Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military [Hardcover]

Jeffrey McGowan Maj USA (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 8, 2005

A book that will move hearts and open minds, Jeffrey McGowan’s memoir is the first personal account of a gay man’s silent struggle in the don’t-ask-don’t-tell military, from a cadet who rose to the rank of major, left as a decorated Persian Gulf hero, and whose same-sex marriage was the first on the East Coast.

Love of country and personal love combine in this groundbreaking memoir of one gay man’s life in the military—and beyond. In Major Conflict, Queens-born Jeffrey McGowan tells how he enlisted in the army in the late 1980s and served with distinction for ten years. But McGowan had a secret: he was gay. In the don’t-ask-don’t-tell world of the Clinton-era army, being gay meant automatic expulsion. So, at the expense of his personal life and dignity, he hid his sexual identity and continued to serve the army well.

Major Conflict is a moving account of his years in the military, the homophobia he encountered there, and his life afterward. McGowan presents a vivid portrait of his experience as a soldier in the Persian Gulf, where he commanded U.S. troops in Operation Desert Storm, eventually rising to the rank of major. Ultimately, however, he realized that the army held no future for gay men—even closeted ones. Desiring more of a personal life and tired of hiding his true identity, McGowan resigned from the Army he loved in 1998. In February 2004, he married his partner of six years in New Paltz, New York, making front-page news in the New York Times.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A Desert Storm veteran looks back on the years he sacrificed his identity to his career. Growing up in Queens, McGowan always wanted to be a soldier, but he "couldn't be gay because soldiers aren't gay." That rationale tortured him as he enrolled in Fordham University's ROTC program and felt agonizing longing for Greg, a co-worker at a bookstore. When McGowan joined the army in the late 1980s, "the military was like a college football player, pumped up and ripped on steroids, " and he had "somehow managed to stuff the genie that Greg had nearly succeeded in freeing forcefully back into the proverbial bottle of my own denial." (This genie should get overtime for all its play in this memoir.) McGowan served first in Germany; during Desert Storm, he tried to sublimate his crush on a gorgeous fellow officer. But the "don't ask don't tell" policy created an inadvertent pogrom, he says, as sexual conservatives in the service played dirty to smoke out the hidden "perverts." Though McGowan was not implicated, the double-dealing and cowardice of others sickened him, and he retired in 1998. McGowan is not always a graceful writer ("the only anecdote [sic]," he tells us, "for this strain of senseless tragedy that so often infects the world, is love, family"), but his style is familiar and easy, as if he's confiding his experiences to a trusted friend.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

Advance Praise for MAJOR CONFLICT:

“Jeffrey McGowan is a decorated Army officer, a valued leader of men in combat. For those in our society who see gay men only through the eyes of media stereotypes, McGowan’s successful military career may well be a revelation. But the power of this book lies not in the politics of Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell, but rather in the poignant recognition of McGowan’s humanity.”
— Rear Admiral Alan M. Steinman, MD, USPHS (USCG) (Ret.)

“This is essential reading for anyone interested in promoting full access to American society for its gay, lesbian, and bisexual citizens. It is also an absorbing personal account of the life of a gay soldier. All Americans lose when good and talented people like Jeffrey McGowan leave the service they love.”
—Keith H. Kerr, Brigadier General, CSMR (Ret.)

“Jeff McGowan’s story is one we all need to read, and more stories like his are desperately needed. I hope his book is found by gay and lesbian youth feeling isolated and alone so that they know there are other people who’ve gone through what they’re feeling. I hope his book is read by straight America, so that we can better understand what it means for people to have to choose between how they were born and how they want to live, knowing that both are part of who they are.”
—Jason West, mayor, New Paltz, New York
Jeffrey McGowan's courageous personal account of his experience as a gay man serving in the U.S. Army connects two important issues that are front and center in the minds of many Americans. With the political landscape in our country dominated by such issues as war and gay rights, Major Conflict clearly and cogently examines the impact that the confluence of these issues has on an individual's psyche and sense of self. This story of personal conflict, service, and patriotism will help to enlighten the American public and its policy makers.

