Customer Reviews

Make Love Not Porn: Technology's Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior (TED Books)

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

There were a couple of sections of this book that made me want to throw up. Cindy Gallop's description of what kids of 11, and younger, are reading and watching is horrifying. Most of us really don't want to know what's going on in seedier parts of the hardcore porn web world. But perhaps we should. She argues persuasively that a whole generation is emerging whose sexual habits are being learned from that "porn world". And what gives this book its unique feel, is that she's not really writing from a position of moral judgement. She actually enjoys pornography. But she's observed from her own extensive experience of dating younger men that they're getting their sex education off the web, and it's teaching them some very - very- strange habits.

The book goes into this in much greater depth than her celebrated four-minute TED talk on youtube, and includes searingly honest personal anecdotes - and a series of extremely frank and revealing emails from people who responded to her website. If you can't bear graphic adult language, you should not read this book. But if you have a young kid - or a young lover - you should consider a read. It's compelling, hilarious in places, and it will definitely open your eyes.

Most parents do not want to think about their teenage children having sex. Or viewing sex. Or talking about sex with their peers. But the truth is they do. A lot. What Cindy Gallop has done with this honest, insightful book is expose the fallacy that porn is only for grown-ups and that children will develop their own sexual modus operandi in a natural, organic fashion. They won't. If today's parents are too afraid to discuss sex and porn with their children, they should at least tell them to read this book. It will open their eyes to the fact that they have been fed a series of unreal expectations and beliefs about what constitutes good sex. Cindy's work deserves attention at the highest level. As a reader, I salute her eloquence. As a mom, I thank God for her courage.

I first met Cindy Gallop a couple of years ago when I was interviewing her on the subject of storytelling. In this case it was to do with the rather more (though only, perhaps, a little) polite world of online advertising. Cindy understands how to communicate directly and with humor. With Make Love Not Porn she undresses all the illusions one might have about our own intimate behavior, and what is harder to read (especially to those of us with kids) that of the searching minds of teenagers. We live in a world where anything that can be imagined (or visually created) is but a mouse click away. The porn industry (with all its friends and relations) has a deep reach into the lives of us all. It affects how we think about sex, our own bodies and the bodies of those we interact with. Cindy Gallop addresses all these issues in a very personal and explicit way. This is not for the faint of heart but it will certainly open the eyes. Place alongside "The Sexual Life of Catherine M" by Catherine Millet and you will have two of the most explicit and well-told stories of female/human sexuality.

I've always been a little more into learning about sex since I was a teenager, so naturally I went into the porn business to gain knowledge through experience. I am strictly on the business side, but I can't say that working in porn hasn't affected my personal sex life. After reading this book in which Cindy points out comparisons of real life sex vs. porno sex, I can easily say that I have a new view on sex all together. While I was growing up I didn't know porn was fake until I was actually on a porn set. I am 25 years old and fortunately I didn't have as much easy access to porn or the internet until after I was 18 years old. I can't imagine what my teenage nieces and nephew think real life sex is like, and I'm sure their #1 teacher is the computer and their friends who watch porn on the internet.

I read Cindy's book in one night, finished most of it while at the laundromat. Make Love Not Porn helped me realize that i don't have to be a "porn star" in bed all the time. You must read this book because it is a different form of sex education that you can't get in school, porn, or from your parents. Very enlightening and will change the way you have sex, for the better!

Thank you Cindy Gallop!

I must admit when I finished reading the last page of this book I really wished there was more! I even started to read it again.

I come from a generation where it was a privilege to have a computer and the internet was accessible on a disc. Where the computer was located in the living room and no one had the freedom to look at "adult" content for fear of their parents catching them. I also come from a generation where we were lucky to have a "decent" sex education program. Even though I had learned the "basics" from school I was still left curious about sex, not having open minded parents to talk to I learned everything from friends, books and the pictures on porn boxes while I was working at my first job at a sex shop.

In Cindy Gallop's book, she goes into extensive detail on how our younger generations through lack of proper teaching, are being taught about sex through porn. She explains how it is effecting peoples sex lives, and intimacy in a huge way. She discusses her own personal experiences, and even uses examples of her fans and followers to show the effects it has had in many other people as well. Cindy points out all the myths behind the porn industry and gives you the truth about how REAL PEOPLE HAVE SEX. Sort of like a Myth Busters of Porn!

