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Magical Thinking: True Stories [Paperback]

Augusten Burroughs
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (211 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 15, 2005
From the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry--a contagiously funny, heartwarming, shocking, twisted, and absolutely magical collection. True stories that give voice to the thoughts we all have but dare not mention. It begins with a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink television commercial when Augusten was seven. Then there is the contest of wills with the deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. Dating an undertaker and much more. A collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate and very funny.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

It’s best to know this from the start: Augusten Burroughs is mean. Augusten Burroughs is also outrageously X-rated. If you can get past those two things, Burroughs might just be the most refreshing voice in American books today, and his collection of acerbic essays will have you laughing out loud even while cringing in your seat. Whether he is stepping on the fingers of little children or giving you the blow-by-blow on a very unholy act, Burroughs manages to do it in a way that fills conflicted fans with both horror and glee.

Spanning from the surprisingly Machiavellian portrayal of his role in a Tang commercial at age seven to his more recent foray into dog ownership, Burroughs has what seems to be an endless supply of offbeat life experiences. Much like earlier David Sedaris collections (Barrel Fever or Naked), there are occasional fits and starts in the flow of the writing, but ultimately, Magical Thinking is worth reading (and re-reading). If you’re familiar with Burroughs's memoirs, Running with Scissors, and Dry, you may find parts of Magical Thinking repetitive, since these essays bounce around in time between the other two. In fact, in an ideal world, this collection would have come first, as it offers an excellent introduction to Burroughs's fascinating life. --Vicky Griffith --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

It would be tempting to call these highly personal and uninhibited essays painfully honest, except that Burroughs (Running with Scissors; Dry) is so forthright about his egocentricity that the revelations don't appear to cause him much pain. He approaches his material with a blithe tone that oozes sarcasm and crocodile tears. But the palpable humor of the writing itself endears listeners to him enough that they won't be completely repelled by even Burroughs's ugliest moments (which include his less than gallant reaction to accidentally stepping on a toddler's fingers in a store). His performance is off the cuff, but even when he's at his least humane, he still comes across as all too human. He adopts the same openness that made his previous memoirs—dealing with his bizarre upbringing and battle with addiction—so successful; now, however, he's focusing on less serious subject matter and displaying failings that are more vain. Burroughs excels in his personifications of others, whether portraying a domineering cleaning woman or an overbearing boss. While some may secretly wish for the death of such a boss, though, Burroughs admits openly and proudly that he believes he can will it to happen. That attitude, which is accentuated by his reading, makes this audiobook a true guilty pleasure.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Picador; First Picador Edition edition (September 15, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312315953
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312315955
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (211 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #143,970 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Augusten Burroughs is the author of the autobiographical works "Running with Scissors," "Dry," "Magical Thinking," "Possible Side Effects" and "A Wolf at the Table," all of which were New York Times bestsellers. "Running with Scissors" remained on the New York Times bestseller list for over two consecutive years and was made into a Golden Globe-nominated film starring Annette Bening. His only novel, "Sellevision," is currently in development as a series for NBC. "Dry," Augusten's memoir of his alcoholism and recovery, is being developed by Showtime. In addition, Burroughs is currently creating an original prime-time series for CBS. Augusten's latest book is called "You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas."

Twice named to Entertainment Weekly's list of the funniest people in America, Augusten has also been the subject of a Vanity Fair cover story and a Jeopardy! answer. His books have made guest appearances in two James Patterson novels, one Linkin Park music video, numerous television shows and a porn movie.

Augusten has been a photographer since childhood and many of his images can be seen on his website, www.augusten.com. He lives in New York City.

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Customer Reviews

This was the third Augusten Burroughs book I've read, after Scissors and Dry. Megan B.  |  63 reviewers made a similar statement
It's still an entertaining read, and one I would recommend to anyone. Tyson Perna  |  27 reviewers made a similar statement
Had this chapter not been in there I probably would have given the book 5 stars. M. M. Murray  |  8 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
25 of 27 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Having adored the off-beat, self-destructive, endangered life Burroughs wrote about in Running with Scissors and Dry, I was eager to pick up his third memoir. While his path of destruction made for scintillating and darkly comic reading in his first two books, here he writes from a balanced and centered place. He lives in the countryside of Massachusetts with a long-time partner. This is the place in his life were he was finally able to reflect on his earlier experiences and write his first two masterpieces.

