Customer Reviews

The Man of Her Dreams The Woman of His!

5 star:		(40)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

"The Man of Her Dreams, The Woman of His" really brings home the point about how spirituality is not determined by what you believe, but how you put those beliefs into practice. Joel and Kathy Davisson speak with complete honesty throughout, although I felt that one of the main reasons their marriage now works is because they have found a common goal (a common life purpose seems essential) and a way to heal the world through their own experience.

The way this book may change your life is through a realization of the basic needs of any human being. Respect and kindness go a long way in a marriage and the issues Joel and Kathy struggle with at the start of their marriage are probably the same issues their souls struggled with before they were married. Marriage amplified the problems and many times I think marriage is a place where your love for God is severely tested. It can at times feel like you are under constant attack until you finally realize that you may be your own worst enemy. Character flaws become especially painful in a marriage and by improving yourself and healing your past wounds, you can heal your marriage with love and understanding.

Kathy committed herself to her marriage even after physical, spiritual and emotional abuse. She believed there was hope, although this book says that a woman does not have to remain in a marriage if she is being physically abused. When her husband Joel had an affair, the marriage could have ended, but she decided to forgive.

This book is a beautiful story about what is possible when two souls decide to grow spiritually instead of continuing to control each other with a belief system. The idea of "spiritual" abuse makes sense and is not one I had considered before. This book is about a power struggle that turned into a struggle for love's completion. The couple's fear of intimacy, selfish actions and unkind words eventually had to be dealt with because they went against everything a marriage is supposed to be.

When Joel and Kathy decide to "embrace a new paradigm" they suddenly break free from the old restrictive traditions of their belief system and they enter a place of mutual respect, kindness and deep consideration for each other's spiritual growth. I cried and laughed (I read my husband the story of THE NOTE which was hilarious) while reading this book, it was so real! I hope you will read this book and try the new power-sharing paradigm in your relationship. Some of the great ideas in this book include:

A man's responsibility to meet his wife's needs
A woman's responsibility to understand her husband's needs
Living what you believe - the challenge of trying to live a spiritual life
Golden Keys - Ideas to open the heart of any woman
Ways to show love that are unmistakable and undeniable
Why you should turn up the heat in your relationship


I'm happy the authors were so honest about their lives because I think many times in religious communities, people are afraid to admit they are human and are struggling with incredible pressures from society.

This book will give you hope and if you are struggling in a relationship that seems chaotic and unsatisfying, give yourself the patience you deserve. It can take years to put the principles in this book into practice, but your marriage is worth saving! In two or three years, you may look back at the day you decided to stay in your marriage and realize that you are now happier than you ever thought you could be.

~The Rebecca Review

*****
This book introduces and effectively communicates a radically different message to Christian couples regarding marriage. In my opinion, it is more Scripturally accurate and far, far more effective than what is currently being taught in American churches---which has not so far been able to significantly impact a 50% plus divorce rate among Christian couples. If the tenets of this book are implemented, the healing of marriages will result.

The book is written in a conversational style and in a gentle way, slowly leading the reader to be able to accept of the harder and more challenging aspects of this route to healing. I will detail some of the points here, but I hesitate to go into too much depth because they do put a great deal of responsibility on husbands who, just reading them in a list here and out of the context of the book, may just reject them as being too hard or undoable. They are not easy, but they are absolutely doable.

Here are some points:
Marriage is God's gift to men and women.
To have a happy and enduring marriage, couples must overcome their carnal natures.
Men must take the initiative in doing this; if they accept this responsibility and implement it, women will be successful in responding.
If men will not initiate, the marriage will be miserable and possibly or even probably fail.
If women initiate instead, they will prolong the marriage, but also enable the men to persist in selfishness and immaturity. In this case, it probably also means that the marriage will fail.

I recommend this book especially to husbands in troubled marriages because it will equip them to begin to find a way to save their marriages. To continue the process, I also recommend the second book in this series by Joe and Kathy Davisson, "The Man of Her Dreams The Woman of His 2 - Livin' It and Lovin' It! (Volume 2)".

I recommend this book to wives in troubled marriages because it will comfort and empower them. This is what it did for me. It pointed out and highlighted the error in current Christian teaching that had trapped me in unhealthy ways of thinking, especially unconditional submission.

I recommend this book to anyone in Christian ministry or who works with troubled Christian marriages. It would also be helpful to couples of other faiths who would be interested in applying the principles; however, the book is heavily Christian in orientation and filled with Bible verses. WARNING: They are not the usual "submissive wife" and "leader husband" interpretations that are prevalent in churches today. If you are tired of what seems to be ineffective Biblical interpretations and truly want a happy and loving and Christian marriage, do not miss this book.

Especially---especially---if you are a woman who has submitted for years to a selfish and immature man---and are at the end of your rope---but you love God and want to be obedient---read this book!

Very highly recommended.
*****

Joel and Kathy's first book found it's way into my hands during a dark recovery phase in my life. It was truly a Godsend and helped clarify why yet another marriage had failed. The God-inspired truth that this book so clearly explains is, without a doubt, the guidebook to having a deliriously happy marriage. I have purchased many copies to use in my own ministry and have seen amazing changes in the lives of others. I am certain that I would not be a divorcee today if this book had entered my life earlier and my husband had been open to the truth it reveals. I decided that if there was ever to be another man in my life, this book would be required reading for him. God sent just that man and he also agrees that the principles and guidelines outlined in this book are right in line with God's plan for a happy and successful marriage. The book is not just informative, but easy, interesting reading. God bless Joel and Kathy for putting themselves in His service to show others how they overcame the problems they faced and discovered these truths for themselves. I am excited to read the follow up book, Livin' It and Lovin' It.