—U.S. Representative Maurice Hinchey (D-NY)

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Broadway (March 8, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767918991
• ISBN-13: 978-0767918992
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 1.1 x 9.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,028,139 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening about the effects of "don't ask, don't tell" and very heartfelt, July 26, 2005

By 

an Italian in New York - See all my reviews

This review is from: Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military (Hardcover)

This book is a very heartfelt account of the life of one gay US soldier. It spans roughly two decades: it starts with McGowan's time in the ROTC and goes up to his promotion to Major and his choice to leave the army (with a short epilogue on McGowan's life after the military and his marriage in New Paltz).
I think the book portrays very well the enormous difficulties and the psychological tolls that gay soldiers have to go through in order to continue to serve. Part of the McGowan's service was under the so-called "don't ask, don't tell", part of it was under the previous regime. The book led me to conclude that from a practical point of view there is hardly any difference between the "don't ask, don't tell" and the regime in which gay people were simply excluded: both regimes require gay US soldiers not have a life. It is amazing how pervasive the effects of "don't ask, don't tell" are, how intrusive they are in the everyday life of the soldiers. The book exemplifies how gay soldiers are forced by the policy to lie: they are forced to lie to straight soldier and they are forced to lie to one another because they have no way of being sure whether the other is gay. They can't go to gay bars because if they are seen they are discharged. They can't communicate with their partner openly, even via letter, because it is too risky. McGowan's book shows how "don't ask, don't tell" makes it almost impossible for gay US soldiers to have a life.

The book is moving in many parts; I really came to empathize with Major McGowan. I was also surprised by how full of events his life was.

I also want to note that the book is quite well written. The book would benefit from more editing, but the narrative is really compelling and heartfelt.
I read the book twice in a row.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Gulf War and beyond, June 10, 2005

By 

Michael J. Mazza - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military (Hardcover)

"Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military," by Jeffrey McGowan, is the memoir of a U.S. Army officer and Persian Gulf veteran. McGowan covers many parts of his life and career: his childhood in the Jackson Heights neighborhood of New York City, his youthful struggle to come to grips with his sexual identity, his service as an artillery officer, his duty in Germany at the end of the Cold War era, his combat tour in the first Gulf War against Iraq, duty at Fort Bragg, and his life after the army.

Throughout the book McGowan charts his own search for love and sexual fulfillment in the shadow of the U.S. military's policy of discharging openly gay personnel. Particularly noteworthy are his account of a relationship with another soldier, and his description of the military reaction to the start of the Clinton presidency. McGowan vividly describes the impact the military's homosexuality policies have on gay soldiers; he shows how he was often forced to live a double life of lies and evasion. He also recalls the hounding of other soldiers suspected of being gay.

McGowan also reflects on Army tradition and esprit-de-corps, and gives insight into the experience of combat. The book also touches on the same-sex marriage controversy; as the book jacket notes, he and his partner were married in a ceremony in New Paltz, New York in 2004. The book contains some vivid and well-written sections. Particularly moving is his account of his warm and loving relationship with the grandparents who raised him. "Major Conflict" is a compelling story that effectively explores the timely gays-in-the-military issue.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An important book by an eloquent man., April 24, 2005

By 

Tobias B. Wolff - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military (Hardcover)

Jeff McGowan has added an important voice to the national debate over Don't Ask, Don't Tell. "Major Conflict" is both affecting and effective -- an earnest, insightful account of the ethical and emotional compromises that our military demands of gay and lesbian soldiers on a daily basis. It is also a personal memoir of one man's coming of age, first as a citizen and soldier, then as a lover and spouse. The story is well told and, at times, beautiful. I have done extensive scholarly work on Don't Ask, Don't Tell, interviewing scores of gay and lesbian soldiers in the process. McGowan's book ranks among the most powerful of the stories that I have encountered.

We all have a responsibility to understand the impact that our government's irrational and discriminatory policy has upon the gay and lesbian citizens who serve in the defense of our country. Jeff McGowan's book brings us a step closer to that understanding. I recommend it highly.