Customer Reviews

Make Peace with Anyone: Proven Strategies to End any Conflict, Feud, or Estragement Now

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David Lieberman has written a practical book that gets down to the bottomo of addressing many personal conflicts. He understands that the real issue is Self-esteem. When a person feels his or her self-esteem threatened, conflict emerges. When a person's self-esteem is protected, conflict is lessened or resolved.
The first three chapters, though short, are worth the purchase price of the book. One interesting quotation, typical of the first few chapters, reads as follows: "The barometer that determines how annoyed, frustrated, or angered we become with others in any given situation is based on the degree to which we feel in control of ourselves and our lives. Our respect for ourselves, in short, determines (a) the amount of respect we crave from others and (b) our need to push for control and dominance."

Lieberman offers some very practical advice to help readers address a variety of conflict situations, providing simple but effective illustrations from real life examples.

As a seasoned pastor (over 25 years in the ministry) who has been involved in all sorts of conflict situations, I have deduced a number of principles (explained clearly by Lieberman) over the years the hard way, through the school of hard knocks. Wish this book was around years earlier.

On the negative side, the author makes unrealistic promises in some of the chapter's sub-titles, and even the title of the book is somewhat deceptive, "Make Peace with Anyone." Yet, in the text itself, the author clearly states that some situations have no real solutions. The book would be better if it did not promise complete success in all situations.

I also have a few ethical problems with the book. Lieberman, in some instances, advocates lying. Then, in the last chapter, he claims that the Bible advocates lying to end conflict, an assertion I challenge. Relathionships that cannot espouse truth are not worth maintaining. Addtionally, when one discovers that another has lied, a greater conflict can emerge.

Lieberman also encourages saying nice things about the offended person to a third party so that it gets back around. That just doesn't sit well with me.

On the other hand, people do need to feel listened to and respected, and Lieberman shines in that department. It is great to ask others for advice, and that seems a more legitimate measure to show the offended party that we do indeed respect them (unless we in fact do not!).

He also claims that the Bible teaches Aaron was more popular than Moses because Aaron counseled couples separately when they were having marriage problems (p.108). I have never seen anything even resembling that in Scripture; perhps he confuses the Bible with Talmudic Jewish tradition.

Although Lieberman constantly reinforces his warning not to use these techniques to manipulate others or out of insincere motives, no doubt some will try. But that is not the author's fault: he seems to have a truly humble attitude; those who thusly abuse his advice will find that insincere application of his techniques will backfire. Nobody likes a weasely person.

Despite its flaws, the author has great insights into the realities of human nature. A very helpful book that cuts to the core of the matter.

One of my favorite writers on human behavior, David Lieberman, shares his insight and understanding of conflict in this powerful work. He proposes that conflicts generally follow a basic recipe. The ingredients in the recipe are fear and a perceived loss of respect. If people don't act or react the way we expect then we fear a loss of control. When we fear a loss of control or perceive that there has been a loss of respect then our self-esteem is injured and we follow our first reaction to a loss of self-esteem, we fight back by turning it into anger. If this is the source of the emotional factor in conflict then the solution is to provide the other party with the ability to regain self-respect and at least some sense of control.

How to give this sense of control and self-esteem back to the other party is the focus of the book. Lieberman takes you step by step through many scenarios so that you can learn how to adapt to a situation and proactively make peace with anyone. Whether it is dealing with a long-standing conflict or stopping a problem before it gets out of hand, the book is filled with useful and practical techniques that are sure to dramatically change your relationships with others for the better. A highly recommended read.

Lieberman's books are a cut above he usual self-help stuff. As he's done in his previous books, he offers actual techniques to use. For the most part they are easy to understand and work faster than you'd think.

I didn't have a major issue, but for an ongoing family situtation, it helped us a lot. His style is conversational and engaging and he's pretty fun to read. Overall I highly recommend the book to anyone who is having a conflict or is estranged or wants to be forgiven for something. A good book to heep around the house or in the office.

I bought this book so I might get some tips on repairing the damage recently done to a very important relationship. It was just one of many books I bought in a self-help book buying spree, an attempt to give me insight into serious conflict resolution. (The relationship I am speaking of is a romantic one, too.) I thought I'd probably end up returning this book, because I was pretty sure Old Liebby couldn't tell me anything new. How wrong I was! Listen, if you are serious about making amends, get your humility in order and read this book. Lieberman makes it clear that your motives for resolving the conflict must be good (as in, NOT manipulative and selfish), which impressed me. He gives point by point powerful psychological techniques for resolving interpersonal problems that ultimately are not only deeply loving, but empowering, as well! I love this guy--he's doing a great service to humankind by presenting his material in such a careful, thoughtful way. Cheers to you, Liebby.

He hits the right note with this one. It easy to relate to and includes scripts to illustrate. His conversational style is just right. I used the method a few times myself and it does get me better responses. I highly recommend this book to anyone, not just those in need to resolve conflicts. The book isn't written to help you solve conflicts, instead it helps you keep a cool head and word your words better. Keep it as a reference in your house or office and look it up whenever you need it. Or pass it on to a friend, you'll be glad you did, when confrontation arises.

This book takes the most unusual approach in that you do more than admit your fault to make peace. You come to a total understanding of who and why and announce this truth to the persons you which to make peace. The opposite is also researched to identify the other persons reasoning. Much more but these are the points that captured me. This is a good book and not a instrument to make money but to make peace. I wish to recommend the greatest peacemaking book I have ever read and many agree with me, SB 1 or God by Maddox

Wow! This author really knows how to get to the heart of many situations. I think the content delivers the title. I especially love how Lieberman's examples brought me closer to results. I used this book at work several times and liked the ease of applying the techniques. Well done!

This is an easy to read book plenty of psychological tips and advices that will help you got a better life. There are no tricks here, just proved techniques which being totally honest with yourself they will help you solve almost any personal, familiar or business problem. You will learn a very important think after reading this book: self esteem and respect is the solid base you must have and promote in any relationship you could have. Treat others like you want to be treated to; this is the big lesson Lieberman wants teach to us.

Even if you are not looking to make peace with anyone, this book contains priceless information on understanding your own behavior and others.

Are you experiencing conflict in your life or know people who are estranged? Do you have people in your life who seem to constantly be fighting every time they are put in the same room together? Do you feel like you are someone's psychological punching bag?

David J. Lieberman has some excellent ideas for conflict resolution. Whether you want to solve your own problems or help other people solve theirs, David J. Liberman's advice is some of the best I've ever read.

He has an incredibly deep understanding of why conflict occurs. Many people are simply afraid or are hindered by a low self-esteem. This book is really about how to be a wise person! To know what to say and when to say it is essential to your success. Throughout the book there are real-life examples to show you how to put the principles in practice.

I personally found this book to be especially insightful. I found myself reading passages over and over again because the information was so shockingly true. It might at first seem threatening to make yourself vulnerable but in actuality you are avoiding being defensive. When you show humility and ask for forgiveness you are actually the more powerful player in the game of human interactions.

The first half of this book seems to center on how to handle relationships you have with various people. The second half seems to focus on how you can be a mediator to bring peace to other people's lives. There is a chapter on handling people who are mentally ill but I thought the chapter was way too short and didn't cover some relevant topics like what to do when someone in your life is very depressed and angry.

This is a book I can recommend to almost everyone, however it might be dangerous in the hands of a manipulative person.

~The Rebecca Review