Most Helpful Customer Reviews
32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
This Book Isn't Just for Daughters, January 26, 1999
By A Customer
I am a woman engaged to a man with an extremely dramatic, controlling mother. I found this book extremely helpful in pointing out manipulative, controlling tactics she uses with her son which makes him feel completely guilty when he has done nothing wrong. I found myself in a similar situation with her, which is why I purchased this book, which I shared with him. He read parts of it before confronting his mom in order to help give him the strength to stand up for himself. Mama Drama does a good job stressing the positive aspects of a controlling mother while outlining ways for you to gain control. I found that it does speak to both women and men, and I find it unfortunate that so many books target the mother/daughter relationship; my fiance is living proof that these relationships also exist between mother and son.
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I have read many mother/daughter books, July 8, 2006
This review is from: Mama Drama: Making Peace with the One Woman Who Can Push Your Buttons, Make You Cry, and Drive You Crazy (Paperback)
but this one is the best so far, even topping Deborah Tannen's helpful one ("You're Wearing That?"). What I especially found so helpful about this book is that it isn't laden with anecdotes. Instead Denise McGregor has insightful explanations for mothers' motivations, daughters' responses, and how to understand and heal these areas. She also has a deeply spiritual ( not religious) undertone that I found very calming and peaceful. Denise is an excellent writer and knows how to explain even the most complicated issues in such a way that I felt I could understand my relationship with my mom in a whole new way. For so many years I felt alone, and that I was the only one feeling so much guilt when it came to my mom, and Denise's book is so enlightening. I realize that not only am I not a freak but that it is a really common issue with most mothers and daughters, and Denise offers beautiful, excellent advice on how to deal positively and release guilt.
I can not stress how great this book is. Like I said, I have read many many many, and now I feel like this is it. I do not have to read any more mother daughter books ever again. This one book has set me on the road to healing and improving my relationship with my mom. I hope it can help you too.
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30 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
helpful book, September 28, 2006
This review is from: Mama Drama: Making Peace with the One Woman Who Can Push Your Buttons, Make You Cry, and Drive You Crazy (Paperback)
I'm writing a review even though I haven't completely finished reading the book in case my review helps someone else. This book is very helpful. The author doesn't mention a lot of pscyhological terms but rather tries to help you understand why you mother is doing what she is doing and provides you with tips on how to balance the relationship so you are not constantly stressed and discouraged. She encourages you not to "divorce" your mom like some would say but tells you to think about what you want out of the relationship and then work to that goal, often by finding some common ground that you can stand on to related to your mother.
I'm sort of in the midst of some major issues with my mother (again) and the one thing I am struggling with are feeling of guilt and isolation and the "why me" mindset as it relates to my mother. Wondering why I can't have a good relationship with my mother like I see other women have with their mothers. I feel further isolated since I don't have a sister or an aunt and my grandmother has passed so there's not even another woman in my family that I can share my feelings with to help me feel better. This book provides lots of examples that help you realize you are not alone and that it is possible to not be super close to your mother and still be a good person.
There is one thing I struggled with that the author says. She says that your mother isn't out to hurt you and she even pointed to examples of child abuse and extreme cases where mothers have killed their children and she still says that those mothers weren't out to hurt their children and that their actions were about their issues and so forth (please read the book for the exact wording on this topic). Anyway I disagreed with that because I think sometimes mothers can wish to hurt their children, consiously and unconsciously I think sometimes mothers are jealous, resentful, unhappy with their own lives and just mean and that they do want to hurt their children. Do I think they may regret it after the fallout of their actions? Yes. Do I think they also have times or moments where they love their children? Yes. But I just felt like when the author said they don't want to hurt you it was almost excusing the behavior and saying that your mother really loves you no matter what and that any bad thing is really not to hurt you and I just don't think I believe that...but that is my opinion.
Let me say again that the book is wonderful and offers great insight in dealing with a problem that can make you feel very sad and lonely. It's worth it if you are having an issue...perhaps you can find some peace in the pages of this book.
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