The entertainment world is familiar to Dr. Andrea Hill (Andrea Carroll prior to her marriage) both as an entertainer and musician, as well as a renowned acting coach. In her early career, she was a regular on the long running “Gene Carroll” Show in Cleveland. Later she played a singer on the daytime serial “Somerset”. In the sixties she signed a recording contract with Epic Records and later RCA (where she recorded eight local hits and two national hits on the Billboard’s charts) and had the exceptional experience of touring nationally with such stars as Elvis Presley, Stevie Wonder and Bob Hope.
Today, Andrea Hill, Ph.D., MFT., along with husband, former television producer Lyle B Hill, owns the nationally renowned acting school Weist-Barron-Hill, located in Burbank, California. Dr. Hill is also a licensed clinical therapist with a specialty working with people in the entertainment industry from beginners to movie stars. She lives in Calabasas, California.
Performance Anxiety
Q. Dear Dr. Andrea, I’ve been an actress for nine years. I’ve always had to deal with nervousness before a performance, but I thought that with experience I would stop feeling so afraid. Instead, it’s getting worse, especially now that I have a major role in a new play. Before each show I’m sick and actually dread going to the theatre. Dina
A. Performance anxiety is the fear of a shaming experience. And it’s universal. From the first grader making her first presentation at school, to the Academy Award winner accepting the highest award, fear of being embarrassed or humiliated is experienced by anyone who has the courage to stand in front of a group. And the anxiety intensifies when the audience consists of your peers, or someone you consider particularly important.
Usually, performance anxiety diminishes somewhat when we become confident about our craft and when we’re at ease with our surroundings, like when an actor works on a series, sit com or soap opera on a regular basis. A theatre production usually causes more anxiety because of the live audience, and no opportunity to do a re-take if a mistake is made. Still, after a few nights, performance anxiety is usually reduced to butterflies shortly before the performance begins, and completely vanishes when the actor steps onto the stage.
You‘re a seasoned actress, and yet, your anxiety has intensified, which may suggest a problem that many very well known and highly regarded performers experience. If you’re wondering whether you can live up to the expectations of those who admire your work and if because you now have a starring role you feel the responsibility of keeping the show from closing, you have a whole new set of reasons (in your mind) to anticipate a shaming experience. But you’re not alone.
Sir Lawrence Olivier finally gave up the stage for a film career because he felt he couldn’t live up to the perfection his audiences expected from him. He felt tortured that he would be harshly criticized by his fans and professionals in the business. In other words, felt he couldn’t live up to his reputation. At least on film he could re-do his scenes if necessary.
Of course, you don’t have to give up your theatre career, but you will have to give up distortions in your thinking that are causing you more anxiety than you should have to deal with before a performance.
If in your idea of your perfect self (we call this the ego-ideal) you believe that you’re not worthwhile unless your show is “a hit”, the pressure will continue to mount until you diminish your ability to do your best. But if you can change the way you think about it, the importance you attach to it, your anxiety will become manageable.
Of all the different thoughts that seem to crop up before a performance, catastrophizing is the most damaging. (I don’t think I’ll be able to get through this without making a dreadful mistake that will ruin everything.) The most helpful
thinking is called realistic appraisal. (I’m bound to make a few little mistakes, but so what?) And “so what” is really the key here.
These could include thoughts like, it isn’t essential to receive approval from others in order to have self worth. And, perfection is not required in order to be successful.
Changing your point of view will take effort, because excessive anxiety has become a conditioned response to going on stage. You’ll probably find it helpful to do some special mental exercises about 20 minutes before the curtain rises each night. You can accomplish this by closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, and allowing good feelings about yourself enter your mind. Repeat this night after night, and in time good feelings will appear automatically. Or, you can find a therapist who is expert at visualizations to help you. Soon your mind will associate going on stage with a feeling of positive regard for yourself.
Remember, Dina, a play is just one tiny element of your life. So put it back into perspective, pat yourself on the back for your courage and for facing your performance anxiety, and above all, enjoy the moment!
