Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son (Hardcover)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

An entertaining omnibus of opinionated essays previously published mostly in Details magazine spotlights novelist Chabon's (The Yiddish Policemen's Union) model of being an attentive, honest father and a fairly observant Jew. Living in Berkeley, Calif., raising four children with his wife, Ayelet Waldman, who has also just published a collection of parenting stories (Bad Mother), Chabon, at 45, revisits his own years growing up in the 1970s with a mixture of rue and relief. A child of the suburbs of Maryland and elsewhere, where children could still play in what he calls in one essay the Wilderness of Childhood, he enjoyed a freedom now lost to kids, endured the divorce of his parents, smoked a lot of pot, suffered a short early marriage and finally found his life's partner, who takes risks where he won't. The essays are tidily arranged around themes of manly affection (his first father-in-law, his younger brother); styles of manhood, such as faking at being a handyman; and patterns of early enchantment, such as his delight in comic books, sci-fi and stargazing. Candid, warm and humorous, Chabon's essays display his habitual attention to craft. (Oct.)
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From Bookmarks Magazine

Already less than awed by "alternative" parenting memoirs by moms and dads, many critics seemed primed to dislike Manhood for Amateurs. But Chabon comes out on top, impressing reviewers with his usual balancing act: on the one hand, a multitude of finely examined details, anecdotes, and references; on the other, a solid core of a story. That he could extract such a core greatly impressed some reviewers, although a couple noted that a few of the essays felt as if they had been written for men's magazines—for which they indeed already had. Others found his balancing act not so exceptional in an era of confessional fiction; nevertheless, they were impressed that Chabon could pull it off without falling into the usual pitfalls of the form.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Harper; First Edition edition (October 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061490180
• ISBN-13: 978-0061490187
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #4,835 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Exquisite Blend of the Mundane and the Mind-Blowing, October 13, 2009

By	Bookreporter.com (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

Moms who like to read (and write) about motherhood have had it pretty good over the last decade or so. Led by a cadre of "mom bloggers" and others, women have found new ways to connect over the minutiae, the often thankless drudgery, and even the dark side of modern motherhood. No longer are images of motherhood isolated to the hazy pink aisles of Hallmark's Mother's Day section; instead, moms have discovered camaraderie amid chaos as they read brutally honest confessions of the anguish, boredom and terrifying love to which mothers can now admit. Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Michael Chabon's own wife, Ayelet Waldman, has become famous (or, in some circles, notorious) for her own brilliantly written but painfully honest writings about marriage and motherhood.

And while it's fantastic that moms have avenues for them to connect and to converse, dads have had to work much harder to find thoughtful writing about fatherhood that doesn't idealize, essentialize, or talk down to them. Now, Chabon has filled that niche admirably with MANHOOD FOR AMATEURS, a wide-ranging but thematically focused collection of his autobiographical writings (many previously published in Details magazine and elsewhere). Here, Chabon touches on many of the motifs that he has explored in his other nonfiction writing and in his novels --- baseball, comics, sex, writing, religion --- but inevitably circles back to what is, for him, at the center of it all: his family.

Chabon, a father of four young children, uses his writing to constantly define what it means --- and what it could mean --- to be a husband, a father, and a man in the early years of the 21st century. He defines his own role in comparison to his well-meaning but distant father and also in the context of society's (embarrassingly low) expectations of what fathers can and should accomplish. Chabon's writing is unapologetically male-oriented (female readers will learn what fanboys are really thinking when looking at those buxom, Amazonian comic book heroines). But he writes in a way that continually questions the implications of masculinity. For example, he speaks appreciatively of his forced adolescent introduction into the culinary arts when his mother returned to work and of the implications of a man carrying a (gulp) man purse, or "murse."

Throughout, Chabon utilizes the kind of wry observations and exquisite literary craft that have made his novels both popular and critical sensations. Almost all the essays are simultaneously thoughtful, cohesive, and very, very funny. But Chabon's writing is most affecting and emotionally open when he's writing passionately about his wife and beloved children (even when he's commenting on their odorousness or their tendency to ask difficult questions about embarrassing subjects). His observations on marriage and parenthood are specific enough to resonate with other parents but universal enough to speak to any reader who has considered thoughtfully the role of the family in American life or the changing responsibilities and expectations of the sexes.

I used to have a hard time finding gifts for friends about to embark on the journey of fatherhood; most in my circle would just roll their eyes at a sugary gift book about the meaning of fatherhood. But Michael Chabon's new memoir is so much more than that: it is an exquisite blend of the mundane and the mind-blowing, all broken down into short essays just the right length to read while giving Theo a bottle or waiting for Sadie's soccer game to start --- the perfect book for young dads to stash in their murses.

--- Reviewed by Norah Piehl

39 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Collection of Pieces, October 7, 2009

By	Amos Lassen (Little Rock, Arkansas) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)

Chabon, Michael. "Manhood for Amateurs; The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son", HarperCollins, 2009.

A Collection of Pieces

Amos Lassen

Michael Chabon's collection of thoughts on being a man ranges from light thoughts to some very poignant and dramatic moments as well as several sustained meditations. If there is unifying themes they are memory and nostalgia. The book is a way to look at the past. However what makes this book special is the author's style--he is sharp and he knows how to treat the reader. He digresses but we digress with him.
Chabon has no problem denigrating himself and does so in some of the finest English language. He goes right to the point with his fluent style. He writes with humor and caustic wit yet his writing is formal and crisp. His work is personal and for that alone is this book worth reading. His thoughts on the loss of innocence ring true and he grounds his cultural criticisms so that they are anecdotal and personal. It's a wonderful read with a lot to say.

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Amateur Hour, October 22, 2009

By	Eric Wilson "novelist" (Nashville, TN United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)

Let's face it: being a great writer doesn't make a man a great husband, father, or son. There are, in fact, some famous examples of quite the opposite. With this in mind, I wondered what might be discovered in Chabon's "first sustained work of personal writing."

"Manhood for Amateurs" starts off with wit and humor, then segues into hard-earned wisdom and poignancy. Chabon sets the bar low from the onset (with a wink of the eye), letting us in on the well known secret that a man doesn't need to do half as much as his fairer counterpart to be considered a good parent. Even while poking fun, while making wry and laugh-out-loud observations, he manages to give us fresh perspective on the power of memory, of living in the moment, of fear and aggression and sensitivity. He admits his own shortcomings, hints at--and sometimes revels a bit in--the wild times of his own youth. From his odes to comic books, Velvet Crumb Cake, and Big Barda (yeah, I'd never heard of her), to his loving references to his mother and his wife, Chabon gives us plenty of reasons to celebrate being a man--whether young or old.

Women may enjoy this book as a peek into the male mindset, good and/or bad, while men may enjoy it as a sometimes raucous, sometimes reverential, look at what it means to be a father in the twenty-first century. There's less here than I had hoped about being a husband, but Chabon does offer some heartfelt words of advise from his failed first marriage.

Throughout, I found myself laughing, sighing, sometimes disagreeing, often relating, and reading sections aloud to my wife (who, generally, seemed to enjoy it as much as I). Overall, I found myself looking forward to more years of fatherhood--with all the pleasures and regrets they are bound to bring. In Chabon's world, to be an "amateur" is to be one driven by passion, as opposed, I assume, to being a professional driven by monetary motives. His passion for his children comes through, and with that perspective, I hope to never forget the joys of being an "amateur" myself.