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The Manly Art of Seduction, How to Meet, Talk To, and Become Intimate with Anyone Perfect Paperback – November 4, 2009


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Product Details

  • Perfect Paperback: 225 pages
  • Publisher: Belhue Press; First Print Edition edition (November 4, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1892149060
  • ISBN-13: 978-1892149060
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #202,580 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

The Manly Art of Seduction: How to Meet, Talk to, and Become Intimate with Anyone_, by Perry Brass. Belhue Press, 220 pages, $16.95 paper. Manly. Seduction. Terms sadly at odds with each other in our mature years, says Brass, a situation he rectifies with wide-ranging inclusiveness in his second self-help title, after _How to Survive Your Own Gay Life: An Adult Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships_. Think of this as that book s prequel. The emphasis isn t on sex, love or marriage as much as it is on how to achieve the kind of man-on-man intimacy that might lead to just one date, to a sexual connection, or simply to an enduring friendship. With 46 short chapters, Brass how-to advice comes with work for you tips (practice touching your own body, perform a grooming assessment) and space for a worksheet the reader s homework assignment, as it were. The book s first section covers such topics as shyness, kissing and dealing with rejection standard stuff, expressed with clear-headed commonsense. Later chapters touch smartly on too-often-avoided subclasses of seduction disability, weight, race, class, cock size, sexual dysfunction, straight men and threesomes making this a first-class primer for every taste. --January BookMarks, Nationally syndicated book review column, by Richard Labonte

The Manly Art of Seduction, How to Meet, Talk To, and Become Intimate with Anyone by Perry Brass Despite the more salacious connotations of the word, seduction can be an art form, believes author Perry Brass. Just as an artist lays out the colors on a palette before he can begin painting ...a good seducer knows that only by arranging the right setting and being in the right frame of mind, can the seduction take place without stalemating into a cold, awkward, and unnerving situation, he writes. Although some artists are born with innate talent, others must develop their raw skills and confidence with careful practice and guidance. Similarly, fledgling seducers will find Brass' mentorship invaluable, as he details the sometimes-rocky paths to intimacy and the difficulties that crop up in flirtatious encounters. The guidebook is aimed primarily at gay men, but Brass (author of How To Survive Your Own Gay Life) keeps his advice broad enough to be applicable to straight women as well. Because he delves so deeply into the male psyche, it might be challenging for a straight male or lesbian reader to use all of his insight, but there's still plenty of wisdom for those readers as well. Brass argues, quite effectively, that seduction isn't about ending between the sheets with someone, even though that might be the outcome. Instead, a truly creative and successful seducer understands how to make a genuine connection to others, and how to develop a sense of intimacy quickly. Although he touches on common advice like tapping into shared interests, Brass also explores deeper concepts like valor and territorialism, and his stunning chapter on rejection should be a must-read for everyone in the dating scene. Most of the time, men are not rejecting you, he writes. They're rejecting a situation they feel they can't control, and the fact that you are bringing more stress (and lack of control) into either a socially or sexually-charged situation. To make the material even more usable, Brass includes a worksheet type of section at the end of every chapter. For example, for the rejection chapter, he asks the reader to list a past rejection, and how he or she might view that person now. Only by thinking about the full circumstances of the rejection can someone move on, Brass believes. Filled with useful, practical advice, this guide is likely to make gay men feel more in control of their chance encounters, and boost some self-esteem as well. Everyone can learn the art of seduction, as Brass notes, and he provides plenty of the necessary tools and art supplies. Review Date: January 2010. Reviewed by: Elizabeth Millard --January issue of ForeWord Reviews Online

About the Author

Perry Brass has published 15 books including How to Survive Your Own Gay Life and The Manly Art of Seduction, been a finalist 6 times for Lambda Literary Awards, and has won two IPPY Awards. He s had 50 poems set to music, and been included in The Columbia Anthology of Gay Literature. His play Night Chills won a 1985 Jane Chambers International Gay Playwriting Award from the Meridian Gay Theatre. His two-man show All Men taken from the first 20 years of his writing, was presented in New York, L. A. and Chicago in 1987. He s working on the third twenty years, and lives in the Bronx.

More About the Author

Originally from Savannah, Georgia, I am an author/poet/playwright and certainly an activist--a lot of my work originated in my own early political activism in the movement for Gay and Lesbian Liberation. I grew up in the nineteen fifties and early nineteen sixties, in equal parts Southern, Jewish, economically impoverished, and (very much) gay. To escape the South's violent homophobia, I hitchhiked at age 17 from Savannah to San Francisco--an adventure, I like to say, "like Mark Twain with drag queens." As a young man I worked as an artist's model, on the floor of an aircraft factory, and, in the "Mad Men" period of knife-to-the-throat-anything-goes-advertising in the art departments of Madison Avenue ad agencies.

I have published 16 books and been a finalist six times in 3 categories (poetry; gay science fiction and fantasy; spirituality and religion) for Lambda Literary Awards, as well as winning numerous awards for my poetry, plays, fiction, and other writings, including 4 prestigious "IPPY" Awards from Independent Publisher. My novel KING OF ANGELS was named a finalist for a prestigious 2013 Ferro-Grumley Award for LGBT Fiction from New York's Ferro-Grumley Foundation, the first time a novel from a small press like mine was ever named a finalist. I feel that my work is unique in that it combines frank depictions of human sexuality, deep spiritual values, emotional depth, political insight, and (often) outrageous humor. Fortunately, this has given me a wonderful following of readers who don't pigeonhole themselves---or my writing.

