Customer Reviews

Making Your Second Marriage a First-Class Success

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

With incredible clarity, uncompromising truth, and rare and refreshing wisdom, the Moseleys have written a life-changing book that will help couples create profoundly intimate relationships. As managing editor of Marriage magazine, I research over 2,000 relationship books and resources each year, to bring readers 65 articles. This book (along with the Moseley¹s previous book, Dancing in the Dark: The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships) is on my "Top Ten All-Time-Favorite" book list. It's a must in your personal library if you desire a thriving relationship. While the publisher decided to orient this book to second marriages, I think the majority of information could be used for first marriages and any committed relationship. Rarely are we given such knowledge and wisdom packaged so accessibly, so if you only have time for one relationship book this year‹this is it. If you really want to soar relationally, and in your own life, then consider taking their workshops. I¹ve been profoundly, and permanently, changed by their wisdom and expertise.

This is really an excellent book on how to grow in a loving, committed relationship. The authors are married to each other, both for the second time, and they draw from both their own experiences and that of their couples therapy clients. But this isn't just a bunch of case histories strung together-- there's a lot of good advice and insight in between the examples. I especially got a lot out of the chapter on finances. I've read a lot of books on love & relationships, but never anything that mentioned how we all have deep-seated feelings about money that we don't feel comfortable talking about! Yet I've known quite a few couples who had deep divisions over money. It makes a lot of sense that couples (many of them older, and with substantial assets) would want to talk about how they intend to handle money before they get married, but how many people do? The Moseleys explain why this is such a scary thing. And with that understanding, it makes it easier to talk about money issues with your partner. In summary, I found this a very hopeful and helpful book.

If you are really serious about doing what it takes to create a marriage that is vital, juicy and can grow as you do, then this book will give you a guide. The Moselely's do not gloss over the very real challenges of relationship, and the commitment it takes to 'grow up' together. The book is easily read, non-technical, yet covers the essential issues that couples face. I thought it surely was written precisely about me! It is particularly helpful in learning how to get into feelings in a way that builds intimacy and dissolves resentments. The nitty-gritty difficulties of money and blended families are well-covered, and the often overlooked importance of each person having a strong relationship with their own self is emphasized, along with a road map to get there. The Moseley's really know what they are talking about, and you will get concrete help from reading this book.

Let's be honest, how many of us "get lucky" and choose our soulmate in our teens or twenties when we barely even know ourselves? We are certainly not raised perfectly and perhaps we are not even mature enough to truly understand ourselves until mid-life. So it is no surprise that even though our intimate relationships are the most important aspect in our lives - there seems to be an epidemic of unhappiness out there.

Well, someone has finally put into words an insightful lesson on relationships that cuts right to the heart of the issue. The Moseley's style and words will help you see yourself in ways that will make you uncomfortable (nope... that's not strong enough) they completely skip the "bunny slope" and take you right to the top of the mountain where you will face your fears head on! This book will definitely spark your growth process!

After reading this book, my girlfriend and I were both so moved by it that we can't stop talking about it. Together, we have been actively promoting it to our family and friends. This book helped us look inside ourselves just at a time when we were afraid to make a lifelong commitment to each other (second marriages for each of us). We have re-read this book and highlighted passages especially important to each of us (almost every page is now a mess). It became so obvious after reading this book that we were in there on almost every page - we have laughed and cried about that! We even got a little silly and penciled in our own names in places where a passage felt so applicable that we "personalized" it.

If you can read this book with an open mind and acceptance of your own "humanness" - you will be empowered and capable of incredible depth in your relationships. You just have to read this book.... You owe it to yourself!

I ordered this book because of the good reviews it got from other readers, but I was disappointed when I got it. It is yet another book that comes from the viewpoint that men are thinkers and women are feelers -- there is an entire chapter titled "When Men Don't Feel". This may work well when a thinker and a feeler are paired up together, but it's useless otherwise. If you are looking for a fresh perspective on male-female relationships, this isn't it.

This book is full of insights on what makes a relationship tick and keep ticking. My wife and I have been trying to develop our relationship, and I just wasn't understanding her language. I now have a better understanding of that language and what she was missing. I had my Alec Guinness-What-have-I-done moment and suddenly understood what she needed from me. (She has been telling me for years, but I wasn't understanding her). She has seen a transformation in me and it's my turn to demonstrate staying power.

The book also explores some of the tendencies that women have in relationships. Some of the other reviews here give me encouragement that we will benefit from her reading it too.

Buy this book if: 1. You sense/feel/think that you and your spouse are speaking different languages or have a completely different way of thinking, and 2. you want to understand this way of thinking from the other's perspective. I see no reason that this book wouldn't apply to first marriages too.

It has a few exercises that couples can do, but mostly you will gain insight and understand better some behaviors.

The best part of the book to me was the first half, which tended to deal with big picture issues. The parts that explore specific issues around finances and step-parenting are ok, but didn't really resonate for me. They were really variations on the main theme.

To me, this book has given me greater understanding and probably saved many counseling sessions. It truly was a shortcut to better understanding.

I generally don't review a book when I'm only halfway through reading it. However, for "Making Your Second Marriage a First-Class Success," I'm more than willing to make an exception. The Moseleys draw on their own experiences, and examples witnessed in their counseling practice, to lay out some seemingly simple but actually profound advice in matters of communication. I have read some bits of this book aloud to my fiance, and he has asked to read the entire book when I am finished. I am confident that this book will help us in our marriage (a second for each of us) ... and I intend to share the book with friends.

Exceptional information. A must read before beginning to date again. Chapter on commitment is powerful.

Despite alarming divorce rates, marriage is as popular as it had ever been judging by the fact that almost everyone who can get married does it at least once in their lives and twice or more if they can. However, "practice makes perfect" doesn't usually apply to remarriage. Unless one learns how to be intimate, how do deal with negotiating relationships, how to be sure that your mate gets what they need while you get what you want, a second marriage might add up to an even greater disappointment than the first effort. However, if you read and absorb the salient theories and practices contained in the Moseley's MAKING YOUR SECOND MARRIAGE A FIRST CLASS SUCCESS you have much better than a fighting chance to create the kind of relationship that you've always wanted. What makes this book unusual, besides the sound theories and methods that are clearly and concisely presented, are the excellent case studies with which the reader can identify with and learn from. The Moseley's include their own struggles and successes in their second marriages. Their observations and methods are validated through their own experiences and the results of the extensive workshops they provide for those who want to establish and maintain high guality relationships. I'll be referring some of my marital and family clients to this four star volume. If you're having trouble in your second marriage, or want to avoid them, read the book and find a third party to help you to implement the highly effective program the Moseleys have developed. Better yet, attend one of their workshops.

This book takes up where Dancing in the Dark leaves off, giving the reader very insightful, and informative ways of coming to grips with relationship problems in the moment....helpful information to stop painful patterns of relating and put new healthier behavior into place immediately. This is a must read for all embarking on a second marriage so that the painful patterns of the past don't wreak havoc in the new relationship. The Moseley's have a knack of finding the exact source of the pain and then give the reader many helpful ways to start the relationship in a much more healthy direction.