The Man with the Beautiful Voice: And More Stories from the Other Side of the Couch [Paperback]

Lillian B. Rubin (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0807029270 | ISBN-13: 978-0807029275 | Publication Date: June 15, 2004

In her long career as a psychotherapist, acclaimed author Lillian Rubin occasionally encountered patients who demanded a very special, even unorthodox, therapeutic approach. For the first time, Dr. Rubin tells the stories of her most fascinating, most challenging cases from the other side of the couch, focusing not just on the patient, but on her own inner process as she confronts the issues each case raises.

"Entertaining and revealing, The Man With the Beautiful Voice includes accounts of patients who taught Rubin something important about herself—among them her very first patient."
—Susan Salter Reynolds, Los Angeles Times

"This daring and engrossing book offers a unique gift to readers: a window into the mind and the heart of both sides of the therapeutic relationship—the patient's and the therapist's. Only a writer and thinker as agile as Lillian Rubin could offer such compelling stories that tell us so much about the process of pain and healing for both patient and therapist."—Kim Chernin, author of The Hungry Self

"The seven case histories are riveting, Rubin's skills as a therapeutic sleuth are masterful, but the power of this remarkable book lies in the author's willingness to expose her radical self-doubt and her loving, caring heart."
—Letty Cottin Pogrebin, author of Three Daughters, Getting Over Getting Older, and Deborah, Golda, and Me

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

For her latest title, Rubin, a psychotherapist, takes a page from Oliver Sacks with this absorbing chronicle of seven of her most challenging cases. These "stories from the other side of the couch" attempt to explain to the lay reader what therapists mean when they refer to the "reciprocal dance" of treatment, in which patients "expect more than they should and we promise more than we can deliver." The patient of the title is a handicapped former Thalidomide baby whose deep rage over his malformed legs borders on the sociopathic. Rubin brings the reader into her office and her head as, year after year, she methodically coaxes the embittered man toward self-acceptance. Such success is elusive, however, and for every therapeutic triumph there are also patients who can't endure the self-scrutiny and simply give up. Rubin claims to be forever haunted by the suicide of one young graduate student whose treatment for profound depression seemed to be progressing with promise. Watching others lay themselves completely bare day after day takes an emotional toll on the therapist as well, and Rubin is completely honest about her own doubts and feelings of inadequacy as she gently attempts to build a trusting relationship with her patients. Hers is a humanistic, often unorthodox, approach, and she takes great pains to treat the fragile people who seek her out as equals. Therapists are generally trained to keep a detached, strictly clinical manner in the office; any physical contact is frowned upon. But it's a rule Rubin defiantly flouts: she's quick with a hug or a squeeze of the hand if she thinks the situation calls for it. In her writing, Rubin employs an efficient and deliberate-though not dry-narrative style peppered with keen insight and good humor. Each of these seven case studies stands alone as a unique, self-contained story that will have the reader rooting for what Rubin calls the "aha" moment, the "beginning of knowing" that marks a breakthrough in psychotherapy.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

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'Entertaining and revealing, The Man With the Beautiful Voice includes accounts of patients who taught Rubin something important about herself-among them her very first patient.' --Susan Salter Reynolds, Los Angeles Times

'This daring and engrossing book offers a unique gift to readers: a window into the mind and the heart of both sides of the therapeutic relationship-the patient's and the therapist's. Only a writer and thinker as agile as Lillian Rubin could offer such compelling stories that tell us so much about the process of pain and healing for both patient and therapist.'-Kim Chernin, author of The Hungry Self

'The seven case histories are riveting, Rubin's skills as a therapeutic sleuth are masterful, but the power of this remarkable book lies in the author's willingness to expose her radical self-doubt and her loving, caring heart.' --Letty Cottin Pogrebin, author of Three Daughters, Getting Over Getting Older, and Deborah, Golda, and Me

"Because she is a fine writer able to convey her own strong feelings and concern for her patients, Lillian Rubin has succeeded in making each of these clinical cases into a fascinating, well-paced, climactic story. A wonderful read." --Alix Kates Shulman, author of Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen

"It's not a therapist's technique or theoretical approach that really heals the patient, Rubin tells us. It's that more mysterious, step-by-step journey through the emphatic chambers of the human heart. The author of some of our very best works on social class, gender and family, Rubin takes us with her on her own journeys from both sides of the couch." --Arlie Hochschild, author of The Commercialization of Intimate Life and The Time Bind

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Beacon Press (June 15, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0807029270
• ISBN-13: 978-0807029275
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 3.2 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #424,612 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars, July 2, 2003

By 

Kelley Hunt (Texas, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Man with the Beautiful Voice: And More Stories from the Other Side of the Couch (Hardcover)

Dr. Rubin explains that there are a set of rules regarding the relationship between a patient and doctor and how she sometimes broke the rules to help her patients. She shows the soul-searching and thought processes that go into the decision to break the rules by describing interactions with some of her patients. She does a great job of describing these cases, building the tension for the reader who is wondering why the patient has come in for therapy; there is always a big payoff when the secret trauma suffered by each patient is revealed. This is a very short book and I found myself wishing it was longer. I could easily read 400 pages + of these gripping stories. The human drama never ceases to be interesting and the author has a talent for writing in simple yet artistic prose.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully crafted short stories, July 23, 2004

By 

HORAK (Zug, Switzerland) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Man with the Beautiful Voice: And More Stories from the Other Side of the Couch (Paperback)

Dr Rubin's stories are drawn from her clinical practice and her experience with her patients. The reader meets Eve Gordon who endured a harrowing childhood with her alcoholic parents; now 39, she lives a life of virtual isolation and desperately wants to become her therapist's friend. Many sessions are spent with Eve curled up in the corner of the practice without uttering a single word. Bruce Marins, a cripple - a "Thalidomide baby", a drug taken by his mother to cure her morning sickness - who rejects sympathy as being patronising, who feels anger and distrust of people around him and who sees deceit, pity and rejection wherever he turns. As Dr Rubin is about to greet Bonnie Paulsen and Jerry Stillman in her office, she is far from picturing the way these two patients are going to deceive her with their egregious lies and carefully plotted hoax - "How easily any patient can defeat even the most artful and accomplished therapist." she writes! Jake Garvin suffers from manic-depressive psychosis and so needs help because he's having trouble writing his dissertation for his degree. This is all the more urgent since the two job offers Jake has received depend on his finishing his dissertation. A case which will unfortunately end very tragically. Richard Durbin and Valerie Goldner are a yuppie couple. But why does Richard stubbornly refuse to have a child with Valerie? What mysterious event in his past makes him refuse to become a father? And finally there is the case of Delfina Ortega, a Mexican American, who was pregnant at 16, then became an excellent high school student graduating near the top of her class, who was subsequently awarded full scholarship to the university and then, when she was accepted to a graduate programme in Latin American history, she falls into a panic attack.
Dr Rubin's cases are a wonderful read for those of us who are mere laymen in the field of psychology.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Seeing the Whole Picture, February 18, 2007

By 

C "C" (California Bay Area) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Man with the Beautiful Voice: And More Stories from the Other Side of the Couch (Hardcover)

This book gives you an inside view of the therapist-patient relationship from the therapist point of view. It's enlightening to read how the relationship develops and how that impacts the patient's life. You can get a little bit of a feel for how therapy works and what happens. The book does a nice job of juxtaposing the 'rules' of how things are to be done and 'intuition' about how things should be done and the struggle between the two. My favorite chapter was the final one where the author shared her personal experience in therapy and what that relationship meant to her and did for her. A good read for a therapist or a client in therapy.