Magical Thinking: True Stories [Hardcover]

Augusten Burroughs (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 5, 2004

From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes Augusten Burroughs's most eagerly anticipated collection yet: true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention.

It begins with a Tang Instant-Breakfast Drink television commercial:

"Yes, you, Augusten. You were great. We want you." I can now trace my manic adult tendencies to this moment. It was the first time I felt deeply thrilled about something just a fraction of an instant after being completely crushed. I believe those three words "We want you" were enough to cause my brain to rewire itself, and from then on, I would require more than other people....- from Magical Thinking's "Commercial Break"

A contest of wills with a deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. A different kind of "roof work." Dating an undertaker who shows up in a minivan. This is the fabric of Augusten Burroughs's life: a collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate, stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. With Magical Thinking, Augusten Burroughs goes where other memoirists fear to tread.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

It’s best to know this from the start: Augusten Burroughs is mean. Augusten Burroughs is also outrageously X-rated. If you can get past those two things, Burroughs might just be the most refreshing voice in American books today, and his collection of acerbic essays will have you laughing out loud even while cringing in your seat. Whether he is stepping on the fingers of little children or giving you the blow-by-blow on a very unholy act, Burroughs manages to do it in a way that fills conflicted fans with both horror and glee.

Spanning from the surprisingly Machiavellian portrayal of his role in a Tang commercial at age seven to his more recent foray into dog ownership, Burroughs has what seems to be an endless supply of offbeat life experiences. Much like earlier David Sedaris collections (Barrel Fever or Naked), there are occasional fits and starts in the flow of the writing, but ultimately, Magical Thinking is worth reading (and re-reading). If you’re familiar with Burroughs's memoirs, Running with Scissors, and Dry, you may find parts of Magical Thinking repetitive, since these essays bounce around in time between the other two. In fact, in an ideal world, this collection would have come first, as it offers an excellent introduction to Burroughs's fascinating life. --Vicky Griffith

From Publishers Weekly

A psychological term, "magical thinking" describes the belief that one exerts more influence over events than one actually does. Burroughs, who spent childhood days stepping on cracks to see if his mother's back would break, possesses a wealth of magical thought. Like Dry and Running with Scissors, this collection showcases Burroughs's sharp, funny and sometimes brilliant writing. Burroughs views his life through a lens of self-deprecation, and the result is pieces like "My Last First Date," describing the first time he met his current boyfriend. After only a short conversation, he fumbles into joking about his life, to the horror of his date, and realizes, "I must ease people into the facts of me, not deposit large, undigested chunks of my history at their feet. Too much of me is toxic." Fortunately, his companion has a high threshold for toxicity, and most readers will, too. Burroughs's smooth prose, peppered with charming and awkward moments, is occasionally reminiscent of David Sedaris and David Rakoff. But he's no imitator of those essayists. Rather, Burroughs ambles toward insight in a continual state of self-examination and just happens to have peculiar adventures along the way, like drowning a mouse in his bathtub, attending the Barbizon School of Modeling and complaining that the "new gay thing in Manhattan" is adopting babies instead of buying shar-pei puppies.
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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Press (October 5, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312315945
• ISBN-13: 978-0312315948
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (211 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #721,479 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Augusten Burroughs is the author of the autobiographical works "Running with Scissors," "Dry," "Magical Thinking," "Possible Side Effects" and "A Wolf at the Table," all of which were New York Times bestsellers. "Running with Scissors" remained on the New York Times bestseller list for over two consecutive years and was made into a Golden Globe-nominated film starring Annette Bening. His only novel, "Sellevision," is currently in development as a series for NBC. "Dry," Augusten's memoir of his alcoholism and recovery, is being developed by Showtime. In addition, Burroughs is currently creating an original prime-time series for CBS. Augusten's latest book is called "You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas."

