Customer Reviews

Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties through Open Adoption

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4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
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This book is an excellent resource for anyone involved in open adoption. Duxbury integrates first-person stories with information on the basic philosophy and history of openness. The stories are authentic and honest, and do not shy away from acknowledging challenges and mistakes. Especially valuable are those from decades-old adoptions, offering a glimpse into how open adoption relationships evolve over time. I appreciated the story groupings which provided multiple perspectives on a single adoption--from birth/first parents, adoptees, adoptive parents, siblings and extended family members. Prompts encourage readers to mine these shared experiences for practical application in their own situations. Optimistic without falling into Pollyanna-ness, the book touches on public and private adoption, opening closed adoptions, openness in international adoptions, how to make openness work, and needed changes in the current adoption system. A comprehensive list of open adoption resources (publications, agencies, organizations, etc.) is also included.

Although a good resource for families at any stage, I think this book will be especially valuable for pre-adoptive parents and expectant parents considering placement. It not only provides a realistic look at openness, but also makes a strong case for the importance of adequate preparation and ongoing post-adoption support for participants in open adoptions. The discussion of best practices in open adoption will help potential clients discern which agencies/professionals are committed to child-centered open adoption as a standard and which pay it mere lip service.

As an person raised under closed adoption, I never knew openness of the kind Micky Duxbury writes about in Making Room in Our Hearts could exist. I love the case studies and accompanying photographs of families in open adoption because we humans are storytelling creatures who learn best through engaging tales. I learned that openness can exist in adoption, with birth and adoptive families discovering together how to best support the growth of the adopted young person - wow, what a concept! "Open Adoption," it turns out, is not a one-size-fits-all, utopian arrangement but a supported process of learning how to be flexible, compassionate, and respectful to the people who love the people we love. The family ties that Duxbury describes are the most important "possessions" we can give our children. In addition to her own story as an adoptive parent, Duxbury includes a dozen case studies and a generous list of adoption resources in the back. I love this book and learned so much from reading it. Highly recommended to all interested in the practice of adoption, especially prospective and current adoptive parents.
Nicole J. Burton, Swimming Up the Sun: A Memoir of Adoption

This book was helpful to me in learning about open adoption as I new little about it before reading this book. It reads a little like a text book, but provides a great overview with recommendations for other, more lengthy books on the topic.

My son and his partner read Making Room in Our Hearts and then recommended it to me. I'm so glad that I read the book because it was very helpful and answered a lot of my questions about open adoption. I'd have to say that I had no clue what the term meant before reading the book and was feeling some of the same emotions as some of the other birth and adoptive grandparents who are portrayed in the book. The author has done a great job of making herself, her subject, and her families understood. Knowledge is power and Making Room in Our Hearts if very powerful indeed!

After placing my son, still on my maternity leave I was looking for support anywhere I could find it. The grief is still so overwhelming. I found this book - and I am so happy I did. This book interviews people from the natural family, as well as the adoptive family - and puts all the fears to rest by discussing and talking about how there are just more people to love the child. This has been the most difficult decison I have made in my life, and knowing that all of his families are on the 'same page' makes things a little easier to swallow - and eliminates the fear all natural parents have of being 'cut off' and left by the wayside now that placement has taken place. I shared it immediately with his adoptive parents, who read it cover to cover. We have discussed it, and continue to have a very close relationship, given they are states away. This book helped 'bridge the gap' and truly brought us together with one focus. (I miss him so....)

absolutely LOVE this book. absolutely recommend it!
would also make a wonderful gift for adoption agencies.
the information & real life accounts in this little treasure are invaluable!

This book is essential read for anyone who is thinking about adopting a baby in US. Knowledge is power and more you know less fear there will be going through the process of open adoption. Book arrived on time and in a perfect condition.

I found this book to be incredibly helpful with the honesty it presented in the lives of families experiencing open adoption. I appreciated how there were different types of openness represented and the families, and author, shared not only the positive things about open adoption, but also some of the negatives. This book really helped me to realize the importance of maintaining a connection with the birth family to help our daughter feel comfortable in her own body and feel confident in herself.

Making Room in Our Hearts is an essential contribution to the literature on open adoption. The book moves us beyond theoretical understandings of the benefits of open adoption to the lived experiences of adoptive families, birth parents and adopted children. Through these stories we see the possibilities of reaching across race, class and and other cultural differences in our everyday lives in order to form relationships that support children and build community. A must-read for all adoptive parents.

I am an adoptive mom and a therapist. This book has been of great help in both of my roles. With clear writing and helpful organization, Micky Duxbury opens the door to all kinds of families. The tales she presents are touching and inspiring. At the same time she doesn't gloss over the realities and challenges that adoption can bring (as well as any kind of parenting.)

I've always learned best through stories, and the author has managed to present a comprehensive overview of adoption, both open and closed, including a variety of issues and considerations, all in the context of the humans connections that are at the center of every family, no matter how it's composed.

This book is my number one choice for clients as well as friends who are considering adoption. I recommend it enthusiastically.