Customer Reviews

The Mall of Cthulhu

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

What a breath of fresh air! I had been slogging through more mediocre mythos for some time now and Mall of Cthulhu was just what I needed. It is a terrific read and I highly recommend it. I first heard about it advertised on Amazon in early 2008; publication was delayed until just recently. It is a nice trade paperback from Nightshade Books, listing at $13.95 (discounted a bit by Amazon) and clocking in at a generous 235 pages, all text. Editing was good; there were no typos I could see. The minibio of the author provides no useful information, but as far as I can tell this is his first book. Cover art is by Scott Altmann. It's OK, but with this cover and this title, my first impression was this was going to be a deliberate attempt at mythos humor. As such, I was not particularly enthusiastic when I started it. This is actually not what this book is about at all. The plot synopsis has minor spoilers, but no more than the blurb on the book. Skip to the next paragraph if that bothers you.

10 years ago, Laura Harker (and all name coincidences in this book are decidedly deliberate) was rescued from a sorority house full of vampires by super nerd, Ted (you know, I'm not sure the author ever mentioned his last name), who had to slaughter the lot of them. Fast forward 10 years and we find Laura is a low level FBI agent who has trust issues, because she cannot confide in anyone about this terrible moment in her life. Ted is a wreck, following his only friend, Laura, from city to city, holding down odd jobs in coffee shops. Whenever he confides the truth to a new girl they think he's psycho and leave (Laura is a lesbian so they stay just sort of co-dependent friends). He is awakened ever night by vivid flashbacks of the bloody events of that night. Ted has sort of settled into Boston, making lattes. He has to serve an obnoxious customer, who doesn't notice when he drops a CD. In a fit of pique Ted pockets the disk. Later, as a favor he brings a coffee to Laura at her job site. When he gets back to the coffee shop everyone has been gruesomely murdered. The obnoxious man is there and demands the disk from Ted. Ted manages to escape, and tries to calm himself while hiding and phoning Laura. Their life abruptly takes a turn into the surreal when they discover a conspiracy of men who are attempting to cause a transdimensional rip with the Necronomicon that would allow Cthulhu access to our plane where he may ravage everything. The bulk of the book describes how Laura and Ted track down the cult to a mall across from the Masonic Temple in Providence and attempt to thwart the machinations of the cult.

This book is by no means a comedy; it is more an action thriller. There is a huge leavening of humorous banter and jokes, but these are all intrinsic to the characters and their personalities. I laughed out loud a frequently but I never thought anything was forced. And what vivid characters! Ted and Laura light up the pages, they are so real. I know people who act like this! Even the minor character FBI agents were deftly drawn. Only the bad guys and maybe the paranormal investigator who shows up near the end were little more than plot contrivances. Usually I have terrible heartburn when HPL's fiction is found to be true; for me it spoils the world building. In Mall of Cthulhu it was an organic part of the plot. Terrific writing with a propulsive plot and sparkling dialogue trumps everything else. Mr. Cooper's book is wildly inventive; his take on R'lyeh is different from any other I have read but is very clever and it works well in this story. I was so captivated I zipped through the whole book in a matter of a few hours. I will happily read his next book, even if it has no mythos connections.

So is Mall of Cthulhu for all mythos fans? Well it should be but of course it isn't. If you like Delta Green and Cody Goodfellow, or perhaps Charlie Stross, then Mall of Cthulhu is for you. If you only prefer HPL pastiches you won't be pleased. If you demand complete apocalypse, look elsewhere. Some readers only care for the dreamy, equally vivid world of the Sesqua Valley. To each their own. For me, I like all mythos stories that are well written. Mall of Cthulhu is an effervescent romp through one man's take on the mythos. I was completely won over and you should be too.

I admit it, I bought this book based on the title and cover art. Ooo... Shiny! Going from there the book did not disappoint. The story, characters and setting were all just, fun.

I say it's a popcorn book because it was like reading a screenplay re-written as a novel. There were some jarring moments where the writer and editor missed some wrinkles. The occasional incomplete sentence or spelling error stopped me in my tracks. I didn't mind this much at all because I was just having a good time.(Plus it's the dude's first book put out there by a small independent publisher.)

I'll probably pass it around to my more geeky friends but maybe not so much to the readers I know that wouldn't be into such a silly romp.

That said, Seamus Cooper did a great job bringing this story to life. I hope he continues to write as this first outing shows plenty of wit and imagination. Pick up a copy for a few hours of entertainment. It's cheaper than hitting the cinema for a bad movie.

Speaking of bad movies though... I could certainly see Mr. Cooper behind not only some more fun books but maybe some comics and movies as well? *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*.

I bought this book in the hope that this might be an at least acceptable lighter version of the Mythos.
Such versions have done well in the past but all to infrequently. This was not one of them.

This book is written in the "Gilligan meets the monster, ain't I too too cool" mode. The author even mentions Gilligan's Island as one of the hero's favorite TV programs. The hero,Ted, is a less bright version of Gilligan, the "Captain" is transformed into Laura a hot, lesbian FBI agent, and "Mary Ann" is transformed into Cayenne, Ted's hot over-pierced girlfriend. They all seem to specialize in being deeply damaged, bursting into tears on a regular basis, and projectile vomiting.

