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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A clear arguement for "why search?",
By A Customer
This review is from: A Man and His Mother: An Adopted Son's Search (Hardcover)
It may not be an autobiographical masterpiece, but Tim Green's book is solid and thoughtful, and provides a valuable educational service. It presents the searching adoptee as a sane, rational person who is driven to do whatever he has to do to find the truth that is being hidden from him by a closed adoption system. I'd recommend it to adoptees who are thinking about searching. As a bonus, it is one of the few such books written from the male prospective.
The Kirkus Review sounds as if it were written from the point of view of someone who believes that adoptees should shut up and be grateful. It mentions the fact that Tim Green's parents were "hurt" by his search, as if this should have stopped him from looking, as if adoptees should not look because it might "hurt" their adoptive parents. And the fact that he had to "trade on his fame" to get access to records that are all but inaccessible to the average New York state resident is an indictment of the current sealed records laws, not of Green. In addition, I believe the reviewer missed the point in saying that Green had to "learn" the real meaning of parenting by having his own children - I got the idea that Green deeply appreciated the love and support of his parents all along, although he probably should have made more effort to tell them so.
The need to find your genetics, heredity, and heritage is absolutely unrelated to your parents or your upbringing (good or bad); it comes from inside you. This is the point that the majority of people who aren't adopted just don't understand. I thought Tim Green communicated this well, but the Kirkus reviewer, perhaps blinded by his/her own biases, seems to have missed that message.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
TRUTHFUL, HONEST & TEARFUL,
By
This review is from: A Man and His Mother: An Adopted Son's Search (Hardcover)
I, too, am adopted, so I read this book with great interest. Green's story is similar to mine so I was very engrossed in finding out what happened in his search. I welled-up with tears in many sections of the book reliving my thoughts, reunions and fears. Very personal story, but very personably written. A must for all who are adopted! You will understand, and have compassion for, many of Green's emotions.
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
thoughtful and well-written from the adoptee's point of view,
By A Customer
This review is from: A Man and His Mother: An Adopted Son's Search (Hardcover)
I read Tim Green's Book twice, once before beginning my search, and again after finding my birth-mother last month. I understood all too well his feelings of rejection and the need to pile up credits to "validate" himself The Kirkus reviewer clearly doesn't understand the emotional struggle of an adoptee to reconcile their almost primal need to search and connect with their past and the fear of hurting the people they love so much, their adopted parents! It is unfair that they should be placed in this position in the first place, by laws that consider the rights and feelings of all members of the triad except the adoptee. My second reading of Tim Geen's book was
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