Customer Reviews

The Manipulated Man

5 star:		(50)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

This is one of the most enlightening books I've ever read. Esther Vilar is one of the few women who dare to criticize their own sex and the way feminism is going. But she makes clear that she *does* want women to be emancipated - as long as they are willing to accept responsibilities the way men do. Vilar is able to explain why discrimination against women in the professional world is women's own fault: the pay cheque of a man who is prepared to support his wife for years is more valuable and necessary than the pay cheque of a woman who won't support a man and who insists on a money-earning husband.

Quote: "The 'woman with a family' - the woman who supports a healthy man and his children all her life - is practically unknown in the professional world. Who should be held responsible for this situation: employer or woman?" (to be found in the last but one chapter, the one about Women's Lib)

It may seem impolite when I say it, but it's a plain fact that most women only marry men who want to earn money and that women - at the same time - have the nerve to say that no man wants to stay at home anyway...

It's also a plain fact that Esther Vilar has been the victim of censorship (however "unofficial" censorship it may be): in the most important Western country, the U.S., The Manipulated Man has been removed from many libraries, most of her other work is not even sold in English. TV stations, magazines and papers in most Western countries constantly ignore everything Esther Vilar writes and says. Coincidence? Besides, there are many people on the Internet who claim that they've read her books, but deliberately tell lies about her books: e.g. they say that Vilar is old-fashioned and that she wants women to stay at home - a simple lie. Some anonymous people even insult Vilar's fans, using offensive words - the main characteristic of those haters is their unability to discuss the real *contents* of Vilar's books and to give reasons for their opinions...

...and so I really wonder how much time will pass until everyone finally realizes that *both* men and women can benefit from this book. I like the text on the back of the cover which says: "[...] But Vilar's intention is not misogynous. She maintains that only if men and women look at their place in society with honesty, will there be any hope for change."

I first heard about this book while reading Fitzgerald's Sexploitation. It was so old that I did not even bother to put it on my wish list. Then, as the years went by, I talked to more and more men who treasured The Manipulated Man. One fellow even went so far as to pdf the initial edition and distribute it among to his friends. As a result of the accolades, I realized that I had to read the work for myself. All I can say is that I'm surprised it turned out to be as good as it is. Yes, it is too severe in some of its observations, but not as much as Sexploitation was. Villar, even when she overstates, makes far more accurate points about men and women than our media ever do. There is more truth in this slim volume than in all of the collected episodes of Oprah Winfrey. That women favor a material existence devoted to enhancing their own security and accentuating pleasure seems to be undeniable based on my life experience. It is a reality of which Villar makes us completely aware. Also, men really do evaluate women from an equal perspective which is the cause of considerable unhappiness to us. It is inconceivable, from our vantage point, that there are women out there who actually prefer shopping to sex, but that is no doubt often the case.

On just about every second page of this book, the author makes a profound insight. Therefore, I encourage you to take the time to read it. As you do, I'm sure you will wonder, just as did I, about the amount the hell Villar must have caught given the year in which it was originally released. Nothing as potent or virile, in regards to the social transcendence of women, ever before appeared. To Esther Villar, as a man, I say thank you. We are heavily in your debt.

Of course, people have all kinds of different tastes, but I really think that just about everyone could benefit from reading this. This book is concerned with some of the most basic misconceptions upon which our culture is based, and which can and should be reformed. Vilar says a lot of things that are rather clear and simple, but that almost everyone is afraid to admit. She exaggerates a lot of things, and many of the things that she says are definitely not true about everybody. An important fact to bear in mind is that the book itself is dedicated to the men and women who are different from the ones described in the book. So the author herself is obviously aware that there are many exceptions to the generalizations that she makes. She herself, I assume, is such an exception. But the things that she says are true about most people.

In some places it seems like she is deliberately trying to provoke women's anger, rather than proving a point. Nevertheless, you should read this book because, as far as I know, there is no other like it. At first you might think that this book is anti-feminist, but actually the author has a lot in common with feminists. Both attack traditional gender roles and both are extremely contemptuous of inequality between men and women. The difference is that a feminist believes that men have the better end of the deal, whereas Vilar believes the opposite. I tend to agree with Vilar. She clearly and incisively describes the relationships of most of the couples that I know.

Some people are probably offended just from reading the title and a short description of the book. I urge you to approach the book with an open mind and consider the arguments presented within calmly and rationally. The effect of the book on some people is probably actually rather devastating. But of course, people can only improve themselves by recognizing and accepting their own faults.

