Man in the Middle chronicles John Amaechi's extraordinary journey from awkward,overweight English lad to jet-setting NBA star. Along the way, he endured endless obstacles to his hoop dreamsbeing abandoned by his father, being cut from his first college team, recovering from a life-threatening injury, playing for abusive coaches, and losing his mother -- while also protecting a vital secret that could have ended his career: John Amaechi was gay. Now in this poignant and intimate memoir, Amaechi takes us into the hypermasculine world of professional sports and into the very center of his soul. As tender as it is brutally frank, Man in the Middle follows him from the rough streets of Manchester to Penn State (where he first achieved basketball stardom and began to recognize his sexuality) to the cities (Orlando, Houston, Salt Lake City) and countries (Greece, France) in which he played. A moving story of adversity and diversity, Man in the Middle is a testament to the power of one man's convictions and to the universal desire to make the world a better place.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
John Amaechi played in the NBA for six seasons and was honored by the basketball Hall of Fame for scoring the first points of the new millenium. In 2001, he formed the ABC Foundation and built the Amaechi Basketball Centre (he plans to build five more) in his hometown of Manchester, England, dedicated to personal excellence, mentoring, and counseling young people through sport. He is also the founder of Animus Consulting and a regular commentator.
Chris Bull, co-founder of QueerCity.com, is the author of several books, including Going the Other Way (with Billy Bean) and Perfect Enemies (with John Gallagher). A former Washington correspondent for The Advocate, he is a recipient of the 2000 Alicia Patterson Journalism Fellowship and has written for publications including The Washington Post and ESPN The Magazine. He lives in San Francisco.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
50 of 54 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Full disclosure: I was actually a fan of the man known as "Meech" back in his "pre-gay" days, when he was "merely" a center for the Orlando Magic (albeit a tea-drinking, poetry-writing center - none of which are gay per se, just highly unusual for NBA big men). I had no knowledge of his sexual orientation until this book was announced. I just knew of him as an articulate, funny, hard-working and self-effacing gentleman - an unlikely success story in the world of professional athletics, to be sure. The British version of Rudy, perhaps...
So I fully acknowledge that just because I really liked this book doesn't necessarily mean you will. After all, I am the most ready-made of target audiences, already holding the author in high esteem. But please allow me, in this review, to introduce you to Mr. John Amaechi and give you a sampling of his words. And hopefully once familiar with this wonderful fellow you will be encouraged to see for yourself just what he has to impart.
First off, let me say that with most sports books that are co-written with another author, you would be right to be cynical about words like "gregariousness" and "miscreants" (and phrases like "a bonanza of flesh") appearing in the prose. You'd be forgiven for finding it highly unlikely a pro athlete would write like that. But anyone who has heard John's spoken eloquence (or read his website poetry) knows that these would not be surprising word choices for him.
And one of the best things about this book is the joy in the language - John has always been a bit of a "word nerd" of sorts, so this offering comes loaded with a colorful vernacular and some nifty turns of phrase (I think "barmy armies" is my favorite - used to describe the truly fanatical basketball fans in Europe. That would make a great band name, come to think of it - somebody get on that!). I honestly wish I knew why John even needed a co-author in this case (grammar police? Motivator?).
That said, the book itself could have used a better editor - it's a little bogged down with typos (every 20 pages or so) and technical errors (the same sentence is repeated on p.6, for example). But John's words and stories are so effervescent and uplifting, that they ultimately rise above most of the technical difficulties.
So who is John Amaechi? Well, he's so much more than "the gay NBA player" and he has a lot more to say. I understand that his being the first pro basketball player to come out of the closet is "the hook" of this book, and maybe why many are interested in it. And I'm not downplaying the importance of a gay professional athlete coming out in this day and age. But for those who read this knowing only of Ameachi as "the gay player," they are in for a surprise - there are so many other interesting and evocative things about the man that are here to be found.