I've been involved in the gay rights movement since November of 1969, soon after the Stonewall Rebellion, when I co-edited "Come Out!," the world's first gay liberation newspaper. All the issues of Come Out! can now be read online at Outhistory.org [http://www.outhistory.org/wiki/Come_Out!_Magazine,_1969-1972]. "Come Out!," one of the most powerful documents of the early Liberation phase of the LGBT movement, is also available as The Come Out Reader, published by Christopher Street Press, on Blurb [http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3229148?alt=The+Come+Out!+Reader%2C+as+listed+under+Gay+%26+Lesbian].

Later, in 1972, with two friends I started the Gay Men's Health Project Clinic, the first clinic for gay men on the East Coast, still surviving as New York's Callen-Lourde Community Health Service. In 1984, my play "Night Chills," one of the first plays to deal with the AIDS crisis, won a Jane Chambers International Gay Playwriting Award.

As a poet, I have collaborated with many composers. These collaborations include the words for the much-performed "All the Way Through Evening," a haunting cycle of five songs evoking the tragedies of the AIDS epidemic, set by the late young Chris DeBlasio; "The Angel Voices of Men," set by Ricky Ian Gordon, commissioned by the Dick Cable Fund for the New York City Gay Men's Chorus which premiered it at Carnegie Hall and featured it on its "Gay Century Songbook" CD; "Three Brass Songs," with famed composer-pianist Fred Hersch; "The Restless Yearning Towards My Self," with New York City Opera composer Paula Kimper; and lately, "Twelve Musical Figures," a series of short songs set by Gerald Busby, the marvelous composer of the score for Robert Altman's classic movie "Two Women."

I am currently treasurer of the Greater New York Independent Publishers Association, and a coordinator of New York's Rainbow Book Fair, the oldest book fair and cultural conference in the U.S. solely devoted to the books of LGBT authors and publishers. I also write for the Huffington Post, and have a blog on Wordpress. These blogs are linked to my Author's Page, so you can see what I'm doing there.

Right now I am working on a book about desire--how it shapes us, despite our fears--and the deeper, more secret forms of it that we either allow or deny. I want this book to be a companion book to my popular THE MANLY ART OF SEDUCTION, and I hope that readers who followed that book will pick up this one, too.

I love to do readings, and I have been included in several documentaries about the lgbt movement and its culture. I am featured in "All the Way Through Evening," a documentary about young composers who died of AIDS, directed by Australian filmmaker Rohan Spong. I live in the Riverdale section of "da Bronx" with my partner of 32 years, but as I like to say, I can cross bridges to other parts of America without a passport. I love hearing from readers, and you can find out how to reach me in any Belhue Press book.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Jacob Z. Campbell on May 5, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have to say that the style of this book is amazing: I read it front to back in one sitting, and for me that is a feat. It reads so easily but there is a lot of information about dealing with blocks and hang-ups that can inhibit meeting other guys. It says a lot about flirting and seduction but it goes much deeper than just the surface...and touches on the basic animal instinctive behaviors that we need to know we're operating out of if we're to transcend from just superficial contacts to true connections, and intimacy. Intimacy: This book is great in operationalizing intimacy, the "how to" as well as the "why one should" is clearly presented, and specific (workbook-like) exercises at the end of each chapter are highly productive in breaking out of one's shell (aka closet)...in a non-threatening way. It is possible to meet other guys if you are willing to smile and enjoy the process. That's the main message I got: The meeting and seduction of others is almost as easy as falling off a log if you know a few things to do. Perry Brass's style makes for great reading.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By A on August 20, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
This book is for the majority of men who do not know how to approach guys. Between the regular shy guy, the guy who cannot break away from the security of his friends, either physically or virtually present, and the many guys who stand around in a club (or sit in a coffee shop) with building resentment waiting for someone to approach them, this encompasses most gay guys.

I found the book good in that it advocates a sense of agency, and gives some tools for making this easier. However, while I think most of his advice is good, some of it, if put in practice, would be rather off-putting. For example, he cites sample conversations in which he advises the reader to doggedly persist after being very obviously and definitively shot down. I have been on the receiving end of many such approaches, and I find the experience rather repellent.

So overall, a helpful read, but use some common sense.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Heidi Anderson on December 10, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
I am not exactly sure what led me to read this book, except that I have always felt like I had more in common with gay men than I did with straight women. However, after a failed marriage and a few other failed relationships, I decided I wanted to change the way I related to men.

This book was amazing. I had only been thinking in terms of what a woman goes through when dating, and never considered what it was like for men. It turns out I was scaring the hell out of men NOT because I was a bitchy harpy (my biggest fear) but because I did not understand anything about men.

The book has changed the way I interact with men, and helped me see that it is indeed ok to be vulnerable and open to the RIGHT men. I have recommended this book to many people, gay and straight, and it has changed their relationships with men as well.
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By Archer on July 12, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
After not being on the "market" for over 20 years, a date with the third guy I met seemed unusually promising. From what he said and did, all indications were that it went quite well, except that once it ended, so did our contact. I've Monday-morning-quarterbacked that experience over and over again, trying to figure out I might have done to turn him off. Then I downloaded this book.

It didn't take long to realize that my inexperience and nervousness drove me toward being too forward, trying too hard to be likable, and saying so many things - and making so many moves - the wrong way. I believe that if I'd read this book and taken it to heart before that date, Mr. Promising and I would have met at least one more time. If nothing else, I would have known how to read any signs he might have given off during our first date. It also gave me some insights into my own personality that really need some work.

If only the the author had included advice on how to get a guy to consider a "reset" after a bad first date!
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