This book, for some reason, is difficult to find in the United States. I bought my copy from amazon.uk.

One of the best books of social criticism of the late twentieth century. This tome is perhaps one of the most insightful and clever exposes of the myth that human society is "dominated" by males. Esther Vilar (b. 1935), a physician and playright now living in Spain, reveals the incredibly manipulative and Machiavellian practices of her own gender. The bottom line? Women do not have to be clever, educated, or intelligent: So long as men are willing to compromise their own careers, finances, and physical selves to gain sexual access to females, women do not need to exert themselves. Instead, women allow men to live as worker-drones. The bizarre irony is that men are actually allowed (and encouraged) to believe that males are "in charge." Through cold calculation and an acute, business-like detachment, human females deliberately allow themselves to be thought "helpless" and "deficient." Why? Because pitying males satisfy there own silly egos by actually believing they are "rescuing" the ladies. This clever ruse only allows women the ability to attain their own ultimate goal of staying home, having children, and imbibing in trite social activities. A superb book that not only exposes the absurdity and hypocrisy of "feminism," but will convince any well-read and worldly male to avoid marriage (Is it any wonder this book is not printed in the US?). This book cannot be recommended enough. Vilar's easy-going yet razor-sharp writing style--when combined with her pithy observations about female power--will prove unsettling to any male with the guts or the brains to actually read her book. Outstanding!

I urge men to read this book. It contains so many incredible nuggets of truth about the way things are today. When I finished it, I could feel so much 'conditioning' falling away from me. It put into words feelings I had only half-grasped, such as:

1. Knowing that I did not deserve the denigrating "all men are(...)" tone which so many women speak with these days.
2. Being told I 'should be happy' in a job, when I knew I was not.
3. Feeling ill-treated by women who I had shown lots of respect and kindness to.
4. Feeling that female friendship is paper-thin and is dropped in a callous, cold-hearted instant.
5. Being made to feel terrible by some women's manipulative, false tears and hysterics.
6. Being made to feel that material goods were incredibly important, when I actually felt that friendship, conversation, ideas, sociability, discovery and thinking are the important things in life.

Society has evolved the way it has, with two roles, Breadwinner and Childcarer. Women find themselves with the Childcarer role, like that role, and want to keep it. The question is: how much do men enjoy the Breadwinner role in today's rather brutal capitalist system? - in the "Iron Cage" as sociologist Max Weber called it. Vilar raises men's consciousness of the fact that they are stuck with the worst role in life.
And to say "That's just the way things are" is a lie, a cop-out, and simply lazy thinking. Forget all old ways of doing things; we must make the future we want.

If your heart leaps with joy on Monday morning, you don't need this book. Otherwise, you do need it.

Thankyou, Ms Vilar, this is such a brave book. I still love women, but I am also much stronger and more aware of what is going on. I will enjoy my freedom so much more now!

I am a woman but I have to say that yes, I know women who are like this.In fact I know a lot of women who are like Vilar described.
The reality is much more complex, and it is different from country to country. I come from Eastern-Europe, and there it is normal for women to have a full job and to take care of the household as well.Also the women from there do not have all the domestic facilities from the Western-Europe or from USA.It is not easy for women from there and not always the men will help them. There, I would say that is the revert situation.
Finally I think, taking advantage is not just a female characteristic, it is human.

Vilar's polemic slashes at the fabric of society. She states clearly and simply what many men and women suspect but dare not say: that men are women's slaves, not the reverse. Anyone interested in the gender wars must read this book. Anyone in Women's Studies, who truly< wants to study gender, must read this book, if only to be exposed to another point of view. True enquiring minds will find this book astonishing. Dogmatic minds will, of course, not even bother to read it.

Is Vilar's version of things correct? Is this the truth? For me, it is as much the "truth" as anything MacKinnon, Dworkin, Steinem or Faludi might write. The difference is that radical feminist writers receive national exposure and speaking engagements for their radical views, while Vilar, equally radical, receives death threats and near-anonymity. If men are really the oppressors then why can MacKinnon and Steinem publish and speak openly, while Vilar is thoroughly suppressed? ....

... Vilar's work, far from reinforcing traditional stereotypes, blows them wide open. She characterizes men as industrious and intelligent, but dupes. She writes that women are vapid and lazy, but also in command. It's enough to set Dworkin groupies AND conservative senators foaming at the mouth. Far from bolstering "traditional" viewpoints, it offends dogmatists on both sides of the fence.