And while we're on the subject, a word (actually, two paragraphs) of caution: For those of you who are only interested in the "homosexual aspect" of his story, I think you will be disappointed, as talk of his experience as a gay man accounts for only about one tenth of this book: though hinted at, it doesn't even begin in earnest until about 40% of the way through (p.110 of 290, if you're scoring at home - or even if you're alone. (I stole that line from Sportscenter, by the way)). And it's not discussed again until p.140, where interesting assertions about the intermingling of gay and sport cultures are made: "It's not so much that there's a repressed homosexuality at play...only that there's a tremendous fear that the behavior might be labeled as such...that gay men in the locker room would somehow violate this sacred space by sexualizing it."
Amaechi spent most of his early days very unaware of his orientation, and he put the issue aside through most of his career (his sister referred to him as "asexual"). So while John has some noteworthy and sometimes even vital insights regarding life as a gay pro athlete, if you're looking for solely that aspect, I think this book will fall short of your expectation.
The good news is, he has so much more to offer: I read with fascination things I never knew about his mother's extraordinary life, John's growing up under the threat of kidnap, and his remarkable transformation from an awkward, out-of-shape, self-described "whale" who hated (and still hates) physical exertion to someone who "for a shining season in Orlando...had been a fantastic NBA player." His first impressions of America are particularly amusing, and his "foreign" take (in the best kind of "distance adds perspective" way) on everything from racism to guns to parenting makes for an absorbing read.
More than that, what really shines through is the integrity and humanity of this gentle giant. In many ways, this book also works on the level of a self-help or inspirational guide, with Amaechi leading with both his words and deeds. Early in life, he constructed something he calls "The Plan," and while "The Eleven Rungs" it's comprised of aren't especially groundbreaking or original, they do help greatly in understanding the what lies at the core of this unique man and what makes him successful.
"...it's about truly understanding yourself," he writes on p.50, "My goal...was also a moral one: I had to conduct myself in a way that was consistent with the ideals I'd been brought up with. Identifying them and applying them would be as important as, say, improving my rebounding. How many times do hear about young NBA players who, having earned millions and achieved stardom have nothing left to give? In the unlikely event that I achieved my goal [of becoming an NBA player], it would only be the beginning, not the end."
Though "Man In The Middle" is far from being a masterpiece (it is, as Amaechi himself might say, "a trifle"), I still found it a highly enjoyable way to spend some more time with the funny and insightful man I've always been a fan of, and the added layer of his struggle with his sexuality is only that - an added layer.
So I fully acknowledge that just because I really liked this book doesn't necessarily mean you will. After all, I am the most ready-made of target audiences, already holding the author in high esteem. But please allow me, in this review, to introduce you to Mr. John Amaechi and give you a sampling of his words. And hopefully once familiar with this wonderful fellow you will be encouraged to see for yourself just what he has to impart.
First off, let me say that with most sports books that are co-written with another author, you would be right to be cynical about words like "gregariousness" and "miscreants" (and phrases like "a bonanza of flesh") appearing in the prose. You'd be forgiven for finding it highly unlikely a pro athlete would write like that. But anyone who has heard John's spoken eloquence (or read his website poetry) knows that these would not be surprising word choices for him.
And one of the best things about this book is the joy in the language - John has always been a bit of a "word nerd" of sorts, so this offering comes loaded with a colorful vernacular and some nifty turns of phrase (I think "barmy armies" is my favorite - used to describe the truly fanatical basketball fans in Europe. That would make a great band name, come to think of it - somebody get on that!). I honestly wish I knew why John even needed a co-author in this case (grammar police? Motivator?).
That said, the book itself could have used a better editor - it's a little bogged down with typos (every 20 pages or so) and technical errors (the same sentence is repeated on p.6, for example). But John's words and stories are so effervescent and uplifting, that they ultimately rise above most of the technical difficulties.
So who is John Amaechi? Well, he's so much more than "the gay NBA player" and he has a lot more to say. I understand that his being the first pro basketball player to come out of the closet is "the hook" of this book, and maybe why many are interested in it. And I'm not downplaying the importance of a gay professional athlete coming out in this day and age. But for those who read this knowing only of Ameachi as "the gay player," they are in for a surprise - there are so many other interesting and evocative things about the man that are here to be found.
