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Mama Drama: Making Peace with the One Woman Who Can Push Your Buttons, Make You Cry, and Drive You Crazy Paperback – March 15, 1999


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Mama Drama: Making Peace with the One Woman Who Can Push Your Buttons, Make You Cry, and Drive You Crazy + When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (March 15, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312204213
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312204211
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,046,873 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

In her book McGregor tries to help people strengthen their own individual personalities and preferences while maintaining ties with dear old Mom. It isn't an easy feat, so McGregor offers mental exercises, pep talks and imaginary scenarios.

Her techniques have the potential of sounding like New Age gobbledygook, but they aren't because she explains them in a rational way.

Mama Drama is a quick read. There's no freudian analysis or psychological jargon. It's just entertaining and enlightening." -- Lisa Jackson, Detroit News - January 30, 1999 --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

"A terrific read! Mama Drama is practical, helpful, insightful, and dynamic." --John Gray, bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"For her lessons on love and forgiveness, author Denise McGregor deserves to be named the Dr. Spock of Parent Care." --New York Daily News


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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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It really has helped me a lot and I feel much less stress.
Kristen Simpson
When I found this book and read the title, I thought that this book was written for me!
Betty Wright
Perfect book for learning how to create a strong, healthy mother/daughter relationship!
Natalie Bergstrom

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 33 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 26, 1999
Format: Hardcover
I am a woman engaged to a man with an extremely dramatic, controlling mother. I found this book extremely helpful in pointing out manipulative, controlling tactics she uses with her son which makes him feel completely guilty when he has done nothing wrong. I found myself in a similar situation with her, which is why I purchased this book, which I shared with him. He read parts of it before confronting his mom in order to help give him the strength to stand up for himself.
Mama Drama does a good job stressing the positive aspects of a controlling mother while outlining ways for you to gain control. I found that it does speak to both women and men, and I find it unfortunate that so many books target the mother/daughter relationship; my fiance is living proof that these relationships also exist between mother and son.
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Amazon.com-lover on July 8, 2006
Format: Paperback
but this one is the best so far, even topping Deborah Tannen's helpful one ("You're Wearing That?"). What I especially found so helpful about this book is that it isn't laden with anecdotes. Instead Denise McGregor has insightful explanations for mothers' motivations, daughters' responses, and how to understand and heal these areas. She also has a deeply spiritual ( not religious) undertone that I found very calming and peaceful. Denise is an excellent writer and knows how to explain even the most complicated issues in such a way that I felt I could understand my relationship with my mom in a whole new way. For so many years I felt alone, and that I was the only one feeling so much guilt when it came to my mom, and Denise's book is so enlightening. I realize that not only am I not a freak but that it is a really common issue with most mothers and daughters, and Denise offers beautiful, excellent advice on how to deal positively and release guilt.

I can not stress how great this book is. Like I said, I have read many many many, and now I feel like this is it. I do not have to read any more mother daughter books ever again. This one book has set me on the road to healing and improving my relationship with my mom. I hope it can help you too.
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30 of 32 people found the following review helpful By merlot on September 28, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'm writing a review even though I haven't completely finished reading the book in case my review helps someone else. This book is very helpful. The author doesn't mention a lot of pscyhological terms but rather tries to help you understand why you mother is doing what she is doing and provides you with tips on how to balance the relationship so you are not constantly stressed and discouraged. She encourages you not to "divorce" your mom like some would say but tells you to think about what you want out of the relationship and then work to that goal, often by finding some common ground that you can stand on to related to your mother.

I'm sort of in the midst of some major issues with my mother (again) and the one thing I am struggling with are feeling of guilt and isolation and the "why me" mindset as it relates to my mother. Wondering why I can't have a good relationship with my mother like I see other women have with their mothers. I feel further isolated since I don't have a sister or an aunt and my grandmother has passed so there's not even another woman in my family that I can share my feelings with to help me feel better. This book provides lots of examples that help you realize you are not alone and that it is possible to not be super close to your mother and still be a good person.

There is one thing I struggled with that the author says. She says that your mother isn't out to hurt you and she even pointed to examples of child abuse and extreme cases where mothers have killed their children and she still says that those mothers weren't out to hurt their children and that their actions were about their issues and so forth (please read the book for the exact wording on this topic).
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30 of 33 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 16, 1998
Format: Hardcover
I've read this book and found my mom written in the pages. The author also gave excellent advice on how to deal with our "mama drama" without breaking our relationship with her. However, I feel I need to say something about one of her points, namely her claim that "mama drama" is supported by the American culture, but not the Asian culture. As someone who has grown up with the Asian culture in the American society, I know this is not true. Personally, I have often found the American culture to be more respectful of a child's or a subordinate's dignity than the Chinese culture. Respecting the elders is a wonderful value, but it can also mean the elder can abuse the child and the child can't protest or fight back, because doing so is considered disrespectful.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Karin Lewicki on January 2, 2009
Format: Paperback
The book is written in a familiar conversational style that may be good for some readers, and has advice some readers may find useful. Basically, it seems, if your relationship with your mother is frustrating, aggravating, all that stuff in the title, but basically good, this book is for you.

If your mother has ever significantly harmed you, do not get this book. (Unless you want to get it to light it on fire with friends, or something.)

I can't really put this in strong enough terms - if your mother has a personality disorder of any kind, if she's molested you or allowed other people to do so, if she has any kind of pronounced pattern of abuse or manipulation, you might be far better off with Victoria Secunda's "When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends," which is far more compassionate, reasonable, empathetic, and informed.

What McGregor has to tell you about your mother is basically what someone might have told you in the 1880s if you were beaten by your spouse. That you deserved t, basically, and that the person who beat you had your best interests at heart, and only did it because you made them, and so on.

McGregor would perhaps have been wiser to limit the reach of her book to people whose relationships with their mothers had been difficult, but not included psychological disturbance or violence. She doesn't, and in a few short paragraphs dispatches the concerns of these people she seems to know very little about. Her advice for people who have been the victims of abuse: "Your mother only wants the best for you!" She quotes a woman convicted of killing her children who wrote Erma Bombeck a fan letter. In the letter the woman says that Bombeck's book was so good, if only she'd read it earlier she might not have killed her kids.
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