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Mama's Got a Fake I.D.: How to Reveal the Real You Behind all That Mom [Paperback]

Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 17, 2009
No one begins life as a mom. Before you have children, you are an amazing combination of friend, daughter, confidant, visionary, encourager, and thinker. You start out in life using your gifts and abilities in a surprising variety of settings.

Then you have children and the role of mom–as wonderful as it is–seems to consume you. It’s easy to lose your identity when others see you as a mom and little else. What happened to the artist, the team-builder, the organizer, the entrepreneur, the leader–the person you’ve lost touch with?

In Mama’s Got a Fake I.D., Caryn Dahlstrand Rivedeneira helps moms like you reclaim the person God made you to be. God still wants to use you in ways that let your gifts, passions, and personality shine.

This inspiring and practical guide will show you how to break free from false guilt, learn a new language to express your true identity, and follow God’s lead in sharing who you really are. God wants you to discover who he made you to be–in your family and beyond. It’s time to reveal the woman who got hidden behind all that mom.

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Mama's Got a Fake I.D.: How to Reveal the Real You Behind all That Mom + Good and Perfect Gift, A: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Caryn Rivideniera is a real mom. With refreshing honesty, she casts vision and shares a perspective that every mom needs. If you've ever felt like you've lost yourself in the midst of raising a family, this book will help you find yourself again!”
Jill Savage, mother of five, founder and CEO of Hearts at Home

“Caryn writes with humble and heartfelt authenticity, understanding the mixed emotions of motherhood. She unfolds a new and deep perspective for what it means to understand our real identity in Christ and why this is imperative to our lives as we navigate our passions and the potential to imprint our communities with God’s hand.”
Dr. Liz Selzer, director of leadership development and events for MOPS International and executive editor of FullFill magazine

“Finally, a book to shatter stereotypes that shackle moms! Caryn honors motherhood while challenging moms not to lose their unique personhood in this overwhelming stage of life. As a woman who has experienced this identity crisis myself, I'm grateful to Caryn for creating an insightful and much-needed book with the potential to empower moms to become all God designed them to be.”
–Dr. Sue Edwards, assistant professor of Christian education at Dallas Theological Seminary

“I’ve met many moms who passionately love their kids, yet struggle with feeling marginalized. Does being a good mom really require them to surrender the goals and gifts that make them all God created them to be? The good news is, it doesn’t. With wit and wisdom, Caryn guides women who love being a mom through the process of rediscovering and reclaiming their full identity in Christ.”
Jane Johnson Struck, executive editor of MomSense magazine; former executive editor of Christian Parenting Today

“While moms love their kids more than life itself, there is more to every mother than the title ‘mom’. God wants mothers to live their fullest lives, and Caryn reminds us that in the throes of motherhood we can still continue to find our true identities in God.”
– Tracey Bianchi, coordinator of women's ministries at Christ Church of Oak Brook and speaker for MOPS International and other organizations

“I’ve heard mothers say that sacrificing their identity is part and parcel of being a good mom. Caryn shows us that the exact opposite is true. With humor and delightful insight, Caryn reveals that Jesus is thrilled to help every mom discover her unique identity. This is not a selfish side project but an essential way to worship God.”
– Jonalyn Grace Fincher, apologist and author of Ruby Slippers: How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home

“Caryn speaks for a lot of moms by openly discussing the difficulties of reducing a woman’s identity to one label and a single season of her life. This book will be a refreshing read for moms who share that struggle. This book gives startling evidence that we need to reclaim God’s richly multi-dimensional calling on His daughters’ lives.”
–Carolyn Custis James, author of The Gospel of Ruth

“With a fresh mix of humor and understanding, Caryn speaks to the women I’ve heard from through the years: the women who feel invisible beyond their roles as moms. Caryn gives moms who struggle with their ‘fake I.D.s’ a voice and a way to find their true selves.”
Ginger Kolbaba, editor of Today’s Christian Woman magazine