Some reviewers seem to think the edge is gone, but I couldn't disagree more. Burroughs is able to make even the mundane fascinating--dealing with a rat in his bathtub, having a neurotic dog who has only ever urinated on NY concrete and can't handle the wide open grassiness of the new home in Massachusetts, dealing with a psychotic cleaning lady, talking to telemarketers, and trying to get his boyfriend to switch moisturizers. Burroughs inhabits a fabulous Magical Thinking world (in which the person believes he exerts more influence over events than he actually has), and he sucks the reader right into the rich and larger-than-life world.

Now that he's stable, I'd love to read more of Burroughs commenting on the ordinary, making it magical.
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52 of 61 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Graphic Animal Torture is Comedy? November 12, 2008
Format:Paperback
Ooookay. I'm glad I checked this one out of the library instead of wasting money on it.

I've previously enjoyed Burroughs' work. (Sellevision, Dry, Running With Scissors.) So I recognized the first chapter, with the admen for Tang coming to Burroughs' school) as something previously published in another book. I feel a little ripped off when I invest money and/or time into consuming the same content in multiple works.

And then came the "Rat/Thing" chapter, in which Burroughs describes torturing a white mouse which was unfortunate enough to find itself in his apartment. As a citydweller, I know unwanted pests spread disease and nibble wiring that causes fires, and I sympathize with the need to exterminate the tiny squatters as necessary. But Burroughs seems to take pleasure in this -- detailing how he sprayed a can of RAID on the mouse, noting how the chemical burns dulled the animal's eyes and made it frantic with pain. He then filled the bathtub it was in with scalding water and, getting creative, started flashing a lightbulb like a strobe light in the mouse's face until it had a seizure and died. Y'know, I didn't think there was a way to make glue traps seem humane, but Augusten Burroughs found one.

This is comedy writing?

I'm disgusted.
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60 of 74 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Magical, indeed October 23, 2004
Format:Hardcover
"Magical Thinking", while autobiographical, is not a chronological memoir like "Running With Scissors" & "Dry." Instead, it is a collection of personal anecdotes in a sort of essay format, which makes for easy reading. Unlike his memoirs, which I found extremely difficult to put down, there are definite starts & stops. When a particular chapter is over, it's over. The next one begins anew. And there is the only criticism that I can level at this collection: had I not read his memoirs, I would have had a really, really difficult time figuring out exactly when the incidents occured. Was he drinking at the time? Was he working in advertising? Is this post-"Dry" or pre-"Dry"? They are all post-"Running With Scissors" (he is an adult), but that's the only thing that's clear. (And therein is probably the root of the issue some have with the "rat-thing": it isn't clear without background knowledge that he was in an altered state and would never perform such an act while sober. It was a symptom of the disease of alcoholism, not an indicator of morality or character. And there, I've spent too much time on the "rat-thing.") This collection is such enjoyable reading - I laughed out loud, a lot, and I also teared up as well. Equal parts comedy & drama, a perfect combination.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Another great one from Augusten Burroughs!
I've read every single one of his books and find them as funny as they are shocking. Easy to read with great entertainment value. Read more
Published 12 days ago by Tanja Rosenbach
2.0 out of 5 stars I'm glad he's happy, but halfway through his writing goes flat.
I planned to give this 3 stars, 4 for the first half (approximately) and 2 for the second half, but then some of the latter just gets so bad I can't believe this is AB writing. Read more
Published 1 month ago by T. Engle
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good and funny
Love Burroughs. This book is light and a quick easy read. Jumps around his life a bit so you can stop and start and have no confusion. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Stephanie Steele
1.0 out of 5 stars I hated it
I made myself read this since I paid money for it.. Dont waste your time or money! I was relieved when it was done.
Published 2 months ago by Andy Myers
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome
I love this book because I feel like I'm actually part of it. I love these people. I want to know them.
Published 2 months ago by AVERY HAYNES
5.0 out of 5 stars Just what a book should be:
I borrowed this book from my Daughter, and it was my introduction to Augusten. I started reading this book on a very long road trip from Vegas to Reno, and couldn't put it down the... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Erin R
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant and witty book
I am just finishing this book and it's absolutely brilliantly written, witty, and entertaining! I am gifting it to a friend, along
with his full collection of books. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Patricia
5.0 out of 5 stars Augusten Burroughs is one of the best authors out there.
All of Mr. Burroughs' books are amazing, but this one.. I literallly can not put it down. Such a great purchase (: Definitely will be reading this one more in the future.
Published 4 months ago by fjmnb
5.0 out of 5 stars so well written
i'm in recovery and found the stories were brief when they needed to be and got straight to the point . have bought to give as a gift also
Published 4 months ago by kenneth p baker
5.0 out of 5 stars : )
I could not put this book down, it made me laugh, cry and question myself about certain things. The end.
Published 4 months ago by Chantywitch
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