The Mall of Cthulhu [Paperback]

Seamus Cooper (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 19, 2009

A decade ago, college student Laura Harker was saved from a fate worse than death at the hands (and fangs) of a centuries-old vampire priestess and her Satanic minions. Her rescuer, an awkward, geeky folklore student named Teddy, single-handedly slew the undead occupants of the Omega Alpha sorority house, spurred into heroic action by fate itself, inexorably intertwining his and Laura's destinies. After navigating her way through law school, Laura is now a junior FBI agent assigned to the Bureau's Boston office. Unfortunately, she finds her job involves more paperwork than adventure. When Ted stumbles onto a group of Cthulhu cultists planning to awaken the Old Ones through mystic incantations culled from the fabled Necronomicon, he and Laura must spring into action, traveling from Boston to the seemingly-peaceful suburbs of Providence and beyond, all the way to the sanity-shattering non-Euclidian alleyways and towers of dread R'lyeh itself, in order to prevent an innocent shopping center from turning into... The Mall of Cthulhu!

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

At a Delaware university in 1993, geeky folklore student Ted took out a nest of vampires with an axe and a Zippo, saving hot lesbian coed Laura. A decade later, he's still haunted by his supernatural experience, living off the hush money from the university while working as a barista and stalking Laura, now an FBI agent. When Ted learns of a racist cult plotting to bring back the Old Ones, the two friends investigate, and some supernatural shenanigans and carnage ensue. Cooper's characters verge on the whiny and adolescent, but the Lovecraft jibes never quite wear thin. Diehard fans of the short story Call of Cthulhu might not like the unflattering picture of their idol, but those with a passing familiarity will find the pages turning swiftly thanks to the silly action. (Oct.)
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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Night Shade Books; 1 edition (June 19, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1597801275
• ISBN-13: 978-1597801270
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #949,044 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful wild ride for mythos fans, July 2, 2009

By 

Matthew T. Carpenter (Peoria, IL, USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Mall of Cthulhu (Paperback)

What a breath of fresh air! I had been slogging through more mediocre mythos for some time now and Mall of Cthulhu was just what I needed. It is a terrific read and I highly recommend it. I first heard about it advertised on Amazon in early 2008; publication was delayed until just recently. It is a nice trade paperback from Nightshade Books, listing at $13.95 (discounted a bit by Amazon) and clocking in at a generous 235 pages, all text. Editing was good; there were no typos I could see. The minibio of the author provides no useful information, but as far as I can tell this is his first book. Cover art is by Scott Altmann. It's OK, but with this cover and this title, my first impression was this was going to be a deliberate attempt at mythos humor. As such, I was not particularly enthusiastic when I started it. This is actually not what this book is about at all. The plot synopsis has minor spoilers, but no more than the blurb on the book. Skip to the next paragraph if that bothers you.

10 years ago, Laura Harker (and all name coincidences in this book are decidedly deliberate) was rescued from a sorority house full of vampires by super nerd, Ted (you know, I'm not sure the author ever mentioned his last name), who had to slaughter the lot of them. Fast forward 10 years and we find Laura is a low level FBI agent who has trust issues, because she cannot confide in anyone about this terrible moment in her life. Ted is a wreck, following his only friend, Laura, from city to city, holding down odd jobs in coffee shops. Whenever he confides the truth to a new girl they think he's psycho and leave (Laura is a lesbian so they stay just sort of co-dependent friends). He is awakened ever night by vivid flashbacks of the bloody events of that night. Ted has sort of settled into Boston, making lattes. He has to serve an obnoxious customer, who doesn't notice when he drops a CD. In a fit of pique Ted pockets the disk. Later, as a favor he brings a coffee to Laura at her job site. When he gets back to the coffee shop everyone has been gruesomely murdered. The obnoxious man is there and demands the disk from Ted. Ted manages to escape, and tries to calm himself while hiding and phoning Laura. Their life abruptly takes a turn into the surreal when they discover a conspiracy of men who are attempting to cause a transdimensional rip with the Necronomicon that would allow Cthulhu access to our plane where he may ravage everything. The bulk of the book describes how Laura and Ted track down the cult to a mall across from the Masonic Temple in Providence and attempt to thwart the machinations of the cult.

