Making Room in Our Hearts and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
  • List Price: $24.95
  • Save: $10.01 (40%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Only 3 left in stock (more on the way).
Ships from and sold by
Gift-wrap available.
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Condition: Used: Good
Comment: Eligible for FREE Super Saving Shipping! Fast Amazon shipping plus a hassle free return policy mean your satisfaction is guaranteed! Good readable copy. Worn edges and covers and may have small creases. Otherwise item is in good condition.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties through Open Adoption Paperback – October 23, 2006

See all 3 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
"Please retry"
"Please retry"
$8.03 $0.01

Frequently Bought Together

Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties through Open Adoption + The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole + The Open Adoption Experience - A Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families
Price for all three: $55.70

Buy the selected items together

Hero Quick Promo
Year-End Kindle Daily Deals
Load your library with great books for $2.99 or less each, today only. Learn more

Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (October 23, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0415955025
  • ISBN-13: 978-0415955027
  • Product Dimensions: 9.9 x 7.1 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #492,887 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


"Every once in a while, a book comes along that can make an honest difference in the understanding of an important subject—and, therefore, in people's lives. I'm delighted to say that Making Room in Our Hearts is one of those books. It takes on open adoption, which remains too poorly understood despite its growing prevalence, and explains it in the best possible way: through the stories of those who live it. The result is simultaneously touching and enlightening; it's a wonderful combination that I hope and believe will make an honest difference in the continued evolution of adoption from the stigmatized, secretive process that it used to be into one that is honest, healthy and better serves all of its participants, especially the children."         - Adam Pertman, Executive Director, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute

"Micky Duxbury has written an interesting, up-to-date book on the beauty and the complexity of families built through open adoption. She has integrated the knowledge provided by other experts in the field with the poignant sharings of real families who have been living their open adoptions over several years. This is a book well worth reading and owning; I highly recommend it."  - Sharon Roszia, co-author of The Open Adoption Experience and Program Manager, Special Needs Adoptions for Kinship Center of Southern California

"Open adoption is not a trend—it is the wave of the future. Making Room in Our Hearts helps us prepare for that future by providing an ethical and child-centered perspective as it puts a human face on open adoption. You will meet real people revealing, as well as struggling, with the ups and downs of these complex relationships. This book fills an important need by providing adoption professionals, birth and adoptive families and their extended familial networks with a wealth of practical and personal information." - Brenda Romanchik, MSW, Open Adoption educator, Birth Parent advocate, and Director of Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support

"Having been born under the closed adoption system some forty-something years ago, it was a profoundly moving experience for me to read about families—birth and adoptive families—who have come to embrace openness for their children. I believe that the adoption community is moving in a brave and important new direction, and that Micky Duxbury's book will provide a vital map for families and professionals alike. I am grateful for this work and only wish that it had been the standard of practice while I was growing up." - Susan Ito, adult adoptee and co-editor of A Ghost At Heart's Edge: Stories & Poems of Adoption

"This book is a valuable inclusion as an educational tool in the arena of open adoption … that can build understanding among those personally involved with adoption, considering adoption, professionals and anyone else who is interested in this topic. Additionally, it offers support to those already in open adoptions who want to hear about how this experience has evolved for others as the years have passed."   - Patricia Martinez Dorner, MA, LPC, LMFT, Co-author of Children of Open Adoption and author of How to Open an Adoption: A Guide for Parents and Birthparents of Minors

"I have been anxiously awaiting the release of Making Room in our Hearts, by Micky Duxbury so that I could recommend it to every adopting family I have the fortune of consulting with. Never has there been a volume so compassionate, inspiring and informative about why child-centered, open adoption is the correct paradigm for today's adoptions. Ms. Duxbury understands that openness in adoption is not a quantifiable obligation, but a quality that can be cultivated and resides in the heart of family members touched by adoption."  - Leslie Foge, MA, MFT, Adoption Psychotherapist and Co-author of The Third Choice: A Woman's Guide for Placing a Child for Adoption

"Making Room in Our Hearts is an authentic, inside account of the open adoption experience. It offers an opportunity to listen in as the participants of adoption describe the delights and challenges of their journeys. Openness never shines brighter than when it is expressed in the actual words of those who live it day in and day out." - James Gritter, author of The Spirit of Open Adoption, and The Lifegivers: Framing the Birth Parent Experience in Adoption

"This is a wonderful book… and the author seems to have complete control of this often-confusing area of relationships. The topic is covered in a thorough as well as realistic fashion. Duxbury is a skilled writer and has a very friendly writing style that should appeal to the reader….As families become more and more "non-traditional" the notion of openness cannot be stressed enough." - Jon Carlson, Psy.D., Ed.D., ABPP, Distinguished Professor, Governors State University

"Ms. Duxbury excels as a writer and a storyteller. Her book is so compelling and such a pleasure to read because the stories of the families are told in such lucid language with well paced story lines.  You can feel the excitement of a family when a baby is placed in their home and the anguish of a birthfather wanting a stronger connection to his son.  Ms. Duxbury, an advocate of open adoption, does not spare either the joy or the pain of open adoption." - Ann Wrixon, Independent Adoption Center Executive Director

About the Author

Micky Duxbury is an adoptive parent of a beautiful and expressive daughter brought to her family through domestic adoption in 1994. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has practiced in the Bay Area for twenty years. Currently specializing in pre and post-adoption education and counseling, she has facilitated pre-adoption support groups for the for eight years. She developed and taught a course on The Psychology of Adoption and offers workshops on Raising Adopted Children. A strong proponent of ethical and child-centered adoption practices, she has worked as a mediator and therapist with all members of the adoption triad.