The only unfortunate aspect of the reprint is that the material is dated. Although it is possible for a sympathetic reader to find present-day examples and view contemporary phenomena through her lens, it's annoying that the examples in the book seem to apply better to the 1950's than the year 2000. There is a new foreword by the author in which she states that nothing has changed in thirty years, but I would have preferred that she had updated the book to clearly demonstrate that argument, rather than leaving it to the reader. Vilar claims that the changes brought about by Women's Liberation are superficial, and she has a chapter on the topic, but the rest of the book hasn't caught up. As such, her work is less convincing than it could be.

Mrs Vilar deserves an award for two reasons:
Firstly, for honesty for exposing the mentality of a large proportion of the female sex, and secondly, for bravery for risking her life against feminazis. The death threats this brave lady received were very real and frightening, and the movement those criminals represented should be disgusted with itself for behaving like a terrorist organization, especially as it supposedly prides itself on non-violence. Buy this book now if you're a man, and let those that vote this book 1 or 2 stars be a further recommendation in their emotional, badly-spelt, nonsensical rants.

Obviously, the truth this book reveals touches a nerve with some, who should remember that half of them would be dead without the medical marvels invented by the sex they hate so much, that freed humanity from the appalling job being done by the midwives of history, unfortunately millions of lives too late. Why, after thousands of years of experience, when men were banned from taking part in childbirth, had women failed to invent the obstetrician's forceps, a relatively simple instrument to think up that has saved millions of lives, although it has been losing favour in recent decades? Go on, do an internet search for a picture and ask yourself if inventing that is rocket science. That's why a man invented it within a relatively short time of being allowed to participate in childbirth. Yet these midwives had millenia...the mind boggles. Mothers all over the world should be aware of the name of Peter Chamberlen, who by ingeniously inventing this tool around 1600 helped to gatecrash the midwives' party and thereby saved millions of lives. Do modern midwives today (and NO man has been infantile enough to propose that the name be changed to 'mid-person') hold the name Peter Chamberlen high, or that of the countless doctors that followed him to help make woman live 7 years longer than men in the US? No, look at their websites and you'll see only whining - men robbed them of the field they had a monopoly of, and that seems to bother them more than the millions of lives saved, not by MAN, but by MEN. Do men let women who make such contributions to their welfare, making their traditional roles much safer, go forgotten? Well, compare the hits you get for an Internet search on 'Peter Chamberlen' versus 'Florence Nightingale' and answer that one yourself.

I will stop this discussion at just medicine as this is supposed to be a book review, but yes SAXON and the other single-starrers below, we men are grateful that women give birth to humanity, but get your perspectives right and be grateful you're alive thanks to men taking over women's jobs and bringing rational thinking into childbirth, appreciate the fact that the vast majority of your daily comforts came from the ingenuity of that hated sex, and be grateful that many of you will have up to seven years more than we men will have to enjoy the products of our genius, having expended so much more of our time and energy on woman's health and safety than on our own.

I was first given this book by my father several years ago, when I was something like 16, before I had any real experience with women. At that time, I couldn't tell whether Esther is joking or being serious, so I pretty much disregarded what I read. (Interestingly, my mother was rather upset at my father for having given me the book.) Now, after 2 years with a girlfriend that is a prototype of the female that Esther describes, I see how utterly and completely serious she is. The Manipulated Man is about truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Although Esther does write casually and does make contradictory statements in multiple places, the overall message couldn't be healthier. Women are in an advantageous position, and they are exploiting men because they can. That's natural law - they do it because it works. And we, the men, despite our alleged intelligence, are stupid enough to let women walk over us. We're getting the raw end of the deal, and we're accepting it because we were manipulated into thinking that this is what we are supposed to do.

I'm have about 10% of this book left to read, and I have been floored since Chapter 1. I see why this book was banned by feminists! If my several power bases of ruling and controlling men were in jeopardy, I will pull out all the stops as well. At first, I thought this book would not give me a balanced viewpoint on the gender war of today (August, 2006). Not only did it give me a balanced view on the situation, it flat out put a fire under my rear. It gave me the confidence to know that I am not wrong for rebelling this state of slavery that this system, and women are putting the majority of men under. DO NOT CONFORM TO WHAT A WOMAN THINKS YOU SHOULD BE! YOU ARE A MAN! NOT A WOMAN. I urge every man to grab this book, and consider it a social bible of TRUE MANHOOD, and how to combat the BS of FEMINISM. Blackmen, whitemen, Asian Men, Hispanic/Latino/Puerto Rican/Mexican men, etc. Make your identity as a man known, within yourself, and others who dare to challenge it differently.