This book is by no means a comedy; it is more an action thriller. There is a huge leavening of humorous banter and jokes, but these are all intrinsic to the characters and their personalities. I laughed out loud a frequently but I never thought anything was forced. And what vivid characters! Ted and Laura light up the pages, they are so real. I know people who act like this! Even the minor character FBI agents were deftly drawn. Only the bad guys and maybe the paranormal investigator who shows up near the end were little more than plot contrivances. Usually I have terrible heartburn when HPL's fiction is found to be true; for me it spoils the world building. In Mall of Cthulhu it was an organic part of the plot. Terrific writing with a propulsive plot and sparkling dialogue trumps everything else. Mr. Cooper's book is wildly inventive; his take on R'lyeh is different from any other I have read but is very clever and it works well in this story. I was so captivated I zipped through the whole book in a matter of a few hours. I will happily read his next book, even if it has no mythos connections.

So is Mall of Cthulhu for all mythos fans? Well it should be but of course it isn't. If you like Delta Green and Cody Goodfellow, or perhaps Charlie Stross, then Mall of Cthulhu is for you. If you only prefer HPL pastiches you won't be pleased. If you demand complete apocalypse, look elsewhere. Some readers only care for the dreamy, equally vivid world of the Sesqua Valley. To each their own. For me, I like all mythos stories that are well written. Mall of Cthulhu is an effervescent romp through one man's take on the mythos. I was completely won over and you should be too.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A great summer "popcorn" book., August 21, 2009

By 

Andrew Peters - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Mall of Cthulhu (Paperback)

I admit it, I bought this book based on the title and cover art. Ooo... Shiny! Going from there the book did not disappoint. The story, characters and setting were all just, fun.

I say it's a popcorn book because it was like reading a screenplay re-written as a novel. There were some jarring moments where the writer and editor missed some wrinkles. The occasional incomplete sentence or spelling error stopped me in my tracks. I didn't mind this much at all because I was just having a good time.(Plus it's the dude's first book put out there by a small independent publisher.)

I'll probably pass it around to my more geeky friends but maybe not so much to the readers I know that wouldn't be into such a silly romp.

That said, Seamus Cooper did a great job bringing this story to life. I hope he continues to write as this first outing shows plenty of wit and imagination. Pick up a copy for a few hours of entertainment. It's cheaper than hitting the cinema for a bad movie.

Speaking of bad movies though... I could certainly see Mr. Cooper behind not only some more fun books but maybe some comics and movies as well? *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Gilligan's Island of Cthulhu, August 2, 2009

By 

James Richard Flavin (Iwaki, Japan) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Mall of Cthulhu (Paperback)

I bought this book in the hope that this might be an at least acceptable lighter version of the Mythos.
Such versions have done well in the past but all to infrequently. This was not one of them.

This book is written in the "Gilligan meets the monster, ain't I too too cool" mode. The author even mentions Gilligan's Island as one of the hero's favorite TV programs. The hero,Ted, is a less bright version of Gilligan, the "Captain" is transformed into Laura a hot, lesbian FBI agent, and "Mary Ann" is transformed into Cayenne, Ted's hot over-pierced girlfriend. They all seem to specialize in being deeply damaged, bursting into tears on a regular basis, and projectile vomiting.

The author's sole attempt at relevance is to be very PC. His hero reveal that Lovecraft was a racist, as if anyone who read HPL failed to noticed that most of his villains were non-white, non-WASP, and/or of mixed race or species. To prove his tolerance, the author limits his villains to only currently acceptable evil groups: Christians, Republicans, and of course angry, white, working class men who probably drink Mr. Doughnut coffee.

Oh yes. Cthulhu is in the story too but he's mostly asleep and the evilest deed he performs is to yawn and overwhelm the intrepid heroes with his morning breath.