Customer Reviews

The Magic Touch : A Candid Look at the Jewish Approach to Relationships

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is a practical and sensitive book, and easy to read in a few hours.

As a father of five unmarried daughters, I am buying a copy for each of them. While the book approaches the topic of touching between the unmarried couples from an Orthodox Jewish perspective, the book is after all about shomer negiah. The basic principle is real and true, whether you view life from a religious perspective or a secular viewpoint. And the basic principle is this -- whether you are Jewish, secular, or Christian -- that men and women who are not relatives should be extremely cautious about expressing affection for one another through touch. This is not prudishness, it is solid practical advice that goes to heart of the human nature.

Our current secular culture, of course, has led most of us to buy into a different approach which even justifies couples living together before marriage, or dating practices that lay the foundation for irresponsible no-fault behavior, particularly on the part of men, which then can lead to no-fault divorces and much pain for both men and women. This book approaches the issue head on by showing that an ancient approach to a current obsession has much wisdom for us today. Actually, I am not doing justice to the book. The author does a fantastic job in every respect, with much humor and plenty of real life examples. The author is also the mother of seven children, a Yale graduate, and an Orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem.

Granted, by today's standards, the author is being very radical. But today's standards have failed for all pratical purposes. I keep using the word "practical" because, in my opinion, the author is very down to earth, and everything that is printed on the book cover, "funny, entertaining and enlightening," is verified in the reading.

One last thing. Men should read this book in particular because there is so much about the female nature that we are totally uninformed about. If you have daughters, you can't go wrong with this book, because you naturally want to know how to educate your daughter for the best, and for success. She may think you are crazy and old fashioned, but, as a woman, she will not be able to resist the truth that this book contains. At least that's the hope I have for my daughters.

I loved this book. I read it in an afternoon (A Shabbas afternoon) There are no recitations of laws, no dogma, no dire warnings about the harm non-observance does to the Jewish people. Just a thoughtful, literate and very readable listing and description of the benefits of negiah and stories of people who've struggled with it. Did I mention that I love this book?

This book really explains the value of being Shomer negiah (not touching) in relationships. The author shows how the Torah understands the problems of being hurt in relationships and provides us with practical solutions to avoid such pain. This book is suitable for everyone,but especially observant Jews who have maybe stopped just short of being Shomer Negiah.

Gila Manolson's intelligent, sensitive, and humorous spirit is very well captured in her book. She takes a subject which pushes secular humanity's every button and makes it both highly pallatable and touching. It reintroduces values pertaining to relationships which are often pushed aside and forgotten in a world in which both objects and people are treated as disposable commodities. This book is for anyone seeking greater meaning in relationships by protecting that which is sacred within all of us. While written from a strongly Jewish perspective, this work is most appopriate for all teenagers, young adults and others searching for fulfillment through relationship. Bravo, Mrs. Manolson!

"Contains many insights and offers advice on a complicated topic...A richly anecdotal how-to book that really works."

This book has almost single handedly brainwashed an entire generation of Jewish youngsters into a neurotic obsession with sexual purity. Chanting a mantra of some psuedo-principle, existing nowhere (even formally) within classic Jewish sources, but being, rather, the product of a recent hysterical reaction to a world with complex evolvoving values, this book attempts to indoctrinate youth with a simplistic mind-numbing message that is to be their guide to salvation: No Touching! Only it is meant literally (no handshakes, no pats on the back - nothing)! Thus, scores of Jewish youth go out into the world, honestly believing that God's wrath is poured out upon those who exhibit love and affection. The tragedy of it all is that there is nothing in Jewish sources that supports this extreme position. But Ms. Manolson goes about all this with a coy strategy: pop-psychology. With a bunch of ridiculous stories about romantic moments at the super-market cash register, Manolson instills pangs of guilt into the hearts and minds of her readers for finding anything remotely erotic in their worlds. As Ms. Manolson would have it, her empirical findings being left to the imagination to conjure, such expressions destroy future relationships and family life. Funny that no competent therapists advocate anything remotely similar.
Parents love this book, because they think that it saves their children from the dangers of the 'street'. Little do these irresponsible parents realize that they are condemming their kids to a grim and grey cleibate youth. These parents, who fondly remember their first kiss as teenagers, send their kids out into the world packed with a sickly obsession about their sex ethics, gauging their devotion based on the most superficial and harmful concepts.
This book is as dangerous as its innocuous appearance!