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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Advice to consider, December 30, 2009
"The Male Factor" is based on a statistically solid survey of 600 men, plus dozens of interviews, and details how men think at work. The point of this book is for women to understand how men think at work (not at home or in relationship, but when they are in their `work' box) so that women can decide how/if they want to make adjustments in the way they act/talk/dress so that men will perceive them more accurately. The author says, "We can be skilled, talented, highly educated, mentored and networked - and yet trade all of that away by unintentionally undermining ourselves in our interactions with male colleagues." Yes, the business world still has its own set of rules, that were invented by men, and so you must decide how you will play in that world...will you understand and adapt to the rules, or not? Not to worry, the corresponding book to train men is under development.
"The Male Factor", the expanded edition for Christians, has a little bit of biblical reference scattered here and there, but you might miss it in general. The main difference between a secular version and this version is an additional chapter that provides the perspective and advice of Christian women in leadership positions in business or ministry.
Why should you read a book like this? Because you need to understand all the factors at play in your career. "Generally, especially as you rise through the ranks, no one is incompetent - so it falls to other factors. It's not just talent, because everyone has that." So what are these other factors other than talent? That's what you'll learn in this book. The author makes another analogy ... if you were engaged in international business, you would want to learn about that other culture so that you didn't sabotage your work... men are simply a different culture that you must learn about so that you can decide how/if to change anything in your control.
Men typically compartmentalize, so they have a Personal World and a Work World. Each of these has different rules and expectations. The way you interact with your husband in Personal World is NOT the way you may interact with a man in Work World. So chapter 3 explains the differences in these worlds; and chapter 4 explains the basic rules of the Work World. Then chapters deal with particular topics like emotion in the workplace, fear and insecurity, and how women's clothing can completely derail a guy. Do we need to wear a burqa? No, but men perceive figure-fitting or revealing attire to be intentionally eye-catching and inappropriate, not simply stylish, and they think a woman is less competent ...that she's intentionally distracting them from seeing her job performance flaws.
The Male Factor is pretty easy to read, and probably pretty valuable to any woman who wonders why her career doesn't seem to go anywhere. The information can also be pretty aggravating, but until the world is perfect we all have to learn to get along.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read for working women, January 2, 2010
This review is from: The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace (Hardcover)
If you're a working woman, you should read The Male Factor. The book explains how a failure to understand gender differences in workplace communication styles can sabotage both a woman's contribution to her employer's mission and her prospects for professional advancement.
Here's an example of one of the many aha-aha moments I experienced as I read the book: At work, have you ever asked a "why" question such as "Why did you come to that conclusion?" If so, you probably thought that you were asking for information and doing so in an appropriate, straight-forward manner. But, are you aware that men often perceive "why" questions as calling into question their judgment? In contrast, if you simply rephrase along the lines of, "Can you tell me what you're thinking here?" most men will no longer take offense at the question and will be glad to answer it.
That is just one example of the author's hundreds of helpful tips and insights into how men communicate in the business world.
If you're at all skeptical, I urge you to begin with the Appendix, where the author explains her research methodology. You'll find strong evidence of a commitment to positive science and valid statistical inference.
As you read, you'll also realize that the author is herself a successful professional and is motivated by a desire to help women succeed.
You'll learn that small changes in your communication style can have a significant, positive effect on how your presentations, your comments at meetings, and your conversations are perceived by your male co-workers.
Like most working women, I have limited time for general business reading that isn't directly related to my field. In fact, I probably won't read more than a handful of general business books this year. I'm glad this book was on my short-list. It should be on your short-list, too!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Some good insights,some a bit too gullible, October 17, 2010
This review is from: The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace (Hardcover)
The fact that this book is based on research, interviews, and thoughtful analysis is great. I would not have bothered with it otherwise. I found some of her insights useful, and some of her nearly blind acceptance of what the men she interviewed and surveyed said, that gullibility, humorous. I also wonder about the men she surveyed. Maybe I have been lucky to have met a disproportionate number of intelligent, insightful ones. This book does give good advice on how to deal with the other kind.
The idea that, according to her research, men cannot think and feel at the same time and so assume that if a woman shows any emotion at work, she must have turned her brain off, is a useful point of view when dealing with some men. She gives good advice for what to do in the situation where a woman's ideas are being dismissed as being illogical because she is also excited, angry, worried, etc.. Her advice would also be useful for situations where a woman presents a new, unusual way to solve a problem and is assumed to not understand the situation. Give your premise, even if you think it is obvious, even if it won't fit in bullet points.
She also seems to think women "take everything personally" but men do not. Men have feelings, particularly about their work. She seems to think men are not deeply hurt when they lose a job or do not feel anguish when they have to let workers go. There is a difference between not having feelings and not putting them in charge.
What I worry about is that she seems to accept a belief that women are all walking pots of overflowing emotion at work while most men walk around with only cold rationality behind their actions. It is hard to see how a woman who has had experience in business could believe that. If that is what her surveys tell her, then the problem is that unrealistic perception.
She definitely does a service in telling some women that if she treats the office as a place to show off her figure, nobody will take her seriously. That should be a "duh," statement, but unfortunately, it is not. Articles in fashion magazines that tell women how to dress in the office are almost universally wrong, because if they all said, "extremely modest, very conservative, and professional" they would have nothing new to sell. She also rightly recognizes that no amount of conservative dress on the part of women will make men forget they are talking to women.
On the other had, when she gives the example of a man hiring his golf buddy for a highly responsible job in which his buddy has no experience, she accepts with little argument that he does so because he "knows for sure" that the golf buddy is also very qualified. Why don't the pages have a little electronic chip that laughs when you get to that part?
She also talks about men feeling the constant pressure of bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders, the unceasing fear of letting up from work because they have to provide a decent life and a stable future for their families. And this would be different from women in the workforce...how?
This book will not level the playing field; to believe that would be the same as accepting that all discrimination is justified by women being too emotional and too flirty at work. But if you read it with a sense of humor, it will take a few bumps out of the way and give some useful advice and insights.
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