The Management Secrets of T. John Dick [Paperback]

Augustus Gump (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2003

He's never wrong-- never makes a mistake. And don't bother him with petty details like what his company actually makes. He's a man of vision, preoccupied with the big picture. And he's a man of supreme confidence in his own abilities, invisible to all but himself. Transferred from corporate HQ in Boston to a newly acquired company in a sleepy North Carolina town, bumbling marketing executive T. John Dick wastes no time in applying his unique management style to his hapless colleagues. But it's not easy being the only true professional in a company full of incompetents. Why will nobody observe his elaborate new Meeting Room Reservation Procedure? Why does the company's biggest customer threaten to set his dogs on him if he ever comes near him again? And why does his arch-rival seem to be winning the race for the company's top job despite T.J.'s obviously superior qualifications? T.J.'s unique management style leads him into a series of hilarious and occasionally fatal mishaps. Who else could inadvertently dispatch the company chairman during a celebration of two million accident free work hours - or lock his successor in the bathroom for hours in a misguided attempt to impress him? Should he have had that plate of shrimps before an important presentation? Why is he discovered naked with a maintenance man during the company's annual sales meeting? And what is that smoke coming from his golf pants? The book culminates in a very eventful company sales meeting at a luxury resort, where TJ's single-minded pursuit of the company's top job result in his usual brand of mayhem. When he's not exasperating his colleagues, or applying his management techniques to his marriage, T. J. lets us in on some of his management secrets -- how to achieve the streamlined desk of an executive with vision, stress management through performance reviews and the important psychological impact of having doughnuts at your meetings. No wonder the book carries a guarantee that it will teach you nothing of any value!

Editorial Reviews

Review

Imagine if the pointy haired Boss from Dilbert wrote his own version of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and you have an idea of the type of facetious advice offered in The Management Secrets of T. John Dick... ...If you work in an office, pick up a copy of this book. You'll definitely laugh. And you may cry too, because T. John Dick is too close to the truth. --Greensboro News & Record

Any book that begins with a guarantee to teach readers nothing of value or give insight into anything is destined to be a classic. The Management Secrets of T. John Dick is no exception. ...The book is laugh out loud funny… Gump takes us deep inside T.J's head where the other characters are outlined through his eyes. These characters are well drawn, even though they are not always as T.J. sees them. They reveal their true selves in dialogue exchanges with T.J. and his character is deepened in how he interprets these remarks. --Hickory Daily Record

From the Publisher

The Management Secrets of T. John Dick Guarantee

“The Management Secrets of T. John Dick” will teach you nothing of any value. It will not make you a better manager. It will not provide a valuable insight into anything. We guarantee it.

If this book should provide an insight of any kind or prove to to be a source of inspiration in any way, please contact the the publisher immediately with full details.

"The Management Secrets of T. John Dick" is the perfect antidote to the serried ranks of worthy business tomes that assault the weary traveler in airport bookstores, and will raise a chuckle with anyone who's ever been touched by the corporate world - managers, secretaries, engineers, or just anyone who feels the need of a good laugh. Perhaps people should give a copy to their boss!

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 268 pages
• Publisher: The Mainland Press (April 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0970874693
• ISBN-13: 978-0970874696
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,417,174 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Augustus Gump is probably the most famous author currently living on his street. In 2005 and again in 2009 he did not win a Pulitzer prize. His books have been described as "quite good" and "rather funny."

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Dilbert in prose, January 14, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Management Secrets of T. John Dick (Paperback)

This book is the prose equivalent of the cartoon strip Dilbert. All the characters are there - the clueless boss, the lazy and dishonest employee and the hardworking employee who never seems to get any support. We're only missing Dogbert. Anyone who has ever worked in Manufacturing will find many of the situations truly hilarious.

This was a very funny and witty book. I found myself laughing out loud at some of the situations when I read them, and laughing even harder hours later when I had a chance to digest them. I look forward to the next book from this author.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't hesitate - it is very funny!, April 24, 2002

By 

Graeme Ingham (MA, United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Management Secrets of T. John Dick (Paperback)

There are some parts of this book which are laugh-out-loud funny. The rest of it will have you rolling. It is definitely recommended for those with a sardonic sense of humour. I, for one, can recognize some of my fellow co-workers (past and present) in the character of T. John Dick. Worst of all, I think we share some traits.
I gave it as a gift to some of my colleagues and they all loved it.
Don't hesitate - you won't regret it.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A very enjoyable read, November 28, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: The Management Secrets of T. John Dick (Paperback)

"The Management Secrets of T. John Dick" is a thoroughly enjoyable book. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions, as well as wincing in recognition at the kind of incompetence only too familiar to anyone who has ever worked in any kind of company environment. What really makes you chuckle is the character of T. J. himself. No matter what mayhem he causes, it's never his fault - sound like anyone you know?
The book gets more and more enjoyable, the further you get into it, as T. J. somehow finds increasingly elaborate and and ridiculous ways to make a complete chump of himself, culminating in a truly hilarious round of golf with the Company President, during which a bizarre chain of events lead to a fire in our hero's pants.
Although they are always seen through the filter of T. J.'s unique view of the universe of which he forms the center, other characters too are interesting and fun, especially Ronnie, T. J.'s laconic nemesis, Hans, the ebullient German acting President of the company, and Grace, T.J.'s less than devoted wife, who puts up a spirited and entirely successful resistance to all his attempts to apply his management techniques to his marriage.
The novel is very cleverly and stylishly written. The author does a wonderful job of lettting T.J. expose his own absurdity, while believing he is painting a heroic self-portrait. In summary - a very funny book and a great read.