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MRS. BEAST Kindle Edition

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Length: 178 pages Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled

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Product Details

  • File Size: 698 KB
  • Print Length: 178 pages
  • Publisher: Stay Thirsty Press - a Division of Stay Thirsty Media, Inc. (March 22, 2009)
  • Publication Date: March 22, 2009
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B001YQF59K
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #688,429 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Biography

Pamela Ditchoff lives in Liverpool, Nova Scotia.

Career

In the mid-1980's, Ditchoff worked at WFSL-TV47 in Lansing, Michigan as head copywriter/creative consultant and then as a Graduate Teaching Assistant at Michigan State University. During this period, her early fiction and poetry was published in various literary magazines.[1].

Ditchoff's first book, Poetry: One, Two, Three, was published by Interact Press, an educational publisher, in 1989, as a guide for teaching poetry in the classroom.[2]

In 1993, Ditchoff was recognized in Who's Who in Writers, Editors & Poets: United States & Canada, 1992-1993[3] for her significant literary contributions.

Ditchoff's first novel,The Mirror of Monsters and Prodigies[4], Coffee House Press, 1995, was a semi-fictional oral history of dwarves, giants, conjoined twins, bearded women, and other special people. The book was featured in a segment on NPR's All Things Considered[5].

In 2003, Ditchoff's second novel, Seven Days & Seven Sins, was published by Shaye Areheart Books at Random House. Labeled a modern-day Our Town[6], the novel explored the subtle tragedies and the hope for redemption tucked deep inside every house in an average suburban neighborhood in Lansing, Michigan.[7]

Ditchoff moved to Liverpool in 2006 and completed her third novel, Mrs. Beast, about the lives of the Grimm's Fairy Tales princesses after they said "I Do". Stewart O'Nan, author of Snow Angels, said: "Mrs. Beast riffs on the story of Beauty and the Beast in a funky, contemporary way, much like Anne Sexton's Transformations took on the fairy tale, or John Gardner in his children's books. Pamela is a writer of great talent, ambition, and accomplishment."[8]

Mrs. Beast was published by Stay Thirsty Press, a division of Stay Thirsty Media, Inc., in March 2009, first as an eBook on the Amazon Kindle Platform for the Kindle, the iPhone and the iPod touch.

In September, 2010, Stay Thirsty Press published Ditchoff's sequel to Mrs. Beast, Princess Beast.

The Book Of Leaves was pubished in May, 2012 by Amazon's Create Space.

Works
Novels
* The Book Of Leaves, May, 2012
* Princess Beast, Stay Thirsty Press, 2010.
* Mrs. Beast, Stay Thirsty Press, 2009. ASIN: B001YQF59K [1]
* Seven Days & Seven Sins, Shaye Areheart Books, Random House, 2003.
ISBN 978-0609609798 [2]
* The Mirror of Monsters and Prodigies, Coffee House Press, 1995.
ISBN 978-1566890359 [3]

Non-fiction

* Lexigram Learns America's Capitals, Interact Press, 1992
* Poetry: One, Two, Three, Interact Press, 1989

Poetry and short fiction

* Lakeside Park Concert, Gargoyle #48, 2005[9]
* Fourteen in I Am Becoming The Woman I Wanted, Papier-Mache Press, 1994
* Concert in the Bread Loaf Barn, Whose Woods These Are, David Bain ed.,
Ecco Press, 1993.[10]
* This Year's Venison in Vital Lines: Contemporary Fiction About Medicine,
Jon Mukand, MD ed., St. Martin's Press, 1990.

Awards

* Walter Dakin Fellow, Sewanee Writers' Conference, 1998.
* Who's Who in Writers, Editors & Poets: United States & Canada,
1992-1993.[11]
* John Ciardi Scholar, Bread Loaf Writers' Conference, 1991.[12]
* Winner, Chicago Review[13]Award in Fiction, 1991.
* Michigan Addy Award for Excellence as producer/director of Artpeace, 1984.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

54 of 58 people found the following review helpful By Montmorency on January 3, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
Fairy tale retellings aren't new to me. Most of them are okay rather than great, but I still like to see where the authors go with them. Mrs. Beast is not something I'd ever recommend to anybody. There's nothing very wrong with the actual writing aside from a few misused words and abused apostrophes. Beauty's hair clacks together, which made me think she was Pinocchio's girlfriend for a moment. I took German for a semester, which is enough to know "Kalbskopf" is probably not calf's lungs. Oh, well. Those things are forgivable.

