Customer Reviews

Make Any Divorce Better!: Specific Steps to Make Things Smoother, Faster, Less Painful, and Save You a Lot of Money

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"Make Any Divorce Better" gives a different perspective on divorce than most books currently available. Ed Sherman has a true understanding of the dynamics of divorce, and points out that ending a marriage is more than just a legal action. The "real" divorce involves disentangling yourself and your identity from your spouse (and this is where the real work begins). Luckily, you can avoid some of the emotional landmines that can result in a court battle by reading the helpful tips and strategies in this book.

For example, instead of automatically turning to a lawyer when you first consider divorce, Ed Sherman points out why it's best to analyze your situation and take things slowly. By trying to keep the divorce process as conflict-free as possible, most people are more satisfied with the outcome as compared to those who choose to battle it out in court.

The accompanying CD offers a lot of worksheets to help you gather information, develop a budget, and determine assets and debts. For potential custody battles, there is a childcare tasks worksheet to help show the degrees of parental involvement. You will also find a discharge of attorney form, sample settlement agreements, detailed and simple parenting plan agreements and worksheets, as well as child support guidelines and enforcement links. The post-divorce checklist will help jog your memory concerning of what needs to be taken care of after you get a divorce judgment. What is really nice about this CD is that you will be able to fill out the information and print out the worksheets for later reference.

While it would be nice if every divorce was amicable, "Make and Divorce Better" also give you strategies to help navigate divorce when faced with domestic abuse and high-conflict situations, as well as how to prepare yourself for a legal battle. This is definitely a book that I would recommend.

During divorce, people get caught up in destructive emotions. This book helps keep things in perspective and lays out common sense ways to approach divorce. So good, I sent a copy to my soon-to-be ex.

I read this book before filing for a divorce. It was unbelievably helpful and really gave me great alternatives and strategies for a more amicable situation. While my situation was not as complex as others, I feel as though this book is worth the read for anyone who is contemplating divorce or preparing to file for divorce.

Very good job covering many aspects of divorce including addressing many different scenarios which may fit your situation. Also gives great advice about looking out for yourself (your mental and physical health) and keeping your sanity during these typically unsettling times. Provides very useful insight into the divorce process and if both parties involved follow the advice in this book, they will likely come to a quicker, more amiable conclusion that both can live with while saving thousands of dollars in legal fees. Also, the forms on the included disk are very useful and enlightening. I was able to get a very good estimate of the child support and alimony amounts.

I was very angry about our divorce, one minute wanting to stick it to him, and the other wanting to do anything I could to make this work. But he did not want to get together. This book helped me to put things in perspective, to take the emotion out of it and think more logically. Thank you!!!

he author has been a family law lawyer since 1967 and he is the founder of Nolo Press. In 1971, Sherman wrote the book How to Do Your Own Divorce in California. Clearly, this is a man who knows his stuff.

This is not a book written for lawyers - it's strictly for lay people who want to represent themselves as much as possible in their divorce. In fact, Sherman bashes lawyers and the legal system so frequently and vehemently that it's difficult to believe he is a lawyer.

Take a look at some of these statements:

Problems in a divorce are almost never legal, almost always about personalities and emotions, for which there are absolutely no solutions in court or in a lawyer's office - zip, zero, nothing. In fact, getting involved with lawyers and courts almost always makes things worse instead of better.

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Neither the law nor attorneys who work in the law have tools to help solve divorce problems. In fact, the legal system and the way attorneys work is almost certain to make things worse. The legal system is based on conflict, arguing before a judge in order to win. You don't want more argument, you want less. Arguing doesn't settle anything. The legal route doesn't work, takes too long, costs too much, and leaves the parties wrung out and broke.

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The secret to a successful divorce is to minimize your use of the legal system and of the attorneys who work in it.

Are you starting to get the idea that Sherman doesn't think lawyers are needed in divorces?

Sherman claims that 90% of all divorce can be completed without court battles or high attorney fees. One important thing to keep in mind, according to Sherman, is that the legal system may be necessary in emergencies or if your spouse is an habitual abuser or controller. In may also be necessary to go to a lawyer for limited advice about a certain issue in your divorce.

Sherman runs through five divorce profiles (early, easy, difficult, domestic abuse, and legal battle) and discusses various strategies for each one. He then provides a roadmap of the legal system and discusses ways to have a successful divorce and provides helpful tips for getting through rough emotional times. This is extremely helpful as my experience in handling hundreds of divorce cases is that most clients are stressed, in shock, angry, hurt, and highly emotional.

Sherman then provides guidelines on divorce law. This is where this book, and all general books on divorce, suffers. Unfortunately, no guide written for a national audience can tell you exactly what the law is in your state. In most cases, it's quite difficult for a layperson to figure out what the law is in their state.

Here in Maine, for example, there are child support guidelines that most folks could use on their own to determine appropriate child support (though the forms are far from simple). However, there are no written guidelines at all that help with determining the amount of spousal support that is appropriate - if any at all. In fact, there are many areas of divorce law that unsuspecting people trying to do their own divorce overlook or never recognize. (I often have these people come to see me sometime after their divorce when this ignored issue becomes important.)

Sherman does an admirable job of providing ten concrete steps spouses can take to make their divorce less painful and also avoid expensive court battles. He also makes common sense suggestions on how to win and survive a legal battle when it is unavoidable. In addition, the book contains a CD with worksheets, sample settlement agreements, sample parenting plans and more.

For anyone considering doing a divorce on their own, this book provides lots of helpful information. The only caveat is that divorce law is somewhat different in every state and is often more complex than you might anticipate. I would urge anyone doing a divorce on their own to at least have their paperwork reviewed by a lawyer prior to obtaining a final judgment.