The Manly Art of Seduction: How to Meet, Talk to, and Become Intimate with Anyone_, by Perry Brass. Belhue Press, 220 pages, $16.95 paper. Manly. Seduction. Terms sadly at odds with each other in our mature years, says Brass, a situation he rectifies with wide-ranging inclusiveness in his second self-help title, after _How to Survive Your Own Gay Life: An Adult Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships_. Think of this as that book s prequel. The emphasis isn t on sex, love or marriage as much as it is on how to achieve the kind of man-on-man intimacy that might lead to just one date, to a sexual connection, or simply to an enduring friendship. With 46 short chapters, Brass how-to advice comes with work for you tips (practice touching your own body, perform a grooming assessment) and space for a worksheet the reader s homework assignment, as it were. The book s first section covers such topics as shyness, kissing and dealing with rejection standard stuff, expressed with clear-headed commonsense. Later chapters touch smartly on too-often-avoided subclasses of seduction disability, weight, race, class, cock size, sexual dysfunction, straight men and threesomes making this a first-class primer for every taste. --January BookMarks, Nationally syndicated book review column, by Richard Labonte
The Manly Art of Seduction, How to Meet, Talk To, and Become Intimate with Anyone by Perry Brass Despite the more salacious connotations of the word, seduction can be an art form, believes author Perry Brass. Just as an artist lays out the colors on a palette before he can begin painting ...a good seducer knows that only by arranging the right setting and being in the right frame of mind, can the seduction take place without stalemating into a cold, awkward, and unnerving situation, he writes. Although some artists are born with innate talent, others must develop their raw skills and confidence with careful practice and guidance. Similarly, fledgling seducers will find Brass' mentorship invaluable, as he details the sometimes-rocky paths to intimacy and the difficulties that crop up in flirtatious encounters. The guidebook is aimed primarily at gay men, but Brass (author of How To Survive Your Own Gay Life) keeps his advice broad enough to be applicable to straight women as well. Because he delves so deeply into the male psyche, it might be challenging for a straight male or lesbian reader to use all of his insight, but there's still plenty of wisdom for those readers as well. Brass argues, quite effectively, that seduction isn't about ending between the sheets with someone, even though that might be the outcome. Instead, a truly creative and successful seducer understands how to make a genuine connection to others, and how to develop a sense of intimacy quickly. Although he touches on common advice like tapping into shared interests, Brass also explores deeper concepts like valor and territorialism, and his stunning chapter on rejection should be a must-read for everyone in the dating scene. Most of the time, men are not rejecting you, he writes. They're rejecting a situation they feel they can't control, and the fact that you are bringing more stress (and lack of control) into either a socially or sexually-charged situation. To make the material even more usable, Brass includes a worksheet type of section at the end of every chapter. For example, for the rejection chapter, he asks the reader to list a past rejection, and how he or she might view that person now. Only by thinking about the full circumstances of the rejection can someone move on, Brass believes. Filled with useful, practical advice, this guide is likely to make gay men feel more in control of their chance encounters, and boost some self-esteem as well. Everyone can learn the art of seduction, as Brass notes, and he provides plenty of the necessary tools and art supplies. Review Date: January 2010. Reviewed by: Elizabeth Millard --January issue of ForeWord Reviews Online
Perry Brass has published 15 books including How to Survive Your Own Gay Life
and The Manly Art of Seduction
, been a finalist 6 times for Lambda Literary Awards, and has won two IPPY Awards. He s had 50 poems set to music, and been included in The Columbia Anthology of Gay Literature
. His play Night Chills
won a 1985 Jane Chambers International Gay Playwriting Award from the Meridian Gay Theatre. His two-man show All Men taken from the first 20 years of his writing, was presented in New York, L. A. and Chicago in 1987. He s working on the third twenty years, and lives in the Bronx.