The author's sole attempt at relevance is to be very PC. His hero reveal that Lovecraft was a racist, as if anyone who read HPL failed to noticed that most of his villains were non-white, non-WASP, and/or of mixed race or species. To prove his tolerance, the author limits his villains to only currently acceptable evil groups: Christians, Republicans, and of course angry, white, working class men who probably drink Mr. Doughnut coffee.

Oh yes. Cthulhu is in the story too but he's mostly asleep and the evilest deed he performs is to yawn and overwhelm the intrepid heroes with his morning breath.

The Mall of Cthulhu originally had a publication date of July 2008, and a very funny, teasing blurb (see above). I held out for a full year, until Night Shade Books finally got the book out the door. I wish I could say it was worth the wait, but it wasn't.

Matthew Carpenter (above) really liked the book, and points out that it is an action-adventure tale rather than a spoof. That may be part of the problem. The blurb promises one kind of book (What would you expect of a book that threatens to turn "an innocent shopping center into The Mall Of Cthulhu"?) Trouble is, the first 40 or so pages are neither exciting, nor amusing, nor are the characters at all interesting. At that point I gave up on it.

If only the blurb writer had written the book!

I didn't have high expectations with a book called "Mall of Cthulhu" -- when I opened it as a Christmas present, I assumed it would be a terrible, if mildly entertaining, piece of pulp trash. With that said, I enjoyed it much more than I had imagined. Of course it was silly -- didn't the title clue you in? But it was a fun, fun read.

Seamus Cooper finds more success in his comedy than his horror. No Lovecraft fan will find this tale remotely scary, although I did enjoy Cooper's descriptions of R'lyeh as a land out of time. Another reviewer said this book fits into the action/thriller genre, and while that's not completely untrue, I was never moved to the edge of my seat. But boy, did I laugh a lot - out loud, at times. One particularly funny moment (SPOILER WARNING) came when Ted is bored in R'lyeh and tries to wake up Cthulhu by jumping on his face, screaming "Wake up and eat me!". (END OF SPOILER)

I am surprised that this book has earned mostly five-star or one-star reviews. I do have some criticisms, but I had a great time reading this bit of mind candy. How about a middle-of-the-road, sure-it's-ridiculous-but-so-was-The-Goonies thumbs up?

My criticisms -- the line dividing good and evil was too simple and overstated. Democrats good / Republicans bad (I'm independent myself, so I don't have an opinion other than the fact that it seemed a bit preachy). And why must all the bad guys be white-supremacist-cultists? I know, Lovecraft was racist, but it oversimplified the villains into easy-to-hate one-dimensional jerks. What about trying confused or insane, marginally-likable bad guys mixed in with the racist jerks? That would have given Ted more reason for his reluctance. And frankly, I don't think Providence has a large population of skinheads.

Anyway, it's still a fun read that I'll be recommending to my Lovecraft-reading friends.

This isn't the best Cthulhu story that I've read... but it was alot of fun. While the story isn't anything ground breaking, it is a fun enjoyable ride. The book feels like it needs to be the lead in for an on going series. You knid of don't want to let go of the characters at the end.

This book was a great read. I plowed through the book in two days, and was left wanting more. I hope the author will write a sequel. I can not recommend this book enough!

You'd think there'd be more funny urban fantasy but it seems like it's usually just a side item - like the amusing bits in the The Dresden Files novels. Mall of Cthulhu goes for laughs more aggressively but still keeps up the story and action - this is not Terry Pratchett Mort level silly. If you're a Buffy fan this is more in the vein of Xander being pursued by all the women in Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered than it is a epic and thrilling big threat in Hush.

It's a light & quick read and priced pretty bang-on at $3.

Occasionally laugh out loud funny, slightly flat climax and good-if adolescent-characterization. A promising writer worth the read.

At 235 pages, The Mall of Cthulhu was a quick read. The pace was snappy. The writing was clean and error-free.

Those expecting a HP Lovecraft clone may be disappointed. This is a parody. However, fans of Lovecraft will get more laughs out of this story. The part where Ted is stuck in R'lyeh and ponders "...his own reality with its comforting, Euclidean geometry..." had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt. And the name dropping of August Derleth and such... well, if you don't get it, it won't ruin the book for you, but it adds to the humor if you're in on the jokes.

The plot flowed well, although there were a couple leaps of faith that require you to not suspend your disbelief as much as tie it up in a rubber gimp outfit. I know Providence, Rhode Island isn't very big, but running into a Cthulhu cultist (one that you are looking for, no less) buying bayberry spice candles at Ye Olde New England Candlery in the mall isn't a stretch, it's a tear in the space-time continuum. However, running into a Cthulhu cultist buying bayberry spice candles at the Ye Olde New England Candlery is damn funny. Seamus does a good job of using comedy as an effective plot-patching tool. When the plot jumped, I couldn't stop laughing long enough to get mad about it.

The story is written from 3rd person limited POV, bouncing back and forth between two protagonists: Ted, the scruffy and emotionally damaged barista with the inner resources to lop vampires heads off with an axe when necessary, but not the ability to cope with the memories of his actions, and Laura, the hot and proper, emotionally damaged, lesbian FBI agent. The dynamic between these two is great, and the way it changes through the story (when a little red pepper is added...) is well done.

To those reviewers upset by the inclusion of racism and politics - I agree insomuch as the they were unnecessary and took away from the humor of the story, but they also didn't ruin the book for me. If you are secure in your political and racial views, then I doubt you will find this book offensive.

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