Customer Reviews

Lying Together: My Russian Affair

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

A tragic comedy in many parts, "Lying together" has a clear double meaning, as we read about two very dysfunctional people lying to themselves as they lie in bed together in seedy Russian apartments.

I have to say that enjoyed this book, yet also warn potential readers that the story has all the elements of a college-educated person's version of the Jerry Springer show. There are just so many bad decisions, alcoholic episodes, disorders, abused drugs, manic-depressive states, states of denial, blind spots, and excessive bravado. If this had been a novel, it may have been dismissed as too incredible to be true. Having spent some time in Russia in the 1990's, my sense is that book brings all too true. Sad, very sad, but true.

By e-mail, Cohen falls inexplicably even irrationally for a less-than-almost crush, Kevin, and agrees to fly off to Russia, on a whim and promise of a political scandal. Perhaps she suffered to take on this relationship for the same reason she suffered from bulimia. She ought to know: her parents are a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She wants to deny that children of such parents can produce dysfunctional kids. The fact that the family talks about everything - her evidence of their normality - does not provide much cover for what is better described as some major gaps in translating values across generations.

Once back in Moscow (she had studied there years earlier), she jumps right into a death defying if not death wish desire to document the sex and slave trade emanating from a scandalous, corrupt Russian society. The crush provides the contacts, the translation precision, and the stimulus to push the journalistic envelope. Only too soon does Cohen learn that her business is less about breaking stories and more about confirming clichés. And her stomping grounds, St. Petersburg and Moscow, offer plentiful fodder for clichés. She is most compelling when she documents the difficulty of life in these two cities today, from the violence, to the bribes, to the petty and not-so-petty corruption, the terrible architecture, the strip joints and gun-toting security guards, the tiny, rusty, domestic, automobiles alongside gleaming SUVs, the ongoing fatal fascination with cigarettes and vodka. The problem seems to be that she and Kevin fit too well into this marginal life, where living on the edge is the only place to live.

Yes, the book is enjoyable, sometimes pretentious, and compelling (I read it in less than 24 hours, eager to see how Cohen pulls out of this mess). But it is a dark, stormy ride, giving me the most satisfaction to be able to say that I am glad that I was not foolish enough to engage in such a crazy pursuit. That's why Jerry Springer can be satisfying: I'm just glad that it wasn't me. At least Jen and Kevin earn some sympathy. Good luck in their next endeavors.

Although Jennifer Cohen paints a realistic and visually compelling picture of post-Soviet Moscow & St. Petersburg, I couldn't help but be angry with her failure and near-sightedness when it came to her opinions and her relationship with the country. She treats the whole of Russia as though it is entirely composed of the well developed capitalistic centers of Moscow and St. Petersburg without venturing beyond the boundaries of these cities to see that the majority of Russia is drastically different. Russia is an unbalanced country, it is no place for an unbalanced woman. From the moment I began reading about her love affair with the country I knew that her coming there was destined to be a failure. Her book is filled with hypocrysies about the lowliness and shallowness of Russian life and people which revolves around poverty, corruption, drugs, prostitution, and alcoholism. She is disgusted with these things and yet she fails to recognize the parallel themes between life in the U.S. and Russia like the fact that the widespread issue of alcoholism in russia is the equivalent of the American dependence on anti-depressents, with her and Kevin being the perfect examples - it's just a way to escape the real world. I thought the book would evoke feelings of respect for an American brave enough to leave her cushioned life and take up residence in an unknown and scary contry still trying to find itself, but all I felt was pity and disgust. I felt like she was an intruder and did not belong. Although the book was beautifully written I was left with a feeling of disappointment.

Though she thinks she's writing a romance novel, Cohen has actually produced a grotesquely comic portrait of all that is most loathsome in contemporary American culture. She's self-righteous about all the wrong things: smoking, drinking, drugs and sex. But she has no shame at all about letting her tabloid news producer use her to hound any liberal targets he wants destroyed. In fact, she uses a rumor about Clinton administration officials visiting Moscow prostitutes to get him to finance her childish, silly pilgrimage to Russia to entrap "a man [she's] never so much as kissed." When their fanciful romance fails, she returns to a job with Fox Networks, convinced of her own rectitude. At last she has escaped evil Russia, where people drink, smoke and exchange sex for money. She's back home in Trumpland, where true morality reigns.

Cohen's skills as a writer are not bad, but the book is, unintentionally of course, hilarious (if you have lived in Moscow during time Cohen writes of). You have to read the book to see what I mean. By the way if you are wondering what happened to "Kevin Dillard" he wrote a review in "the eXile" of the book.

Gosha

This is a great quick read. I have been to Moscow and Petersburg and agree with most of her descriptions about life there. Cohen captures a sense of place and immediacy. Her characters are colorful considering how quickly they come and go. She's clever and witty with a dark edge. It is not great literature but very good journalism like a long long short story in the New Yorker. Read it if you are a adventure traveler or wished you could be.

This book took me so long to read and I only finished it because I thought maybe it was leading up to something. I guess if you like smoking, drugs, manic depression and submissive women then you will like this book. I think I may be partial to books with some sort of ending.

What a pleasure to be in the hands of a writer whose insight and honesty matches her skill as a writer. I've never traveled to Russia, but having lived abroad, I related to Cohen's emotional trajectory as she falls head over heels in love with the country and a man, and then tries to sustain the high as she loses her grasp on the things (and person) that matter to her most. Her writing is witty, heartfelt and intelligent and never becomes self-pitying or self-aggrandizing. After finishing her book, I feel like I have the capacity to live more bravely and expressively.

Ms. Cohen's is a subtle wit. Her open account is slightly self-mocking and conveys to the reader both her passion and vulnerability in a thoroughly entertaining read. The author embraces the very flaws in herself and her environment that both thrill us and make us cringe. Ultimately, the book is a comming of age story. It demonstrates a deep self awareness and self appreciation that many of us spend a lifetime working toward.

If you're going to fall in love with the wrong guy, you may as well do it in spades. Like find a guy that you haven't seen in six years. Someone of course who is a native of a country half way around the world. A country that is in turmoil because of the collapse. As if 'normal' relations with the oposite gender (...).

But if you're going to do all that, at least do it in a way that you can produce an excellent book. And an excellent book it is. You develop a genuine concern for the author as she goes through an almost incredible set of adventures.

I can't believe that "Where's Kevin now? "a writer from NYC" and "SF Ward" read the same book as I did. I loved "Lying Together: My Russian Affair" so much that I recommend it to many friends. Pretty much without exception, we all agreed that it was a true page-turner. The writing was eloquent, the storyline gripping. I truly could not put it down and I highly recommend reading it.