Customer Reviews: Loving Your Child Is Not Enough: Positive Discipline That Works
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on March 26, 2000
As a practicing Marriage and Family Psychotherapist and former elementary school principal, I must have read hundreds of books on how to discipline children effectively. However, the problem with many of them is that the emphasis is generally on how to get children to behave cooperatively, rather than on how to raise emotionally healthy, happy, responsible children who know how think for themselves.
Nancy's book is the best match I've seen for the methods that therapists believe are most effective in developing high self-esteem in kids. The author helps parents and teachers understand that, by treating children with dignity and respect and listening to their feelings,our kids will WANT to do the 'RIGHT THING'. Loving Your Child Is Not Enough is written in clear, easy-to-read chapters filled with examples we all can relate to.
I often recommend that busy moms and dads buy the cassette version and listen and talk about it, and I frequently use Nancy's explanations in describing good parenting to my clients - AND to their children! I also suggest that readers will want to read other books written by Sammalin.
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on November 12, 2000
A copy of Nancy Samalin's Loving Your Child is Not Enough should be handed to every new parent. In a perfect world, it would be required reading for all parents. Nancy shows us the way to stress free parenting where everyone's self esteem remains intact and results abound. I have learned to rethink my responses in situations that would previously have been governed by anger or frustation. Now I can react with humor and common sense. No more lectures or belittling. I use Nancy's methods in my classroom where I am surrounded by happy children who love school. I offer Nancy's books to parents who come to me with questions about parenting. I strongly recommend this book to everyone who is a parent searching for advice on how to raise children with love, compassion and wisdom. Thank you Nancy for the best book on parenting ever!
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on January 3, 1997
So many of us grow up with parental criticism. It colors the way we view ourselves and how we raise our own children. Of course, children need limits. But how to impose those limits is no easy task. Which helps to make parenting the hardest job everyone will ever do. When we read chapter 6 "Constructive Criticism Isn't -- Building Self Esteem" we realized what we'd been doing all these years. And how this was hurting our son, our daughter, and tearing the fabric of our entire family. We heard ourselves in the scripted examples that Ms. Samalin gave. She illustrated for us exactly what we were doing. It was as though there was a hidden camera and microphone hidden in our house and someone was playing it back for us. And we were both saddened by what we sounded like. We believed we were better parents than that. After reading this book, we finally are. We thank Nancy Samalin for writing this and helping us
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on September 15, 1999
My partner and I just finished reading this book. He spent days highlighting specific points that he wished for me to pay special attention to. This book made an incredible impression on me. I've already begun taking "baby steps" in using some of the suggestions with my son, age 11 and I've alredy begun to see "results" in his smiles! Most importantly, I was reminded of the vital importance of choosing ones words very carefully when interacting with your children (for that matter, everyone) because a word and/or a tone can make such a difference! Thank you, Ms. Samalin, for your pearls of wisdom!
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on October 28, 2002
Out of the numerous parenting books I've read this is BY FAR the best. Unlike the other ones which give broad generalizations about child communications and behavior, Loving Your Child Is Not Enough gives specific dialogs and actions to use in a variety of stressful situations. I've recommend Samalin's books to many of my friends and I would certainly recommend it to you if you're interested in improving your relationship with your children and educating yourself in communication skills. Believe me, reading this book will have a major impact on your life and the payoff is tremendous.
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on December 9, 2002
I purchased the audio version of this book, and found it more rewarding. The first time I played it, I picked up on the concept of the new discipline theory. The audio provided many examples, and basically seems to be a simple theory. I've tried using the positive discipline plan with my two daughters, and surprisingly it worked very well in many situations. Very seldom did I have to resort to my old disciplinary behaviors. My children prefer the new methods, and have become more verbal about their own punishments, and what they believe is fair and unfair. Though we don't see eye to eye on these, we have the communication, and they do seem to be behaving a lot better and we are able to spend more time enjoying each other, instead of arguing or separated into different rooms. When I replayed this tape after several months later, I was encouraged to continue this plan, and also to fine tune it with a few additional recommendations that were discussed. I highly recommend this to all parents who wish to develop a stronger relationship with their children, and who wish to gain a little more respect from them as well.
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on December 8, 2005
This book was instrumental in making me a better and more confident parent. The guidance is practical, clear and sensible. Much of the guidance in this book is useful over many years of a child's life, just applied a bit differently. I still use tips from this book with my college-age son! The specific advice on disciplining a child without harming the child's self-esteem or harming the parent/child relationship was very useful to my husband and myself. This is the most worthwhile guidance we found anywhere on the subject of child rearing.
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on April 29, 2004
I highly recommend this book. The title may be a bit deceptive, since it's really about avoiding punishment and letting normal consequences and kids' own consciences steer them the right way. Many practical examples are given, that translate easily into daily use. Very readable, it helps both parents who have trouble setting limits, and also in a very sensitive and palatable way helps those who have fallen into an punitive and harsh pattern with their kids. Very helpful.
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on August 4, 2000
In all my years of being an educator--29--this is by far the best book on parenting I have read! It reminds me of the "old school" math books--chock full of practical, down-to-earth examples, not theory--of how to enact positive discipline in your children. Ms. Samalin's wealth of experience is brought to bear in this book, and she runs the gamut in age ranges--from the toddler through and including high schoolers. This book is an absolute must for any parent--from the first time parent to one having a fourth child. If you think you know all there is to know about parenting, read this book and get ready to "think again." I guarantee this book will open you to effective ways to improve your relationships with your children, aside from enacting positive discipline, that you have not thought of before. To paraphrase a famous ad slogan, "Just Do It"--Read This Book!
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on December 19, 2015
I ordered this book because as my son approaches the age where we have to begin disciplining, I was nervous about using negative discipline, and wanted him to grow up in a safe, nurturing environment. It has helped me become more comfortable with techniques to use positive discipline and I know as he continues to grow and we have more kids that I'll be able to provide the safe environment that I'd like to, and not have to worry about structure or discipline more than I have to.
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