Most helpful critical review
27 of 30 people found the following review helpful
Too many grammar mistakes
on November 14, 2012
There are a few grammar errors ('to' vs. 'too')
but the big problem is run-on sentences such as:
The birds weren't singing, in fact, he didn't even see any.
Just then, he spotted Maebelle, he ran towards her as fast as he could yelling all the way.
and mixed tense
Maebelle stood watching Willy and suddenly realizing that the sky was not itself and decided to move closer to cover.
I found it very awkward to read to my son. The story is ok, and with a good proof read and cleanup, I'd probably give it 3/4 stars.