And while we're on the subject, a word (actually, two paragraphs) of caution: For those of you who are only interested in the "homosexual aspect" of his story, I think you will be disappointed, as talk of his experience as a gay man accounts for only about one tenth of this book: though hinted at, it doesn't even begin in earnest until about 40% of the way through (p.110 of 290, if you're scoring at home - or even if you're alone. (I stole that line from Sportscenter, by the way)). And it's not discussed again until p.140, where interesting assertions about the intermingling of gay and sport cultures are made: "It's not so much that there's a repressed homosexuality at play...only that there's a tremendous fear that the behavior might be labeled as such...that gay men in the locker room would somehow violate this sacred space by sexualizing it."
Amaechi spent most of his early days very unaware of his orientation, and he put the issue aside through most of his career (his sister referred to him as "asexual"). So while John has some noteworthy and sometimes even vital insights regarding life as a gay pro athlete, if you're looking for solely that aspect, I think this book will fall short of your expectation.
The good news is, he has so much more to offer: I read with fascination things I never knew about his mother's extraordinary life, John's growing up under the threat of kidnap, and his remarkable transformation from an awkward, out-of-shape, self-described "whale" who hated (and still hates) physical exertion to someone who "for a shining season in Orlando...had been a fantastic NBA player." His first impressions of America are particularly amusing, and his "foreign" take (in the best kind of "distance adds perspective" way) on everything from racism to guns to parenting makes for an absorbing read.
More than that, what really shines through is the integrity and humanity of this gentle giant. In many ways, this book also works on the level of a self-help or inspirational guide, with Amaechi leading with both his words and deeds. Early in life, he constructed something he calls "The Plan," and while "The Eleven Rungs" it's comprised of aren't especially groundbreaking or original, they do help greatly in understanding the what lies at the core of this unique man and what makes him successful.
"...it's about truly understanding yourself," he writes on p.50, "My goal...was also a moral one: I had to conduct myself in a way that was consistent with the ideals I'd been brought up with. Identifying them and applying them would be as important as, say, improving my rebounding. How many times do hear about young NBA players who, having earned millions and achieved stardom have nothing left to give? In the unlikely event that I achieved my goal [of becoming an NBA player], it would only be the beginning, not the end."
Though "Man In The Middle" is far from being a masterpiece (it is, as Amaechi himself might say, "a trifle"), I still found it a highly enjoyable way to spend some more time with the funny and insightful man I've always been a fan of, and the added layer of his struggle with his sexuality is only that - an added layer.
25 of 32 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Most famous gay people are really famous people who happen to be gay. Being a writer is what put Oscar Wilde in the spotlight; being the First Lady is what did the same for Eleanor Roosevelt. John Amaechi's life is the exact same way. This book is 95% about life before and in the NBA, period. A straight person who wants to be a basketball star could find this just as useful as a person struggling to accept being gay. Governor James McGreevey and Mr. Amaechi both visited what the British call "cottages," but just as McGreevey's autobiography was mostly about politics and a little about being gay, so Amaechi's book is mostly about his profession.
That being said, homophobes, and of course I disagree strongly with such bigotry, could pick apart this book and the man's life. John Amaechi had an absent father and a strong mother: the recipe that many bigoted people say would make a male gay. Amaechi is a political liberal who loves writing poetry and drinking tea. He also hates guns proliferation and doesn't really care for sports. Again, bigoted readers may dismiss him as a stereotypical gay man, despite his accomplishment as the first NBA player to come out. Amaechi's witty urbanity will rub many "red-blooded, all-American" sports fans the wrong way.
Though there are more out football players than basketball players, Amaechi makes the NBA sound far less homophobic than Esera Tuaolo described of the NFL. Tuaolo said he feared for his bodily safety and that footballer players spouted homophobia constantly. Amaechi never describes fearing for his life and he minimally talks of homophobia in the NBA. Moreover, Tuaolo basically said NFL players could lose their jobs in an instant. Though unhappy about his many transfers, Amaechi made the NBA sound like players have much better job security.