Having read the book, I came away troubled. Something just didn't fit with what they are saying. To the plus side, I think there is a lot of useful information. I've struggled with what it truly means to die to oneself as Christ did for the church. This was helpful in that. I also think that men in general are prideful and don't always think of others first, and the book was helpful in that.

What troubled me were my take aways on core assumptions in this book: The husband is always the abuser; until he gives his heart to God and listens to his wifes heart he will stay immature; His wife will always respond to him in time if he listens to her heart and meets her needs; The wife is never at fault; She will naturally repsond to his needs if she is taken care of first.

I think this is true for a subset of troubled marriages, and I'm glad if it worked for many couples of selfish, abusive, controlling husbands. I don't think this is a one size fits all solution to marriage problems.

I do think the husband needs to listen to his wife, especially when she is talking form the heart about her needs. I've read in more than one place that God writes a marriage manual on each women's heart, the man needs to die to oneself to listen to it, she will tell him what he needs to know. On the other hand, women are fallen creatures also, with foibles, hurts, damage. Some of these prescriptions can be turned on the man to control him, and not in a Godly way.

The book was written by a couple in the grips of a controlling abusive relationship. I don't think that is everyone's story. I think we are all capable of some of these behaviors, and these behaviors have differing motivations for manifesting. In my experience, a man can listen to what a women is saying and the communication is off because men and women communicate in fundamentally different ways (Men are from Mars, Women from Vensus). Men tend to be literal and women tend to be subtle and indirect. The intended meaning totally lost. Men tend to communicate facts, and women emotions. The emotional language tends to provide unclear information to a male mind.

The interpretation of some to many bible quotations didn't correlate well with things I've read elsewhere. My take away is this, since many people have differeing temperments, the proliferation of churchs is designed to attract people that match the differing temperments, I think this may have a place for a couple struggling with the problems this couple had.

I found the book to be helpful, but got more out of "The Secrets of Happpily Married Men" & "His Needs, Her Needs".

What a powerful book! Joel teaches men how they need to submit to God and learn how to treat their wives the way God has commanded. It all starts with the husband, as the priest of the home. If all men would realize that every woman desires a Godly husband who will treat her the way God commanded, then healing of marriages would manifest. Joel and Kathy really nailed it with this book! We look forward to more books in the future...

The man of her dreams, the woman of his. I enjoyed reading it. I was surprised to hear Joel admit to his faults, which men rarely do. It's always the woman who does. You both touched on many points that ministers to the marriage. Well done! I wish you great success.

I hear people say a lot of things "Changed their lives!" I have watched many people talk about losing large amounts of weight, getting a college degree, or even giving their lives to Christ, and how it impacted them and changed their lives. Well, this is one of "those" things that I can say changed my life! I read this book and it challenged some of my long held beliefs, and gave me a completely new and accurate way of viewing the Bible!

I can also tell you about the 3 examples above, because I have done all 3 and "life changing" things DO NOT COME EASY, and require deep changes!! This book will call you to make deep change and I promise it will be WORTH IT!

If you are willing...you can be REBORN! A new self can emerge that will be the difference between a caterpillar and the subsequent butterfly! But remember there has to be the pupa phase, and this book will help initiate that...and just image the beauty that can come from it!
It is worth it! You can do it! Read this book and put it into practice!
Blessings!!

My husband and I were struggling with issues left over by a stepfamily marriage. It was hard to overcome the past. Joel and Kathy's book opened the doors to reminding us that God has a plan for marriage, for husbands and wives. All the things that were described in this initial book jumped out at me: "Yes, true, Yes, wow, Yes..." I am a godly wife and have been praying for a miracle. My husband has been reading and absorbing!!!

"The Man of Her Dreams the Woman of His" should be pre-requisite reading for every engaged couple. Joel and Kathy teach valuable, EASY, solutions with biblical foundations for both men and women on marriage. This teaching is so simple one wonders why we all find marriage so hard. After reading this book a failed and doomed marriage began the journey into light. This book saved our marriage. With open eyes and a Christian heart it will save yours also.
Marty and Angela Howard

Perhaps one of the hardest hit areas in our Christian walk is in the arena of family and especially in marriage. Nothing seems to outrage the enemy of our faith more than a strong, loving marriage, with couples walking in the true light of fellowship with each other. Sadly, it appears that many true loving Christians can't seem to allow the love of God to flow in their own personal relationship in marriage; now there is hope for many in this book by Joel and Kathy Davisson.
In this work Joel and Kathy openly discuss the problems that they faced in their marriage. Although they were followers of Christ it seemed the concept didn't flow within their relationship one to another. Mixed emotions, anger, resentment, disappointments, deep hurts and wrong interruption of some of God's Word led to unfulfilled existences for both of them. They knew something was wrong but didn't know how to fix it until God intervened with revelation that set them free.
In this work this wonderful couple freely share the many pitfalls that they were in and show you how God led them out. They do this in an honest, easy to understand way and give you explanations of the how's and why's. I think what I loved the most about this book is the clear way they show that Jesus is the Master and we all have our part to play in His Kingdom, equally. If you want a true loving Christian relationship with your husband/wife this is a must read for you. Some of the solutions may cause a few 'ouches' along the way but I promise you if you implement these truths into your marriage you truly can have, " The Man of Her Dreams -The Woman of His." Recommended!
Shirley Johnson
Senior Reviewer
MidWest Book Review