Her book has really opened my eyes and helped me realize why my partner and I behave in certain ways about sex. I encourage everyone to read it! Young, Old, Virgin or Sex kitten. It really is mind blowing.

Thank you Cindy for this Eye Opening and Fun read!

First, I have to be transparent here: I know Cindy.

I saw her TED talk shortly before I met her several years ago. However, I think the book is a really tight and very clear manifesto of her beliefs on porn. I, myself, am a porn producer, and even before meeting Cindy or learning about her views, I felt that "mainstream" porn was not satisfying my needs. As a lesbian, I wanted to see lesbian porn that showed real chemistry and also reflected a wider range of female beauty. 98% of mainstream lesbian porn is "girl on girl", and, just like the heterosexual cliches that you see, there are similar old stand-bys for lesbian porn. It's frustrating, because lesbians are not all long-haired, fake nailed, giggling girls who use sparkly dildos. Nonetheless, a young person unfamiliar with lesbians might really think that is the way it is. The desire to make the kind of porn that I wanted to buy was really the motivating factor in me leaving the practice of law to become a pornographer.

I have had many, many interactions with men who don't understand how lesbians have sex. When I explain to them that we often don't use dildos or strap-ons, they are very confused, "uh... well, then... how do you do it?"

I would go as far as saying that for many straight men, the "bad lessons" that they have learned from lesbian porn have given them the idea that lesbians aren't "for real", or that they "really just need a guy to give it to them good". Obviously that leads to some very awkward situations.

The book, while focused more on heterosexual porn (which Cindy explains is merely a factor of her own experience and its influence on the book), shows the strong need for a dialog about these issues. Porn and sex in general have become such a pervasive part of our culture, so it makes sense that we should strive to show how we really are and what we really like, rather than relying on a very limited (mostly) male-driven fantasy.

This book will give you a lot to think about when it comes to your own sex life. Cindy's not a sex guru or a doctor, but she's simply bringing to light a very, very important topic affecting the sex lives of millions of people world-wide.

It never ceases to amaze me how little our culture values sex. We neither celebrate it nor defend it. We hide it as if it doesn't happen and we allow it to be demonized, ridiculed and marginalized. Cindy's overall premise (that porn is becoming both the defacto education and the only strong POV regarding sex) and the stories and examples she presents have a strong and important message. There needs to be other voices out there. There needs to be conversations about real sex. There needs to be a counterbalance to the ubiquity of porn. Not that porn is bad, but that porn is only one dimension of sex and there are many others that are not given a stage or a voice. Well done cindy for being a voice i the wilderness. Anyone with children, teenagers or even wanting a healthy and honest sex life, read this book.

I found this Kindle Single dissapointing. It is not really, as it claims, a thoughtful look on how technology is impacting human sexual behavior. And it certainly does not go into any depth about why these changes are occuring. The long essay only states that technology is impacting the sex life of Generation Y. The simplistic thesis is that pornography affects how both genders view sex, and today's pornography is rougher and more available than ever before. It says this over and over again in ways that I found to be repetitive ~ a story from her love life, and then two or three letters to her website. The author goes into depth about the history of her website, as well as a rundown on her TED talk, which may be interesting to some, but does not bring insight to the supposed topic. Her "Make Love Not Porn" website is included in its entirety, although it re.ains free on the web. Essay is designed for Kindle and therefore works perfectly with it.

After reading the (very short) book I felt that I had wasted my time and money with this. It's not that the idea the author has about porn and its influence on the sexual behavior of the young isn't interesting and new. But we can't forget that there's a video available from the author's TED talk. And that's freely available for anyone to view and it was available much before they published this book. So, the real problem with the book is that it basically doesn't add anything new to what she already said in under 5 minutes in her talk.

If you've already seen the video, just skip this book, there's nothing to see here. 90% of the content is just praise for her book he received in numerous e-mail from people telling her how much they relate to her theory and how many times they've experienced just that in bed. The remaining 10% of the book is an introduction and some very brief words from the author, which mostly repeat what she already said in the talk. I don't know who might want to read some 40 pages of hollow praise for a talk at TED and pay 3 dollars for it.

If it was for the book only I'd rate it 1 star. I give it 2 stars because I liked her talk and think it is an interesting "idea worth spreading". But I really don't recommend the book at all.

I learned of this from the TED talk of the same name, and there really isn't anything more here. I'd skip this and watch the TED talk, the talk moves along more quickly and makes all the important points...