Almost every autobiography about gay male athletes has a photo section in it, yet this one doesn't. Rebecca Walker gave a speech in which she said serious memoirs aren't supposed to include photos. Though Amaechi is highly intelligent and sophisticated, this is a chatty book that everyday readers can pick up. Without photos, we never see if his parents were tall, what his sisters looked like, what he looked like as a child, how drastically his weight changed, etc. Sometimes Amaechi suggests he has "low self-esteem" (I use scare quotes because I hate that overused term) and I wonder if that plays into the camera-shyness of the book.
Amaechi said he wears a size 15 shoe. If you are superstitious, then you know what that means! He often refers to being taunted as a "whale," but remember how the main character in Terry McMillan's novel "Disappearing Acts" went on and on about how she loves tall, Black men? Like Tuaolo, Amaechi underestimates his hotness. He describes gay friends much more than gay partners. For both athletes, I wonder if that is done in response to squeamish readers.
I wish Amaechi had said more about his Blackness. He described going to visits patients with his mother, a Caucasian doctor, and doesn't mention if they faced problems. Maybe Britain is different from the US, but many biracial people Stateside have talked about how people mistreat them with they are out with their white mothers. It's great that Amaechi played a father figure for two teens who happen to be white. However, what has he done for Black children? Barack Obama, a biracial African, visited his father's village and prides himself on his Kenyan ancestry. Amaechi never says anything about helping Nigerians, or specifically Ibos. He never mentions donating money to Morehouse. Large numbers of African-American athletes are interested in "lifting as they climb," it disappoints me that Amaechi doesn't try to help us brothers and sisters more. Amaechi frequently talks of "playing the down low," but he means something far different from J.L. King's books.
Related to the first comment that this book is not gay-heavy in content, Amaechi focuses much more on his lifelong struggles with weight. Readers, beyond sexual, racial, or gender-based identities that struggle with the pounds, may relate to this. Those who liked autobiographies from C. Manheim or M. Cho (both who have kicked it with members of the same sex) may appreciate Amaechi's talk on this topic. For a foreigner, Amaechi lives all over the United States and travel buffs may be interested in his experiences.
That being said, homophobes, and of course I disagree strongly with such bigotry, could pick apart this book and the man's life. John Amaechi had an absent father and a strong mother: the recipe that many bigoted people say would make a male gay. Amaechi is a political liberal who loves writing poetry and drinking tea. He also hates guns proliferation and doesn't really care for sports. Again, bigoted readers may dismiss him as a stereotypical gay man, despite his accomplishment as the first NBA player to come out. Amaechi's witty urbanity will rub many "red-blooded, all-American" sports fans the wrong way.
Though there are more out football players than basketball players, Amaechi makes the NBA sound far less homophobic than Esera Tuaolo described of the NFL. Tuaolo said he feared for his bodily safety and that footballer players spouted homophobia constantly. Amaechi never describes fearing for his life and he minimally talks of homophobia in the NBA. Moreover, Tuaolo basically said NFL players could lose their jobs in an instant. Though unhappy about his many transfers, Amaechi made the NBA sound like players have much better job security.
Almost every autobiography about gay male athletes has a photo section in it, yet this one doesn't. Rebecca Walker gave a speech in which she said serious memoirs aren't supposed to include photos. Though Amaechi is highly intelligent and sophisticated, this is a chatty book that everyday readers can pick up. Without photos, we never see if his parents were tall, what his sisters looked like, what he looked like as a child, how drastically his weight changed, etc. Sometimes Amaechi suggests he has "low self-esteem" (I use scare quotes because I hate that overused term) and I wonder if that plays into the camera-shyness of the book.
Amaechi said he wears a size 15 shoe. If you are superstitious, then you know what that means! He often refers to being taunted as a "whale," but remember how the main character in Terry McMillan's novel "Disappearing Acts" went on and on about how she loves tall, Black men? Like Tuaolo, Amaechi underestimates his hotness. He describes gay friends much more than gay partners. For both athletes, I wonder if that is done in response to squeamish readers.
