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Loving Your Child Is Not Enough: Positive Discipline That Works Paperback – April 1, 1998


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Loving Your Child Is Not Enough: Positive Discipline That Works + Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma + Loving without Spoiling : And 100 Other Timeless Tips for Raising Terrific Kids
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin Books; Revised edition (April 1, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0140270531
  • ISBN-13: 978-0140270532
  • Product Dimensions: 0.7 x 4.9 x 7.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #246,398 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Samalin founded the Parent Guidance Workshops in New York City 10 years ago. With Jablow ( Cara: Growing Up with a Retarded Child, she presents here persuasive and readily accessible counseling based on workshop sessions with clients. Mothers and fathers record dialogues between them and their small children and bring the transcripts to Samalin for analysis. Readers will laugh, perhaps nervously, at examples of familiar aggravations. In one case study, Chip starts an argument with his mother, demanding that she be the one to dress him. She loses patience; the battle escalates. Soon parent and tot are "discussing" on the same level: his. Parents are advised how to talk to their children in tense situations, minor and major. The central idea is that they can discipline their youngsters effectively by first training themselves to think before reacting negatively to misbehavior. 20,000 first printing; first serial to Parents magazine; author tour.
Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

[Samalin's] discipline advice, shared with wit and compassion, is absolutely brilliant. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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See all 27 customer reviews
The guidance is practical, clear and sensible.
Marilyn S. Alger
The result is to minimize our children's negative responses, and encourage them to exercise good judgement and take responsibility for their actions.
Amy Bean
My partner and I just finished reading this book.
blucy73097@aol.com

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

49 of 51 people found the following review helpful By Daphne J. Schuster on March 26, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As a practicing Marriage and Family Psychotherapist and former elementary school principal, I must have read hundreds of books on how to discipline children effectively. However, the problem with many of them is that the emphasis is generally on how to get children to behave cooperatively, rather than on how to raise emotionally healthy, happy, responsible children who know how think for themselves.
Nancy's book is the best match I've seen for the methods that therapists believe are most effective in developing high self-esteem in kids. The author helps parents and teachers understand that, by treating children with dignity and respect and listening to their feelings,our kids will WANT to do the 'RIGHT THING'. Loving Your Child Is Not Enough is written in clear, easy-to-read chapters filled with examples we all can relate to.
I often recommend that busy moms and dads buy the cassette version and listen and talk about it, and I frequently use Nancy's explanations in describing good parenting to my clients - AND to their children! I also suggest that readers will want to read other books written by Sammalin.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Bea Marquette on November 12, 2000
Format: Paperback
A copy of Nancy Samalin's Loving Your Child is Not Enough should be handed to every new parent. In a perfect world, it would be required reading for all parents. Nancy shows us the way to stress free parenting where everyone's self esteem remains intact and results abound. I have learned to rethink my responses in situations that would previously have been governed by anger or frustation. Now I can react with humor and common sense. No more lectures or belittling. I use Nancy's methods in my classroom where I am surrounded by happy children who love school. I offer Nancy's books to parents who come to me with questions about parenting. I strongly recommend this book to everyone who is a parent searching for advice on how to raise children with love, compassion and wisdom. Thank you Nancy for the best book on parenting ever!
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 3, 1997
Format: Paperback
So many of us grow up with parental criticism. It colors the way we view ourselves and how we raise our own children. Of course, children need limits. But how to impose those limits is no easy task. Which helps to make parenting the hardest job everyone will ever do. When we read chapter 6 "Constructive Criticism Isn't -- Building Self Esteem" we realized what we'd been doing all these years. And how this was hurting our son, our daughter, and tearing the fabric of our entire family. We heard ourselves in the scripted examples that Ms. Samalin gave. She illustrated for us exactly what we were doing. It was as though there was a hidden camera and microphone hidden in our house and someone was playing it back for us. And we were both saddened by what we sounded like. We believed we were better parents than that. After reading this book, we finally are. We thank Nancy Samalin for writing this and helping us
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By blucy73097@aol.com on September 15, 1999
Format: Paperback
My partner and I just finished reading this book. He spent days highlighting specific points that he wished for me to pay special attention to. This book made an incredible impression on me. I've already begun taking "baby steps" in using some of the suggestions with my son, age 11 and I've alredy begun to see "results" in his smiles! Most importantly, I was reminded of the vital importance of choosing ones words very carefully when interacting with your children (for that matter, everyone) because a word and/or a tone can make such a difference! Thank you, Ms. Samalin, for your pearls of wisdom!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Jody L. Schoth on December 9, 2002
Format: Audio CD
I purchased the audio version of this book, and found it more rewarding. The first time I played it, I picked up on the concept of the new discipline theory. The audio provided many examples, and basically seems to be a simple theory. I've tried using the positive discipline plan with my two daughters, and surprisingly it worked very well in many situations. Very seldom did I have to resort to my old disciplinary behaviors. My children prefer the new methods, and have become more verbal about their own punishments, and what they believe is fair and unfair. Though we don't see eye to eye on these, we have the communication, and they do seem to be behaving a lot better and we are able to spend more time enjoying each other, instead of arguing or separated into different rooms. When I replayed this tape after several months later, I was encouraged to continue this plan, and also to fine tune it with a few additional recommendations that were discussed. I highly recommend this to all parents who wish to develop a stronger relationship with their children, and who wish to gain a little more respect from them as well.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Chris James on October 28, 2002
Format: Audio CD
Out of the numerous parenting books I've read this is BY FAR the best. Unlike the other ones which give broad generalizations about child communications and behavior, Loving Your Child Is Not Enough gives specific dialogs and actions to use in a variety of stressful situations. I've recommend Samalin's books to many of my friends and I would certainly recommend it to you if you're interested in improving your relationship with your children and educating yourself in communication skills. Believe me, reading this book will have a major impact on your life and the payoff is tremendous.
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