The author depicts the emotional attachment shared by Will and Sander in a very believable manner. Set in contemporary Amsterdam, the novel tells a story of love in a less-than-accepting world.

Loving Sander by Joseph Geraci is nothing more than child pornography and should be outlawed.

The book attempts to romanticize this perverted relationship under the false pretense of love. It fails miserably; instead it paints the picture of a confused child (10 years old)being preyed on by an adult who uses his families trust, and the boys emotional state to have his way with the boy sexually.

I'm sure that this book will find itself in the hands of pedofiles and in the fireplace of humane beings with conscience....

The only reason I'm rating this at all is because this review will not be printed without a rating so I've given it the lowest possible.