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How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less [Kindle Edition]

Nicholas Boothman
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (132 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Whether selling, managing, negotiating, planning, collaborating, pitching, instructing-or on your knees with a marriage proposal-the secret of success is based on connecting with other people. Now that connection is infinitely easier to make through Nicholas Boothman's program of rapport by design.

How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less is the work of a master of Neuro-Linguistic Programming whose career is teaching corporations and groups the secrets of successful face-to-face communication. Aimed at establishing rapport-that stage between meeting and communicating-How to Make People Like You focuses on the concept of synchrony. It shows how to synchronize attitude, synchronize body language, and synchronize voice tone so that you instantly and imperceptibly become someone the other person likes. Reinforcing these easy-to-learn skills is knowing how to read the other person's sensory preferences-most of us are visual, some are kinesthetic, and a minority are auditory. So when you say "I see what you mean" to a visual person, you're really speaking his language. Along the way the book covers attitude, nervousness, words that open a conversation and words that shut it down, compliments, eye cues, the magic of opposites attracting, and more. It's how to make the best of the most important 90 seconds in any relationship, business or personal.



Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The average person's attention span lasts about 30 seconds. That means first and immediate impressions count, and big. In this modern-day update of Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, former fashion photographer Nicholas Boothman instructs you in how to mold those 30 seconds to your greatest advantage and connect with others at business and social functions.

Boothman, now a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming (the art and science of how the brain affects human connections), says that the key to making others like you quickly lies in establishing a rapport: you have to find out what you have in common or, if you seemingly have nothing in common, purposely try to become like the other person for a short time. He then goes on to offer simple techniques for getting a rapport going: adopt a positive attitude; make sure your words, tone, and gestures are all saying the same thing; synchronize your attitude and body movements to those of another person's (which makes the person feel comfortable with you--although he or she may not know why); and ask lots of open-ended questions. Boothman also describes how to figure out a stranger's favored sense for receiving information about the world--some rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input--and use it to your best advantage.

If discovering how to connect with others is the secret to business and life success, as Boothman contends, then employing the strategies in this book will make you instantly likeable and give you a leg up on the competition. --Nancy Monson

From Publishers Weekly

Blessed with an irresistible premise and title, this well-packaged self-help book draws its advice from neuro-linguistic programming and a study of interpersonal communication conducted by two UCLA doctors. While its clearly presented techniques may help readers clear communications hurdles in social and professional interactions, this upbeat volume will probably appeal most to readers interested in dating and nurturing romantic attachments. A former fashion photographer who gives "Positive Connection" seminars, Boothman breaks down the process of connecting with people into discrete stepsAmeeting, establishing rapport and opening up communicationAand provides simple examples, self-assessments, exercises and sample dialogue. He contends that a key to establishing rapport lies in synchronizing behavior or mimicking the other person's pose, facial expression, gestures, body language and tone of voice. According to the principles of neuro-linguistic programming, Boothman recommends categorizing people according to how they take in information (e.g., visually, aurally or by feel) and responding in kind. Though the book reads like an adapted seminar or puffed-up magazine article, Workman's ambitious promotional campaign and usual canny marketing may well make this little book one of the season's most popular impulse purchases. 20-city author tour.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1196 KB
  • Print Length: 203 pages
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; Reprint edition (July 2, 2008)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B001BAJ2B6
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #51,115 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
414 of 421 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Better Communications by Creating Rapid Connections! October 2, 2000
Format:Hardcover
This book is one of the simpler and easier to understand of the many books that introduce Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques. It is also a little more original in that it does not simply repeat the ideas of Drs. Richard Bandler and John Grinder word-for-word as so many of these books do. The author has studied under Dr. Bandler (as have I) and is a Licensed NLP Master Practitioner.
If you already know NLP, you can skip this book.
If you do not yet know NLP, this is a good introduction for those who have trouble making in-person connections.
NLP is based on observations of how people open themselves up to receive communications from others. Basically, we each have thinking habits that mean we consider subjects in different ways and sequences. When we come upon a way or sequence that is different from ours, we close up and pull back. When we come on one just like ours, we feel relaxed and open, and the message sinks in both consciously and unconsciously. Students of perception estimate that the words you use are less than 25 percent of the communications that are received from you. Your body motions are the primary means of communicating. Your intonation is also important (take time to sound pleasant).
The author focuses on the fact that impressions are formed in the first 10 seconds or so when we meet someone. He encourages us to open ourselves up physically (hands open, coat unbuttoned if you have one on, relaxed), look the other person in the eye, beam (like you are shaking hands), say Hi! with a positive attitude, and lean towards the person. These are universally interpreted as being genuine indications of interest that are perceived by the other person's subconscious mind, and the other person will almost always respond in kind.
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134 of 137 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Teen Shyness Overcome August 7, 2006
Format:Hardcover
My 16 year old son has always been shy. I gave my son this book to read over the summer to see if it could help him overcome some of his shyness before entering his junior year in high school. Overnight, this book changed his life. Everytime he practiced a new skill his self confidence grew. Everyone is commenting on the change in him. I have purchased extra copies of this book to give to other kids who are ready to gain confidence in themselves; to feel comfortable enough with themselves to meet new people and feel comfortable with old friends. Over the years I have tried teaching my son some of the skills in this book, but until my son read the book himself he just didn't get it. Now he does. He is the happy kid I have always known him to be. He is constantly smiling now and rushes to meet life head on. I highly recommend this book to teens and adults looking for a simple answer on how to meet people and make them like you in 90 seconds or less.
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119 of 125 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent introduction to how to make people like you February 8, 2003
Format:Hardcover
This is a great book which can help make people like you in a very short time. I found it in a Book Exhibition, and decided to buy it since the title attracted me.
It's really useful when you learn how to attract attention of people which is very important in our daily life.
This book is concise, user-friendly and uses simple language for conveying the auther's message.
Part (1) is an introduction about the importance of the first impression. There is an old saying which is true most of the time (The first impression is the last impression.) All what you need is to adopt a positive attitude, make sure your words, tone, and gestures are in harmony, and use your gift in organizing your speech to maintain an attractive conversation by using open-ended questions to try to discover what the other person likes.
Part (2) focuses on the first 90 seconds for establishing a rapport. As Mr. Boothman said, the key to establish a rapport with people is to learn how to be like them.
Part (3) is talking about the secrets of interactions. I was amazed when I learned that some people rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input. You just should try to discover what the other person prefers and use it to your best advantage! After doing the exercise to determine my favorite sense, it came out to be (Visual)! The author gives us some exercises for determining the characteristics of the people whose favorable senses are visual, auditory, and kinesthetic.
Keep in you mind that your reward at the end will be the acceptance of the other person for your personality.
However, I agree with some reviewers that there are few points which were not clarified in this book:
1. emphasizing on general appearance.
2. exploring coversational techniques.
3.
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56 of 57 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Increased Sales will Follow reading this book! August 13, 2001
Format:Hardcover
I have recently read your book! And simply put ..this information is user friendly and it works.
I am the Director of business development with an audio,lighting and staging company in Canada.Using this informaton made more sales for my company!
I have 2 stories to relate to you.
Story #1 Part of our operation involves a retail sector. I was watching our sales staff present our products , they were asking all the " Closing" questions but were failing to get the sale. They were talking but not connecting! I took one of the sales people aside and using Nick's teachings from his book I found out my sales rep. was an Auditory. Guess what? That is the way he was relating to the clients.
I pointed out that his clients were any one of 3 types of people. Visuals, Auditory, Kino(Touchy Feely Type). I taught him a quick lesson on how to determine which they were. Then I told him to communicate with them in a way they like to process the information.
If they were visual he would show them something...If they were auditory he would let them listen to it...and if the were a "Kino" he would talk about how this would make them feel. Results were INSTANT increased Sales!
Story #2
I was asked by a major Canadian corporation to assist senior management with presentation techniques. I took the teachings of Nick to the boardroom. I helped them construct a presentation that would cover all the various "types" of people that would be the target audience. The result was out standing! All the presenters who listend and practiced were complimented on a job well done. And for all my hard work I secured yet another client for our company.
This book will help business people turn a transaction into an Interaction.....That means RAPPORT! That means increased sales. Bravo!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Very interesting topic and a great read. Hard to apply some of the concepts in real life.
Published 3 days ago by elizabethisbeautiful
4.0 out of 5 stars simple techniques
Simple yet effective. Have applied to my conversations and have seen improvement!
I recommend this book to both inexperienced and experienced communicators.
Published 14 days ago by Michelle Carey
3.0 out of 5 stars Yes, People will like you in 90 seconds, but not afterwards!
Here's where I got misled by the book...

