About the Author
GARY CHAPMAN, PhD, is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages. With over 30 years of counseling experience, he has the uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to human behavior, showing readers not just where they go wrong, but also how to grow and move forward. Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University. For more information visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
I met Raphael in beautiful sunny southern California. He was the picture of health, and I supposed that his bronze skin and handsome physique caught the eyes of many women. But Raphael was not a womanizer. he was devoted to his wife, Joanna, to whom he had been married for fifteen years. they had met in college and the early years of their marriage had been exciting for both of them. But in more recent years, there had developed a growing distance. Raphael had tried to discuss his feelings with Joanna but she didn't want to talk about it until one day when she finally let the words flow, like water rushing down the mountain after a heavy rain. She told Raphael that she was involved with a man at work, that they had been friends for many years and lovers for the past two years.Survey the landscape of marriages in this country and you will find it dotted with homes inhabited by people who struggle with real pain. Their problems have no quick fix nor will they go away with time. Hope is often smothered by the magnitude of their problems. These are the kind of problems that I wish to address in this book, including how to deal with a spouse who is unfaithful, alcoholic, controlling, irresponsible, or verbally, physically, or sexually abusive. For all of these situations, and others, there are loving solutions. Solutions that may preserve the marriage and can make couples feel good about themselves and their spouses. I am under no illusion that I can give a magic formula to bring healing to all such marriages. However, I do believe, based upon my own experience in counseling, research in the field, and sound moral principles, that there is hope for such marriages.I believe that in every troubled marriage positive steps can be taken by one or both partners, steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate between the two of them. In due time they can find answers to their problems. For most of these couples, ultimate solutions will depend not only upon their own actions but upon the support of the religious and therapeutic community in their city. But there is hope - hope for lasting solutions.