Conventional wisdom says that women are the manipulative ones - but tell that to the thousands of desperate women suffering at the hands of a manipulative man. Men can be just as sneaky, passive-aggressive, needy, underhanded, whiny, guilt-inducing and emotionally demanding as women are accused of being - and perhaps more so! As any woman in love with a manipulative man can tell you, it's not easy to get past his charm and your guilt to a place where you can see your relationship for what it is - out of balance, extraordinarily stressful, emotionally exhausting and potentially dangerous. This book is a groundbreaking prescription for dealing with the manipulative men in your life by using: tests to help women decide if they are involved with mama's boys, narcissists, sociopaths or even psychopaths; techniques for defining and setting boundaries with their men; and tools to help women improve their relationships with manipulative men. In "The Manipulative Man", acclaimed psychotherapist Dr. Dorothy McCoy shows readers how to identify the type of manipulative man they're involved with, deal with the issues his behaviour provokes and ultimately, salvage the relationship - or move on.
I am a police consultant, volunteer in a cold case squad, writer and State Constable in Columbia, South Carolina. My grandmother grew up near here in Blythewood. I moved back to South Carolina to research, create and implement the Master Instructor Program for the South Carolina Criminal Justice Academy.I had a great time working on the Master Instructor Manual and met dozens of great law enforcement officers in the US, Canada and England.
I have three published books and one police-stress workbook: From Shyness to Social Butterfly (Wellness Institute); The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests (Champion Press); The Manipulative Man (Adams Media). I believe that self-help and wellness books should be helpful,AND they should also be entertaining. I will NOT read a boring book, no matter how "good for me" it is and I won't bore you either.
This is an excerpt from "The Manipulative Man":
I bet you have met one of the manipulators. Did he promise you the stars and play you like a musical instrument? Many women have fallen for the illusion, because it is so expertly conceived and performed. Nevertheless, please don't worry, you are not unintelligent or gullible, much of their irresistible attraction is chemical. Another stumbling block is our nurturing nature (which is culturally encouraged).
Have no fear, you can learn to recognize a manipulator, avoid their
traps and live as the incredible woman you are, not the woman they choose to create. Stay with me, we will explore the top eight "least wanted list" of manipulative types and avoid them, housetrain them (if they are willing) or learn to out maneuver them. Tighten your seatbelt, this will be an incredible ride.
A review of my bbok, The Manipulative Man, was in Publishers Weekly today (April,03, 2006).
Subject: PW review of The Manipulative Man
The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control
Dorothy McCoy. Adams Media, $14.95 paper (256p) ISBN 1-59337-623-5
Did he promise you the stars and play you like a musical instrument?" Then you know the manipulative man. Psychotherapist McCoy presents a chilling expos of 10 types of manipulators ("Mama's Boys," "Eternal Jocks," etc.) who prey on women's neediness and gullibility. This is not a feel-good book, yet it's compellingly readable. McCoy (The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests) is a police consultant, and her work may be what creates the grim undertone. She uses case studies from her counseling practice, blow-by-blow deconstructions of each type's manipulative techniques and tests to determine which type the reader may be dealing with. Most valuable are the chapters on narcissists and psychopaths. These predators are the most dangerous because they can make themselves seem so appealing, flattering and fun at the beginning of the relationship. The author also has good advice for women involved with violent manipulators. In all cases, McCoy warns, "You do not 'know' a manipulative man; he has worked diligently at spinning a web of contradictions, confusion and falsehoods." Wrapping up, McCoy offers suggestions for women seeking healthy relationships, noting those who are self-confident are less likely to fall for a charmer's manipulative wiles. (June 7)
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