This book does show you how to make people like you in 90 seconds. But that's it. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
I enjoying the book
Published 1 month ago by 'Luis Alberto Crespo
5.0 out of 5 stars Beam a Greeting...
If you want to make a great first impression, take to heart what is presented here. He has lots of experience as a photographer, so using his tips will improve your efficiency in... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Artwrite
5.0 out of 5 stars NLP Basics Made Simple
Quick read on the basics of NLP. Easy explanations and examples. Am recommending to my business partners all over the US
Published 2 months ago by Alice
5.0 out of 5 stars A better social lubricant than alcohol?
This slim volume helped me to appreciate the joy and power of connecting with others and the importance of small talk to gain information and develop rapport. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Abner Rosenweig
5.0 out of 5 stars awesome!
quick shipping! awesome!
Published 3 months ago by Alex Murray
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Happy customer!
Published 3 months ago by Sandra
5.0 out of 5 stars maximize your life
Helps you realize the power you possess, shows you how to create positive interactions, and intentional living with all people.
Published 4 months ago by susitoo
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More About the Author

I am passionate about human potential.

I spent the first 25 years of my working life as a fashion photographer and as a father of five children. I met so many people with tremendous potential but without any people skills - they were like roses with rubber bands wrapped around them - and they'd never blossom until someone took off that rubber band. I made up my mind to be that person.

I took a risk and traded in my cameras for a laptop and started out going into schools teaching kids how to ace interviews and get jobs. From there it grew fast and within 6 months I was invited to be the kick-off speaker at the AT&T Canada annual convention at the Metro Convention centre in Toronto.

Today I speak all over the world and my books have been translated into more than 30 language. My hottest business speech is "Be Brave - Take Risks." And why not? Taking risks is the only way businesses can grow and innovate.

More than 500 corporations, thousands of small businesses, and six of the world's leading business schools have contacted me to rally and inspire their staff to take risks and connect.

www.nicholasboothman.com
Nicholas Boothman, author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, learned how to establish instant rapport with strangers while he was working as a fashion and advertising photographer. A licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, he is a consultant to individuals, groups, and corporations that want to learn the communication skills needed to connect with others. He lives in Toronto, Canada, with Wendy, his wife of 35 years.
www.nicholasboothman.com


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