I wish Amaechi had said more about his Blackness. He described going to visits patients with his mother, a Caucasian doctor, and doesn't mention if they faced problems. Maybe Britain is different from the US, but many biracial people Stateside have talked about how people mistreat them with they are out with their white mothers. It's great that Amaechi played a father figure for two teens who happen to be white. However, what has he done for Black children? Barack Obama, a biracial African, visited his father's village and prides himself on his Kenyan ancestry. Amaechi never says anything about helping Nigerians, or specifically Ibos. He never mentions donating money to Morehouse. Large numbers of African-American athletes are interested in "lifting as they climb," it disappoints me that Amaechi doesn't try to help us brothers and sisters more. Amaechi frequently talks of "playing the down low," but he means something far different from J.L. King's books.
Related to the first comment that this book is not gay-heavy in content, Amaechi focuses much more on his lifelong struggles with weight. Readers, beyond sexual, racial, or gender-based identities that struggle with the pounds, may relate to this. Those who liked autobiographies from C. Manheim or M. Cho (both who have kicked it with members of the same sex) may appreciate Amaechi's talk on this topic. For a foreigner, Amaechi lives all over the United States and travel buffs may be interested in his experiences.
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
By Sandy Meyer
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
John Amaechi's book chronicles the life of a young man who has dedicated himself to helping others achieve their best. His respect, love, and dedication to his mother, who raised three children by herself, is admirable. His perspective on family, especially the mother/son relationship, illustrates what unconditional love is all about. The book is not necessarily a "coming out" but rather a commentary on those who have touched John's life for better and for worse. However, the statement that the book makes concerning gay athletes definitely needs to be heard by everyone, not just homophobic athletes and coaches in the NBA. John's message that we are all human beings with our own strengths and weaknesses is more of a testimony to who he is rather than to his sexual orientation. John's candor, his cynicism, and his sincerity make this book a must read for everyone.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
writes great
It's an easy read and it's like having a real conversation with someone telling their own story. I would recommend the book.
Published 2 months ago by Kelly Mickey
5.0 out of 5 stars
Feedback for Amazon Seller
The book I ordered through an Amazon merchant arrived within a reasonable amount of time (about 1 week). The book was in the condition as advertised. Read more
Published on May 17, 2011 by Refused
4.0 out of 5 stars
Amaechi recognizes his soul in the dark...
At ten years old, little John Amaechi was not so little. Almost six-feet tall and overweight, he stood out in his predominately white school in Manchester, England. Read more
Published on March 8, 2010 by Taylor Siluwé
4.0 out of 5 stars
great read
Purchased this book not sure what to expect and I could not put it down! Written really well! Am glad it is now in my collection!Man in the Middle
Published on August 24, 2009 by Derrick Pfeister
1.0 out of 5 stars
A simple read
When I read an autobiography, I assume that the author has chosen to reveal something about themselves - and if it's really well written, I'll find that those truths will shed a... Read more
Published on February 5, 2009 by Matt
5.0 out of 5 stars
autobiography
a great book. shows what happens when a person can't be their real authenic selves.
Published on November 2, 2007 by M. Randle
4.0 out of 5 stars
Amaechi Quite the Humanitarian
I purchased this book prior to attending a presentation that Mr. Amaechi made to a large group of educators (I didn't get to read the book until after hearing him speak). Read more
Published on October 29, 2007 by Guy V. De Rosa
2.0 out of 5 stars
"So What..."
From reading this book, it was not clear as to why Mr. Amaechi took the time to write it. He appears guarded about most of his life experiences except those involving his mother. Read more
Published on July 23, 2007 by John C. Barfield
5.0 out of 5 stars
Better than I expected
I originally thought this was another tell-all book on the secret lives of downlow basketball players. But it wasn't and this is a good thing. Read more
Published on July 2, 2007 by John Wilkerson
5.0 out of 5 stars
good book about making the most out of hardship
I thought the book was inspiring. John Amaechi comes though as romantic compasionate, level headed, and resilient. Read more
Published on May 6, 2007 by C. Zanowski
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