Customer Reviews

MHP The Sandler All Wood Coffin Kit

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

So, being dead for the last 100 years, lets just say I've had my fair share of chances to try out the latest and greatest in coffin technology.

I've easily spent ten times this much on a coffin that ended up being not even half as comfortable. I may be dead, but that doesn't mean I can't be picky about the conditions in which I lay. I find this all wood coffin kit is really classy and yet understated. Occasionally, this bad boy gets me some hot looks from the dead chicks who see me laying in it.

Also, being that the world is now in a "Green" kick, I find that using sustainable materials such as the wood used in this coffin is more "with the times". This coffin is like the Prius of coffins, sans the smug.

So, I gave this coffin 5 stars, and to all of my deceased homies, would highly recommend giving it a shot. It might be a bit tough to assemble yourself when your hands rotted away almost a century ago, but it's not that bad.

There are plenty of other coffins I wouldn't be caught dead in, but this one more than does the trick. I wouldn't give this coffin up over my dead body.

My in-laws are visiting soon, and they told me this might be their last visit since they're getting up in years. When I saw this on the Friday Sale, I thought, "What the heck! This might make a nice final family project!". I have two on the way now, and since I'm an avid woodworker, I look forward to putting some extra special touches on the coffin. I think they'll be impressed, and if nothing else, surprised at my thoughtfulness. What's better than homemade birthday cake? How about a homemade coffin?

I received this coffin as a gift for my birthday. Very well made. Few if any knots in the wood which would weaken the planks. My husband did warn me to drop a few pounds or there may be a problem when the pallbearers lifted the casket. I was a little confused as to why this would matter now since I am not planning on using it in the near future. My husband gave a unintelligible response.

The surface decoupages well and can be finished in a color of your choice.

I decided to buy this kit looking to cut some corners on a soap box derby car. I just added some radio flyer wheels and a cone on the nose and this thing FLIES. I decided when I do pass I will just have the wife and/or kids just bury me in the soap box car. Of course, I might just buy another and leave the kit in the basement so when I pass I can give my family one final project to work together on for daddy. No workie, No will money. The rope handles do smell like kerosene and typically leave rope burns, but these do fit in shallow graves nicely. HIGHLY recommended.

Do you know a zombie who's just tired of fighting his way out of a conventional coffin each night, when it's time to feed on the entrails of the living?

Then here's the perfect gift. There are no metal parts, so it's easy to bust out of, plus it's all wood construction promotes decay for that goulish look that zombies love!

Note: It's also a great starter coffin for budget conscious vampires!

I want to thank the makers for this great value! My mother in law spent way too many years complaining about everything and I know that since Heaven is perfect and wont give her much fodder, (that is assuming she went there) this coffin will give her an eternity of material to complain about! Gotta love that!!

I am surprised and disappointed that gift wrapping is not available for this item. If you are planning to give it as a gift, you may have to think carefully on your options for an artful and festive presentation. Possibly small holes drilled in the top (not all the way through naturally as that could uh, compromise, the contents over time) with lit sparklers inserted into those holes would meet the need.

This coffin is quite a "value" (cough, cough). To my relatives, I would say, really, now-- Pine? You buried me in PINE? As your dearly departed, don't I deserve something better-- like rainforest-endangered Mahogany, or at the very least, the newest 'sustainable' wood, Polywood? I knew I should have left you hosers out of my will. Seriously-- you could have at least sprung for Walnut. Then again, I suppose that would have required you to have a JOB to pay for it.

All in all, I appreciate the "homemade" feel-- just like your crappy macaroni-glued-to-plate monstrosities you continued to provide me with up until your 30s for my birthday every year. I really do appreciate the thought and the 'metal-free' environment you entombed me in. Maybe I should have skipped paying for your braces, so you could understand the finer uses of metal. I'm six feet under the ground with nothing between me and the centipedes other than pine. Knotted, lightweight, barely-varnished pine, with rope handles. Great.

As a final word, thank you, dear progeny for continuing to hold steady the same level of excellence you have failed to deliver your entire lives. This final HGTV-project-gone-wrong is an incredibly apropos way to celebrate the end of my relationship with you. Visiting my headstone-- being made of macaroni, it will be eaten soon enough.

What drew me to this coffin was the ease of construction. Let's face it, when you or a Loved One are in the market for a casket, there is a time consideration.

You can buy this well-priced box in advance, store it in the shed, and when the Time Arrives for its use, just slide the pieces together with wood glue, and presto! A coffin fit for a king, no clutter, and without the worries of finding a freezer big enough to hold the Loved One until you were done nailing it together.

One additional thought - Hefty Bags make a great coffin liner (if there's any "ooze factor") if you and the Bereaved are seeking a quickie wake before the Loved One's internment.

And even better, Amazon chose this coffin as a Friday Sale special! What more could you want in the way of a Death Special?

Trust Amazon to find the items that make life - and death! - easier!

Sooner or later, you are gonna need one of these! (unless you get cremated) This is the one product that Amazon sells that absolutely everyone is dying to get.

Although, at 6'7" my family will have to cut off my feet or head so I fit. If they have an open casket wake, I hope they leave my head attached!

Another nice thing is... On the off chance they have to exhume you to do a postmortem to figure out how you were murdered, The pine box (no metal)should crumble quickly leaving the bugs and worms to do their thing, leaving a nice clean set of bones without all the slimy smelly guts and skin to deal with.

What a fun project too! It will give your Loved ones something to do as a family together. A nice project to keep their minds off the bickering that is to come over your will.

I hope they stain mine a rich Burgundy, or maybe use some "Thompson Wood Sealer" to protect it. (they say it lasts for years)

Anyway, get yours NOW while they are ON SALE. You SAVE 46% or $[...]bucks. That will go a long way to pay the preacher to say a few words!

Of course, what do you care? You'll be dead anyway...

-Mark