There were parts I couldn't forgive. There's a part early on that mentions Beauty got it on with Beast before he turned into a human. Fortunately, no details are provided, except for the sperm comparison. The author thought we should know the color and texture of Prince Runyon's semen vs. the wonderful ejaculate of Beast. Apparently, Beast's was pine-scented. (Yeah, I didn't make that up. I imagined Beast chasing Beauty around with a tree-shaped car freshener dangling from his...ahem, I'll stop there.)

There's a fairy godmother character whose every appearance heralds a litany of brand names, like Cuisinart, Milk Bones, and Versace. I don't know what the point of it was. The whole story is trapped between modern and old-fashioned, where people ride horses yet refer to tri-planes. There are too many useless characters, like the dwarves and their wives. Did we need to know what all seven wives were wearing in one paragraph? Maybe it's important later in the story. Perhaps someone who finished the book can let us know. I only got halfway in, and that was due to sheer determination and perversity.

The author equates beauty with stupidity. The characters don't connect with each other in a real way.
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful By MamaSylvia on March 5, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
Beauty's Beast became a callous, unloving fop when he lost his beast form, and Beauty sets out on a quest to turn him back into the Beast she loved.

While the story idea itself wasn't bad, the execution was awful. Ditchoff mixes tenses and flashbacks without regard to the poor reader trying to follow the storyline. She confuses words, such as "bridal path" for "bridle path" - both useful but NOT interchangeable. When a couple of dwarves come to Beauty's aid and accidentally uncover her "ta-tas," I couldn't take any more.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful By LaLectora on May 9, 2010
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I loved the first chapters and had a good laugh. I specially liked the enchantress behind the scenes and her self made mutt; and admired the courage of Beauty and her quest to get her loving Beast back after finding the grass is always greener in the human side. Her early misfortunes and encounters with other famous story book beautie were original and funny, but alas! the enjoyment soon faded soon turning into a noir overload. I like dark humor, satire, noir etc. but in moderation. One by one, the beauties that Beauty encountered, from Snow White, to Cinderella, and without an exception they were all damaged and incapable of being nurturing, loving, caring,and unable to have a good relationship. Besides their beauty, they were endowed with few reedeming qualities and doomed forever after.. Beauties be aware, there is not a happy ending unless you are NOT!!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Athene Five on June 3, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Mrs. Beast, or the Beauty who won the heart of the Beast, finds that being wed to her now transformed Prince is no fairy tale. He's a selfish, narcissistic airhead who learned nothing from his beastly experience. Beauty sets out to find a way to restore him to his physically ugly, but inwardly noble incarnation. And here is where the story begins to lose me- Beauty can't accept that her princely husband is flighty and imperfectly obnoxious, but happy being himself. She wants to change him to suit herself. Thus the expectant Beauty begins her journey to reclaim her own happiness at the expense of his. Along the way she meets about every famous fairy tale beauty there is, each miserably unhappy and deluded with her reality, and usually making everyone around her miserable, too. Yes, beauty is such a burden. After a while the shrill bleating of these empty souls overwhelms whatever point the author was making. I read this as a free download and would recommend waiting it is free again if you're tempted to read it.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By SaucyKatLady on November 6, 2010
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Mrs. Beast is currently available via Kindle on Amazon. I purchased it since Beauty and the Beast was my all time favorite fairy-tale (thanks Disney). Truely this book is not a happily-ever-after musical. In fact its rather Grimm and disturbing. It has a similar feel of Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (Wicked Years) by Gergory Maguire. I admit Mr. Maguire is one of my least favorite authors but can twist a dirty tale. Ms. Ditchoff is a bit different. She is not afraid to make her readers blush. She has Beauty speak of her sexual encounters with the Beast and how she would wished he never became human. Therefore seeks out the witch to turn her prince back into the Beast.
This book is not for the Teens of the Twilight Saga. Ms. Ditchoff is a Professor and writes and educational and questioning tale of the Grimm fairy tales. I can not say I loved this book. I think bringing Zoophilia into the story tainted it but I that subject just grosses me out.

So why should you read this book? Well it has an interesting take on fairy tales and what they represented to the people who created them. Some of the psychology surprised me. It asks the questions Disney painted over. What really happens after happily-ever-after? Can a prince really change his lifestyle after he is turned into a Beast? and What is the price beauty pays for beautiful people?

I must say this book is intriguing. I would like to meet the author and if ever partake in her classes. She must be something. I might regret it but I am strongly considering reading the sequel PRINCESS BEAST.

Buzz Worthy? Very Much So but not for the reasons i usually read books or my favorite fairy tale

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