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35 of 38 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon January 21, 2014
I hesitated to watch MACHETE KILLS. How could possibly equal the first? MACHETE was like a silver bullet of pure, unadulterated fun. Gore, humor, B-grade silliness, and big-name celebs hamming it up and having a blast. What could MACHETE KILLS offer to equal that, let alone top it?

Answer: more stars. More silliness. A plot as ludicrous as you could possibly imagine. Our titular antihero is recruited by the President of the United States (up-and-comer Carlos Estevez, who looks strangely familiar). It seems there's a revolutionary down in Mexico (the delightful Demian Bichir) with a split-personality; one of those personalities has a missile aimed at Washington, D.C., wired to go off if he dies. Machete kidnaps the madman, only to find out he's the pawn in a much larger game, being played by a much more sinister madman, armed with space-age technology and dreams of a newer, better, bloodier world.

Danny Trejo and Robert Rodriguez always make a bloody good pair. We've got a plethora of celebrity cameos and supporting roles to entertain you for a couple hours: Amber Heard, Alexa Vega, Sofia Vergara, Antonio Banderas, Walter Goggins, Lady Gaga, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Vanessa Hudgens, William Sadler, Tom Savini, Michele Rodriguez, and Jessica Alba. Sound fun? How about Mel Gibson as a scene-stealing, future-seeing, wisecracking super villain?

MACHETE KILLS isn't for everyone. It's for people who enjoyed the first MACHETE film, and who can't wait to see a film entitled MACHETE KILLS AGAIN...IN SPACE. It's bloody, it's funny, it's epic Grindhouse cinema with a big budget and big names. A-list stars cutting loose and having a little fun for once. If you like your films fun and carefree...or if you're tired of taking yourself seriously and just want a little darn fun in your life...MACHETE KILLS is the perfect film for you.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
on February 10, 2014
This is one hell of a sequel and one manic rollercoaster ride into mayhem and crazy over the top mindless slaughter and fun, fun, fun!!!! The crazy badass Mexican is back for his biggest and best mission yet, the sequel takes the franchise to higher levels of madness with a great over the top story, a fantastic cast of talent all of which are brilliant in their roles, Mel Gibson was a great baddie, Lady Gaga was amazing, and Charlie Sheen (Carlos Estevez) is brilliant, as is everyone really, this has everything you want from blood and guts to cool gadgets and hot women, its funny fresh and so entertaining!! The movies ending is out of this world literally with a massive set up for the third movie in the franchise Machete kills again.. in space!! The film features a few funny parodies too such as star wars, the machete kills again in space trailer is so hilarious and over the top I personally cant wait and pray to god it gets made!!!! This is so easily one of the best movies of this year by miles, a must see at any cost!! Stay until after the credits too!
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44 of 56 people found the following review helpful
TOP 1000 REVIEWERon October 10, 2013
Another audacious chapter in Robert Rodriquez's ridiculous, profane, gory franchise. Make no mistake, this R-rated blood-splattered slaughterfest had us hooting with laughter from the first "Coming Attractions." This is about Mexican drug cartels, double agents, the CIA and the President of the United States. Oh...and one muy feo hombre who has done it all. (Watch this ugly man's eyes when they hang him!)

These folks clearly were having a blast:
* Danny Trejo ("Machete") The indestructible Machete "don't text!"
* Jessica Alba ("Sin City") Sartana is there when he needs her.
* Michelle Rodriguez ("Fast & Furious") Luz is still running a taco stand.
* Amber Heard ("The Rum Diary") is Miss San Antonio.
* Sofia Vergara (Lots of TV) is Desdemona, a madam to die for.
* Mel Gibson ("Tim") Luz sees the end of the world and doesn't like it.
* Alexa Vega ("Spy Kids") is KillJoy; her name says it all.
* Demian Bichir ("The Heat") is Mendez, BOTH of them!
* Walt Goggins ("Justified") is La Camaleón 1
* Cuba Gooding Jr ("Don Jon") is La Camaleón 2
* Lady Gaga (some TV) is La Camaleón 3
* Antonio Banderas ("Desperado") is La Camaleón 4 (great chuntaros!)
* Carlos Estevez aka Charlie Sheen ("Anger Management") Mr. President needs help from our hero.

There is no way to justify the glee with which our screening audience greeted each politically incorrect, grisly scene. Action piled upon action, no nudity, lots of fisticuffs and gunfire, but Machete's weapon of choice? Yup, you guessed it...a machete. All that blowie uppie stuff is still for sissies!

I've asked Amazon to notify me when the DVD is available.
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon January 23, 2014
It isn't a comedy. It's an absurd over the top romp. Imagine if a crazy person got to make a movie and they had an all star cast and a giant pot of money with no oversight. This is that movie. It's fun, well shot, well acted, and completely irrational.

I really hope they clean up the cliff-hanger of an ending with a third movie.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on January 25, 2014
This movie like the previous Machete movie was awesome. Hollywood stars come out of the woodwork and play fun characters; it was of course great seeing Charlie Sheen on the big screen again.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on January 9, 2014
Let's get this out of the way first. The first Machete was originally a fake trailer attached to Grindhouse, and it was so immensely popular that Rodriguez decided to appease the fans and make a movie out of it. That movie worked out much better than it should have, and instantly obtained guilty pleasure status. With that being said, this sequel offers another ridiculous plot, even more over the top violence, and a better supporting cast than the original(I'm looking at you Carlos Estevez,)which makes this "B" movie immensely fun to watch. If you were a fan of the first, or just like dumb action movies in general, then you shouldn't be disappointed with what Machete Kills has to offer. Turn your brain off at the door, grab a few beers, and enjoy!!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on March 23, 2014
Hokey action/comedy with loads of gratuitous violence. Rodriguez' trademark "anything goes" film making style is really showcased here (grindhouse style all the way). Danny Trejo's character is pure screenwriter/directorial indulgence the whole way. Colorful characters all over the place, and the pace is always breakneck. Michelle Rodriguez is, as usual, her cool badass self, and Mel Gibson even does okay as the villain. As an epic film, all bets are off, but as a wild, fun, purely entertaining ride, Machete Kills will not disappoint.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on January 20, 2014
This latest installment is practically a spoof of itself. The opening scene of coming attractions had me laughing. In this installment Machete (Danny Trejo) goes to Mexico, gets a guy, brings, him back, gets killed, comes back to life, and saves the world. That is pretty much it. The film makes fun of society, especially beauty pageants. Charlie Sheen as president? The film has major league stars lining up to take part of the fun.

This is perhaps the quirkiest in the series, taking the franchise in a new direction. There are flashbacks to a previous film, but knowledge of past films are not necessary, its a grindhouse. We watch it for hot girls with guns talking tough, heads getting cut off, and the explosions.

Great with popcorn.

Parental Guide: F-bombs. No nudity. 3D sex scene with Amber Heard.
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13 of 17 people found the following review helpful
on October 14, 2013
You need to watch the original Machete to to fully appreciate this new Machete kills. Machete continues with the plot in Kills right off the bat. Machete doesn't tweet yet but he sure still knows how to knock um dead.
This is the ultimate flick for guys with some steamy scenes thrown in for the chicks.
I can see that the sequel to Machete Kills is going to be out of this world. How can it get any better than this.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on March 21, 2014
Funny and action packed.People who hate this movie either do not understand it is an homage to B movie action flicks or are dead inside
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