“Caryn has given us back those little pieces of ourselves we thought were gone for good. With a clear, biblical reminder that we are first and foremost the daughters of God, Caryn gently nudges us out from behind the false faces of maternal perfection and shows us how to reveal the women God created us to be, women of strength and vision and creativity and depth.”
– Carla Barnhill, author of The Myth of the Perfect Mother and former editor of Christian Parenting Today

“This is a great read: humorous, straightforward, deeply theological, encouraging, and challenging. It will change the way you see yourself, other moms, and God himself. Once you start reading, you’ll be changed and you’ll discover new ways you can change the world.”
–Amy Simpson, vice president of the Leadership Media Group of Christianity Today International and author of Diving Deep: Experiencing Jesus Through Spiritual Disciplines

“This is a conversation long overdue. Are there outside pressures to fit in? Yes. Is there just as much pressure in the faith world to fit in or conform? Sure. Thank goodness for an honest dialogue that takes women deeper as we celebrate the roles in our lives while exploring who God made us to be.”
– T. Suzanne Eller, author of The Woman I Am Becoming: Embrace the Chase for Identity, Faith, and Destiny

“Caryn’s fresh and practical perspective captured my attention–so much so that I let dinner burn as I tore through pages that reflected myself. This work is invaluable not just to mothers, but also to churches and families desiring to respect and appreciate moms for who we really are. I am grateful to Caryn for finally providing moms with such a soul-affirming resource.”
–Julie Clawson, author of Everyday Justice

“This delightful book is written for women like me. We are like Cinderella’s stepsisters, who tried on the glass slipper of mommyhood and discovered a less-than-perfect fit. With humor, grace, and candid self-disclosure, Caryn encourages moms to embrace their God-inspired identity–never ‘just a mom’ but ‘a mom and _______.’ Find out how you might best fill in the blank.”
– Eileen Button, columnist for The Flint (Mich.) Journal

“Did the picket-fence, ‘I’m just a mom’ role lose its paint in the fifties, and you’ve been waiting for someone–anyone–to point that out? Wait no longer. Caryn Rivadeneira and a whole new generation of Christian moms are trading paintbrushes for backhoes. Rebellious and deeply affirming, Mama's Got a Fake I.D. will help you explore the life-giving, Christ-empowering world after the picket fence comes down.”
–Sally Morgenthaler, author of The Emergent Manifesto of Hope

About the Author

The former managing editor of Marriage Partnership and Christian Parenting Today, Caryn Dahlstrand Rivedeneira has been writing for and speaking to women for more than a decade. Today she is the managing editor of GiftedForLeadership.com, an online community for Christian women in leadership. Rivedeneira lives with her husband and their three children in the Chicago suburbs.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook Press (March 17, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1400074932
  • ISBN-13: 978-1400074938
  • Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.1 x 7.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #623,585 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
(19)
4.8 out of 5 stars
A highly recommended read for new and more seasoned moms. H. G. Scott  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A needed book March 19, 2009
Format:Paperback
I have some serious issues with the typical messages the church sends to moms. But it's hard to question those messages without being accused of being a bad mom. So that's why I loved this book. Caryn has provided a resource (for moms and dads and well, anyone who has to relate to moms ever...) that helps get past some of those false messages and affirm moms' true identity in God's eyes. And she does it with humor and encouragement throughout.

I found myself reflected on the pages of this book. I know I have tried to pass off my fake id - attempting to fit into a one-size-fits-all motherhood mold. Caryn pointed out though the hypocrisy in encouraging my kids to develop as unique individuals while I gave up my identity at the motherhood door. That's not the sum of who God created me to be, and if I want to truly follow him I need to claim my full identity. Moms shouldn't feel guilty to be themselves, explore their gifts, and follow Christ. Caryn affirms that it's okay to be more than a mom, be upset at the stupid ways our culture treats moms, and admit our frustrations as moms. She affirms that we are not alone in dealing with the loneliness and loss of self that plagues the modern American mother. And that people who think that moms have all the free time in the world are just clueless.

