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on February 3, 2005
I love parenting books because they are always full of good ideas, even if you don't necessarily agree with everything in the book. THIS book, however, was fantastic. I'm a pretty easy-going person, so as long as their safety wasn't at risk, I would generally allow my kids to have way too many liberties.

Dr. Leman describes pulling the rug out from under the little buzzards. If a child begins whining about dinner, then simply throw dinner down the garbage disposal and excuse the child from the table.

Yikes, that seemed a little harsh to me, but I felt as though my little ones had way to much control over me, so I gave it a try. WOW. It worked.

He also discusses the necessity of making your relationship with your spouse a priority. The best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage! And they will feel more secure going through life with parents who show love and respect to one another.

I'm a huge fan of Kevin Leman now. I can't wait to read what else he's written!
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on September 1, 2003
And i have read a lot! I am a full-time mother of very active three-year-old twin boys. My mother was a yeller and I swore I would not parent that way. However, once the boys hit two I found myself beginning to fall into that pattern. If I didn't yell or vent, I carried around anger at them which spilled over to my husband when he came home from work. I wanted nothing more than to escape from my life and even considered going back to work even though I really wanted to raise my own children. This book didn't just tell me what to do in a certain situation, it gave me a change of perspective. Now I can figure out on my own what to do before I get angry. Both of my boys are responding beautifully and we have a lot more fun together than ever before. There is also a lot more affection between all of us. BUY THIS BOOK!
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on June 6, 2001
I've read a LOT of parenting books. This is the best one I've read by far. His methods teach a balance of respect and discipline that make so much sense! And it works! I have been trying to move away from so many punitive measures in disciplining my kids, but I could never buy into the completely positive discipline style of discipline. This book (and video series) was a true answer to prayer for me and my husband. It teaches a balance of punishment and discipline with self control and respect. We have been trying to apply this philosophy in our family, and this book gives great practical examples. I have seen a real difference in my kids and have felt it in myself.
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on March 6, 2012
No offense Dr. Leman---
Another book about how to raise your children. Some things work, some things don't. Every child is different. Dr. Leman presents himself like all the others do "my techniques work...the others don't" because they worked on his kids and some of his clients. And, yes, some of them do work.
My big complaint is he really doesn't address how to deal "make children mind" at the younger years (2 and 3). If you are a parent, you know how tough those years are in regards to the kids minding. His techniques DO NOT work on my 2 year old. Especially the eating part, where they either eat what is in front of them or they are excused from the table with nothing else to eat for the night. This works pretty good for my 5 year old, who will complain his little heart out but still eat as he knows the consequences. That being said, bribery and other techniques have also worked with him.
Despite that, if you have an elementary school child who is a handful (maybe this works on teenagers too?), his book gives you some good techniques to consider and thoughts to ponder in your armory of child rearing books. But, if you are looking to tame your preschooler or toddler, you might want to look elsewhere.
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on October 31, 2000
The Reality Discipline described in this book is just common sense distilled into a well-thought out set of guidelines. I like that Leman writes in a manner that is respectful of parents, rather than preaching, and flexible-you won't find any "do exactly as I say to the letter or your child will be a brat," which all too many parenting experts do. Reading this book really helped me think through why I do what I do and how I can alter my actions to better fit with my philosophy. I highly reccomend it!
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on April 9, 2000
Dr. Leman gives parents practical and inspirational advice in "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours". His views on "reality discipline" fall right in line with the way my husband and I have been trying to raise our four girls. It was wonderful to have support for the way we "discipline" vs. "punish" our kids. He also gives practical advise with examples on how to handle situations that arise in all families. From temper tantrums to tattling, hope and help is here!
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on October 2, 2009
I'm about two/thirds of the way through this book. I have two little girls - 18 months and 3 1/2 years old. Both girls are wonderful of course but the older one is stubborn, defiant and very strong willed - great traits if directed properly. To be the best possible father I'm able to be I figured I'd best educate myself through an "expert's" insights (if there is such a thing?). So about the book - so far it is recommended. Here are relevant points to consider:
1) He speaks generally on topics such as discipline, communication, reward & punishment, etc... then includes specific examples applying his philosophy/technique. The examples are helpful and illuminating.
2) Much of what he says is common sense for anyone who has spent the time thinking these topics through to their logical outcomes, however I find many people don't or aren't able to do so, so for them much of this will seem new and exciting. For me, much of it is simply common sense...but what book on parenting can be written that is not filled common sense?
3) Common sense aside, there are definitely nuggets of wisdom, tools and insights to be obtained in this book - for that alone it is worth the purchase. I am putting check marks in the margin next to these nuggets for later compilation into a quick reference chart for efficiency in dealing with the issues as they arise.
4) I don't know anything about this author except for what he discloses in the book - apparently he is a psychologist, counselor, author and puts on seminars. He is faith based so there is an underlying religious foundation for his techniques - which don't affect their effectiveness one way or another. So if you are turned off by the occasional religious reference this may bother you, BUT really if you are mature you should be able to ignore this part and just objectively accept and apply the resulting advice which is pretty good in about 90% of the examples given (in my opinion).
5) The book mostly references the nuclear family (father and mother) but he also devotes a chapter to single parents - the fact is the techniques are the same, he is just making sure he hasn't offended or turned off those single parents by their exclusion in the prior examples.

Conclusion - book is not perfect. Much in it is common sense for people with common sense, but there are many good nuggets of wisdom and techniques to be found that make it a worthwhile purchase. There are religious references so if you are not mature enough to ignore them and they offend you don't bother buying this book. For the rest of us who realize that while we may already have many of the answers we don't have them all and we want to improve our parenting skills - it is recommended.
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on August 8, 2005
This book has been such a huge help in my home. I am so much more confident in my parenting skills, and my 2 year old showed immediate improvement in her behavior. I can now discipline my child knowing that I will get results, that I'm doing what's best for her and that I'm not damaging her little psyche.

I am not religious, but the religious references didn't bother me a bit. In fact, I can say that I was impressed with how Dr. Leman tied his religion into his discipline methods.

This book is worth every penny, and I only wish I had bought it sooner. I see people all the time now having difficulty with their children, and I just want to say "Buy this book!"
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on August 11, 2004
Dr. Leman's humor and common biblical based sense makes this book a great book for mom and dad, educators and ministers. I have also taught the video series with the same name and it is wonderful, everyone enjoyed it. I just wish it was around when my kids were small. They will be getting a copy for their children. With topics like Becoming the parent God wants you to be, reality discipline and let the little buzzards tumble, Dr. Leman is on the top of my recommended list!
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on February 5, 1999
I bought this book for the first time about 6 years ago when my son was 3 and we had just had our 2nd child. I read it, loaned it out to a friend, and never saw it again. I've since bought 8 copies, all of which I have read and then given away. I now have 3 children, ages 3,6 and 9 and am getting ready to order another copy. I love this book! Every one needs help now and then and I am so thankful that there are good christian people willing to share their mistakes and victories with the rest of us so we in turn can make better judgments ourselves!
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