I liked the storyline. It's interesting, with twists in the plot that kept me interested. However, I found the dialogue a bit stilted. I've never heard two people use the phrase "like hell" or "as hell" even half as much as the two main characters in the story. Also, Matt, the narrator, gets a little too lofty and philosophical. It can be argued that his life-changing event gives him the right to wax philosophical, but I found it far too introspective and touchy-feely for the character. I just didn't buy it.
Also, the two main characters spend a lot of time licking their lips. Seriously. Once I realized that the author kept thowing in there that someone licked their lips before speaking, or while they were thinking, or whatever, it started to drive me crazy. I don't think any one person licks their lips THAT much. Because the author used it so often (and over and over and over and over....), I had a hard time putting it in context. Were they nervous? Hungry? Pensive? Needing Chapstick? What the heck was the author trying to say with that?
Also, there were minor things that bugged me a bit. One of the characters put a key in the lock and tried to turn it. The very next sentence has him inside the house, so I'd say he more than just tried to turn the key. I think the way it was written implies that the key wouldn't turn or the lock wouldn't budge or something to that effect. Why wouldn't the author just say he turned the key?
There are also a few incorrect words and typos in the book. Not a big deal, but when compounded with the other style and language issues, it becomes clear that the author is in DIRE need of a decent editor. There's no shame in that - most writers can't self edit... I beg of you!! Get an editor!! I love the story but it really could use some work.