But at the same time, this book provides resources in learning how to be content as a mom. This doesn't involve striving to be someone you are not (including the perfect domestic goddess mother). It doesn't limit mothers or try to strip them of their God-given talents and identity. But it does involve learning to be grateful for what we have right now - being thankful in all circumstances. But this is a contentment that also doesn't allow us to be held back by perceived limitations or our own insecurities. But to simply allow ourselves to be affirmed in who we truly are - and extend that affirmation to others. It's a call to moms to discard our fake ids and to question the expectations placed upon us (often by ourselves). This isn't about being selfish or self-consumed, but about being real. Being ourselves is just far healthier, more spiritually authentic, and provides a better example for our kids anyway.

So go buy the book - give it to all your friends, pass it out to your playgroup, give it to the church library - it's a book that needs to be read.

(and btw - the book cover actually isn't hot pink, it's a nice shade of red. Just thought I'd mention that for all of you who are like me and hate women's books that are pink...)
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for mamas April 10, 2009
Format:Paperback
As a husband and dad, I found this book to be a jewel. Well-written, witty, intelligent and hilarious at times, it kept me reading and learning the fake i.d. world my wife is in (and to which I often unknowingly contribute). The insights are making me a better husband - one that sees my wife as more than a mom and makes room for her real, God-given identity to flourish.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has been a blessing to my life April 22, 2011
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book brought me a lot of comfort and insight. I am not alone in my search to "known." This would be a great small group book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT READ!
I am thouroughly enjoying this book! Easy read. Very motivating. Look forward to reading each section / chapter. May be the 1st book I've actually FINISHED in years!
Published 6 months ago by MMcHenry
5.0 out of 5 stars Encouraging!
I just reread this book and again found it encouraging, funny, and insightful. I also struggled with my identity when I first became a mom and even though my children are not... Read more
Published on January 28, 2011 by Shayne Moore
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read for any female, not just mothers
"Mama's Got a Fake I.D.," by Caryn Dahlstrand Rivedeneira, is a great book for moms, anyone who has a mother, knows a mother, or has an identity to read. Read more
Published on May 24, 2010 by GodsDanceralwayz
5.0 out of 5 stars A Map for Motherhood: Buy the Book!
On a quiet morning in mid-March of 2008. A fellow professor and I were softly chatting in a library of the university where we served as professors. Read more
Published on September 20, 2009 by H. G. Scott
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally, some truth!
I'm a mom of two middle schoolers and an author of two devotionals for mothers which means a couple things --- a) I'm halfway through my mothering years and b) I've had the chance... Read more
Published on August 5, 2009 by Elisabeth Corcoran
4.0 out of 5 stars Blessing others through authentic identity
Caryn has dared to allow (and encourage) mothers to look beyond discovering and nurturing the identities of their offspring to include themselves in this marvelous quest. Read more
Published on June 2, 2009 by Karen L. Arneson
4.0 out of 5 stars Guide for Christian moms who dream of being more
Mama's Got a Fake I.D. by Caryn Dahlstrond-Rivadeneira is a compelling, if a bit controversial, look at the role of motherhood in today's Christian woman. Read more
Published on May 22, 2009 by Christina Lockstein
5.0 out of 5 stars Very worthwhile read
This book explores some key issues about who we are as mothers - what is means to have our identities rooted in Christ (first and foremost) and how this aligns with our role as... Read more
Published on May 5, 2009 by SBA
3.0 out of 5 stars good encouragement for moms
As mothers we can feel riddled with guilt over all that we are not doing to be the perfect mom. Caryn Rivadeneira speaks to those issues in this interesting book. Read more
Published on May 5, 2009 by Brian Dolleman
5.0 out of 5 stars Moms Are People, Too
My oldest sister, Linda, used to go "ballistic" whenever anyone introduced her as "Heather's mother" or "Kent's wife". She would use humor, but inform you, "I have a name. Read more
Published on May 1, 2009 by Connie Y. Mishali
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