Customer Reviews

Make Up, Don't Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I really liked this book, it seems to be lower on fluff, and higher on substance. This book will help you figure out your style and your personal needs in a relationship. She is also great at assessing your partner's needs and relationship style. This book gives sound advice, while lifting up your spirits.
Often the person that we have a great amount of internal conflict with is the exact person that can help heal wounds from childhood. Unfortunately, we come with different styles, and sometimes we need to adapt for the person that is having the harder time to commit.
She gives clear advice, and ideas on how you can best adapt to your partner without sacrificing your self respect, and dignity. Will this book work for me? It already has in helping me to reframe a past relationship, and hopefully in future ones, I can bypass some of those stumblings I have made in the past. I definate must if you think you should break up, or have broken up and want to get back together. Honestly, its just a great read to learn more about yourself.

If you think, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is good, then this book is the ultimate. If you'll follow her techniques word for word, you will definitely get results. Every mother should give her daughter this book for sound advice on getting and keeping the love you want. It explains beautifully, how the anatomy of a relationship is like dancing the tango in the sense of connecting , disconnecting and reconnecting. The author employs very practical smart heart skills to apply to breathing life and love back into marriages that have lost their luster and courtships that are not moving in the direction of commitment. I promise that this book will be well worth it's investment many times over. Forget your therapist. This book is all you'll ever need.

Although I think this book would help many men too, I am writing this review for women. This book makes you understand why "The Rules" work. I highly recommend both, but if you read and follow this book you really don't need "The Rules". Basically it comes down to most men are "distancers" because they are afraid of commitment and women are "pursuers" because they want commitment and this book tells you when to call and when not to call and why men wait to and other things we endure in the dating process.

I don't think it helps to get someone back, but it's great for preventing break-ups. Great for single women or women in a new relationship.

This book helped me understand dynamics of my present and past relationships. While the techniques seem a little amorphous, they do work! Useful for those without a mate or significant other, too. I recommend "How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together" by Susan Page, also. These two books compliment each other well.

Besides outright contradictions, this book is pretty helpful. For instance, "break up with your lover, but don't have any contact, but it's OK to sleep with them. "(I'm paraphrasing here). Lots and lots of contradictions....; despite that it's a good read and I like the singles section. The examples are less generic then The Passion Trap & Getting to Commitment (the later did not apply at all to any of my issues). I'm pretty sure the guy I've been seeing has already read this book. lol

This book is awful. The premise that you can find a partner who is trainable is ridiculous. Compassionate manipulation should have been the title to this book.
Bonnie needs to check out some books about codependency and do some self assessment.

This is by far the best book I have ever read about relationships.
And it has the most incredible solid advice for how to make a relationship work. I cannot recommend this book more highly.

The information in this book is outstanding whether you are single, in a relationship or married. I wish I had read this long ago, it would have saved me a lot of heart ache. Follow this book and I guarantee your relationship will improve.

This book really opened my eyes to a lot of concepts I was not really aware of in relationship and most importantly in communication. A well written book that you will want to read several times. She explains in how dealing with your own issues, even issues you may not have really thought about, can really benefit a relationship. Also a clear understanding in how to communicate with your significant other without hurting emotions and creating a safe environment to be open and honest with each other. Probably one of the best things about this book is you can actually contact Dr. Bonnie to clarify or gain one on one help in whatever your relationship issues are. A highly recommend read and experience. It changed my dating and relationship life for the best.

I've only read it once so far but in my 1st read of the book I did find some interesting tidbits of info that I've highlighted in order to further study/reflect on. However, I found much of the book to be very (almost continually) contradicting itself in regard to many of the topics. This book is very clearly written in `female form'. It's blatantly obvious to me that a women wrote it. This makes it a very hard read for a man OR a very hard read for anyone that doesn't fit in the author's view of how men and women normally are. That is, men are supposed to almost always be `distancers' while women are `pursuers'. If you're in the minority group of folks where these roles are flipped, you may find it an even tougher read. There is a ton of `her' and `him' in the author's writing style that contributes to the confusion. It would be a much better read if the language would've been gender neutral.

The book also had a lot of material that was strictly for single people.

Continuing the forewarning.... The author links your problems with how your parents are and as such says that unless you're willing to go `back home' and go over everyone's problems together then you will almost certainly not succeed (she's very clear about this). So, if you are a person that won't do this, or cannot for a variety of reasons, with one being that if your parents may be deceased, this book probably will not be able to help.

Again, I did find some interesting statements/concepts in this book but overall I have big issues with some of the theory, recommendations, and especially the writing style.