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
5 star
4 star
3 star
2 star
1 star
See all 14 customer reviews
This book delves into the world of open adoption and what the best practices are.
M. Hadfield
The book moves us beyond theoretical understandings of the benefits of open adoption to the lived experiences of adoptive families, birth parents and adopted children.
Kim D. Van Eyck
I would highly recommend this book for any one whose life has been touched by adoption.
Eno fan

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Heather on October 2, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book is an excellent resource for anyone involved in open adoption. Duxbury integrates first-person stories with information on the basic philosophy and history of openness. The stories are authentic and honest, and do not shy away from acknowledging challenges and mistakes. Especially valuable are those from decades-old adoptions, offering a glimpse into how open adoption relationships evolve over time. I appreciated the story groupings which provided multiple perspectives on a single adoption--from birth/first parents, adoptees, adoptive parents, siblings and extended family members. Prompts encourage readers to mine these shared experiences for practical application in their own situations. Optimistic without falling into Pollyanna-ness, the book touches on public and private adoption, opening closed adoptions, openness in international adoptions, how to make openness work, and needed changes in the current adoption system. A comprehensive list of open adoption resources (publications, agencies, organizations, etc.) is also included.

Although a good resource for families at any stage, I think this book will be especially valuable for pre-adoptive parents and expectant parents considering placement. It not only provides a realistic look at openness, but also makes a strong case for the importance of adequate preparation and ongoing post-adoption support for participants in open adoptions. The discussion of best practices in open adoption will help potential clients discern which agencies/professionals are committed to child-centered open adoption as a standard and which pay it mere lip service.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Neababe on September 8, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After placing my son, still on my maternity leave I was looking for support anywhere I could find it. The grief is still so overwhelming. I found this book - and I am so happy I did. This book interviews people from the natural family, as well as the adoptive family - and puts all the fears to rest by discussing and talking about how there are just more people to love the child. This has been the most difficult decison I have made in my life, and knowing that all of his families are on the 'same page' makes things a little easier to swallow - and eliminates the fear all natural parents have of being 'cut off' and left by the wayside now that placement has taken place. I shared it immediately with his adoptive parents, who read it cover to cover. We have discussed it, and continue to have a very close relationship, given they are states away. This book helped 'bridge the gap' and truly brought us together with one focus. (I miss him so....)
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Nicole Burton on May 20, 2008
Format: Paperback
As an person raised under closed adoption, I never knew openness of the kind Micky Duxbury writes about in Making Room in Our Hearts could exist. I love the case studies and accompanying photographs of families in open adoption because we humans are storytelling creatures who learn best through engaging tales. I learned that openness can exist in adoption, with birth and adoptive families discovering together how to best support the growth of the adopted young person - wow, what a concept! "Open Adoption," it turns out, is not a one-size-fits-all, utopian arrangement but a supported process of learning how to be flexible, compassionate, and respectful to the people who love the people we love. The family ties that Duxbury describes are the most important "possessions" we can give our children. In addition to her own story as an adoptive parent, Duxbury includes a dozen case studies and a generous list of adoption resources in the back. I love this book and learned so much from reading it. Highly recommended to all interested in the practice of adoption, especially prospective and current adoptive parents.
Nicole J. Burton, Swimming Up the Sun: A Memoir of Adoption
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By V on September 25, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book was helpful to me in learning about open adoption as I new little about it before reading this book. It reads a little like a text book, but provides a great overview with recommendations for other, more lengthy books on the topic.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
By M. Hadfield on September 6, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book delves into the world of open adoption and what the best practices are. It shares the joys and challenges, and always brings the focus back to the adopted children and the positive impact that knowing their birth parents has. It dispels myths that children will want to go live with birth parents if they know them and that adoptive parents aren't treated as the "real parents." It is a wonderful step on our journey to parenting through adoption. I highly recommend it to those pursuing adoption as well as to loved ones of those choosing adoption. Given how many go through infertility before adopting and have to deal with insensitive (though not malicious in my experience) comments, it is a wonderful give to give to friends on this journey to get your questions answered from this book. It will allow you to contribute to the process rather than inadvertently adding to the emotional rollercoaster that all of this can be.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
By Katie on December 10, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am an adoptive mom and a therapist. This book has been of great help in both of my roles. With clear writing and helpful organization, Micky Duxbury opens the door to all kinds of families. The tales she presents are touching and inspiring. At the same time she doesn't gloss over the realities and challenges that adoption can bring (as well as any kind of parenting.)

I've always learned best through stories, and the author has managed to present a comprehensive overview of adoption, both open and closed, including a variety of issues and considerations, all in the context of the humans connections that are at the center of every family, no matter how it's composed.

This book is my number one choice for clients as well as friends who are considering adoption. I recommend it enthusiastically.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?