Twice named to Entertainment Weekly's list of the funniest people in America, Augusten has also been the subject of a Vanity Fair cover story and a Jeopardy! answer. His books have made guest appearances in two James Patterson novels, one Linkin Park music video, numerous television shows and a porn movie.

Augusten has been a photographer since childhood and many of his images can be seen on his website, www.augusten.com. He lives in New York City.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#79 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs

#88 in Kindle eBooks > Biographies & Memoirs

#79 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs

#88 in Kindle eBooks > Biographies & Memoirs

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 27 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Magically fascinating, despite the fact that he's happy in the countryside December 14, 2005

By Jessica Lux

Format:Hardcover

Having adored the off-beat, self-destructive, endangered life Burroughs wrote about in Running with Scissors and Dry, I was eager to pick up his third memoir. While his path of destruction made for scintillating and darkly comic reading in his first two books, here he writes from a balanced and centered place. He lives in the countryside of Massachusetts with a long-time partner. This is the place in his life were he was finally able to reflect on his earlier experiences and write his first two masterpieces.

Some reviewers seem to think the edge is gone, but I couldn't disagree more. Burroughs is able to make even the mundane fascinating--dealing with a rat in his bathtub, having a neurotic dog who has only ever urinated on NY concrete and can't handle the wide open grassiness of the new home in Massachusetts, dealing with a psychotic cleaning lady, talking to telemarketers, and trying to get his boyfriend to switch moisturizers. Burroughs inhabits a fabulous Magical Thinking world (in which the person believes he exerts more influence over events than he actually has), and he sucks the reader right into the rich and larger-than-life world.

Now that he's stable, I'd love to read more of Burroughs commenting on the ordinary, making it magical.

52 of 61 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Graphic Animal Torture is Comedy? November 12, 2008

By Kate Black

Format:Paperback

Ooookay. I'm glad I checked this one out of the library instead of wasting money on it.

I've previously enjoyed Burroughs' work. (Sellevision, Dry, Running With Scissors.) So I recognized the first chapter, with the admen for Tang coming to Burroughs' school) as something previously published in another book. I feel a little ripped off when I invest money and/or time into consuming the same content in multiple works.

And then came the "Rat/Thing" chapter, in which Burroughs describes torturing a white mouse which was unfortunate enough to find itself in his apartment. As a citydweller, I know unwanted pests spread disease and nibble wiring that causes fires, and I sympathize with the need to exterminate the tiny squatters as necessary. But Burroughs seems to take pleasure in this -- detailing how he sprayed a can of RAID on the mouse, noting how the chemical burns dulled the animal's eyes and made it frantic with pain. He then filled the bathtub it was in with scalding water and, getting creative, started flashing a lightbulb like a strobe light in the mouse's face until it had a seizure and died. Y'know, I didn't think there was a way to make glue traps seem humane, but Augusten Burroughs found one.

This is comedy writing?

I'm disgusted.

60 of 74 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Magical, indeed October 23, 2004

By popjunkie

Format:Hardcover

"Magical Thinking", while autobiographical, is not a chronological memoir like "Running With Scissors" & "Dry." Instead, it is a collection of personal anecdotes in a sort of essay format, which makes for easy reading. Unlike his memoirs, which I found extremely difficult to put down, there are definite starts & stops. When a particular chapter is over, it's over. The next one begins anew. And there is the only criticism that I can level at this collection: had I not read his memoirs, I would have had a really, really difficult time figuring out exactly when the incidents occured. Was he drinking at the time? Was he working in advertising? Is this post-"Dry" or pre-"Dry"? They are all post-"Running With Scissors" (he is an adult), but that's the only thing that's clear. (And therein is probably the root of the issue some have with the "rat-thing": it isn't clear without background knowledge that he was in an altered state and would never perform such an act while sober. It was a symptom of the disease of alcoholism, not an indicator of morality or character. And there, I've spent too much time on the "rat-thing.") This collection is such enjoyable reading - I laughed out loud, a lot, and I also teared up as well. Equal parts comedy & drama, a perfect combination.