Customer Reviews

A Man's Field Guide to Dating

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I am also an author of a book about dating. It is beyond rare for me to endorse a book about dating written by a man. That is because most of them treat women as objects and men as sex crazed fiends who only want to know how they can get as much sex as possible on a regular basis. This book will teach men who are looking for a great partnership with a woman exactly how to get what they want. Oh, and for those of you men out there who responded to that statement, "But I am a sex crazed fiend who just wants to know how I can get as much sex as possible on a regular basis." I have this to say to you--geting into a great relationship with a fantastic woman and being a quality man/great spouse is, in fact, the number one best way to get as much sex as possible on a regular basis! Logical?!

This book respects men and women and gives clear solid advice that will definately improve all of our love lives! It is fun to read and easy to digest. If your not getting what you want out of your love life, get this book!

This book is also great for women to read. One of the biggest things that prevents women from attaining the love life they desire is that they do not understand men and what their dilemas and confusions are. This book will be invaluable in helping you with that.

My favorite part has got to be the part about hygiene. It has never ceased to amaze me that men don't already know some of this stuff, and yet they don't. Someone had to tell them and Bob Wray is just the man for the job.

Sincerely, Felicia Rose Adler Author of Master Dating: How to Meet and Attract Quality Men!

First of all, there is nothing new here--and if you're not aware that women prefer men who do not smoke & wear clean clothes well, you need a copy of Stupidity For Dummies. Mr. Wray does a great job of conveying what women SAY they want and how to be the friend a woman turns to when she's having trouble with the guy who turns her on.

The author says he consulted a lot of women, and it shows. The entire thrust (sorry, ladies) of this book is, you must do everything possible to make yourself worthy of a woman's hand. As you might expect, the "S" word comes up only at the very end after 200+ pages of relentless self-improvement. The list is long and the tone of the book is anything but "lighthearted and entertaining".

While the book is padded with diet, excersise, mortality statistics and so on, its quite ambiguous about stuff that has to do with dating. For a guy who goes into such detail as remember not to fart, you'd think there would be better advice than stuff about pretending to be confident when you're not (why not pretend to be rich while you're at it).

At the very end he says "When the results are less than you expect, you find yourself feeling worse than when you used to just lay around watching TV". Exactly--and that's life. But why pay for a book to tell you this?

"A Man's Field Guide to Dating" is full of mixed messages that could frustrate an average guy who is looking for clear-cut answers and advice. For instance, Mr. Wray starts out by saying that the book will give non-judgemental advice. Soon after that statement, he writes something to the effect that "married men should pass this book on to their single friends" and should not cheat. Good advice? Maybe, but that's definitely a judgemental attitude, considering that Mr. Wray can't possibly know the circumstances in every marriage. Later, this supposedly non-judgemental attitude comes into play when Mr. Wray makes statements that seem to condemn men who are dating primarily to fulfill sexual needs. If that isn't making a judgement, I don't know what is? Who is he to decide for his readers which is more important: sexual needs or emotional needs? Imagine for a second a woman writing a book on dating that mildly chastizes women who are dating to fulfill their emotional needs and states that instead the focus should be on sex. Improbable? I think so, but this is that kind of book, only for men. Robert Wray should stick to pragmatic advice and leave judgements about the reader's motivation out of the book, or he should entitle his book, "Dating to Meet Emotional Needs -- For Men" or "Dating for Men Who Think Commitment is the Ultimate Goal in Life." Even if those aren't reflective of the explicit advice given in the book, it is definitely reflective of the feeling the reader will have upon finishing it.

Then again, Mr. Wray's practical advice is found wanting in some sections. He actually advises that guys approach women in a way that would result in projecting an image of a perfect "nice guy." Ask a thousand guys who have been called a "nice guy" by a woman, and I would bet that 90% would tell you that being a "nice guy" and a "perfect gentleman" is the quickest way to be frozen permanently outside of a woman's bedroom. That's not to say that guys should act like jerks and be total boorish louts with no manners, but to come across as a sexless, passionless Ken Doll is a libido-killer for most women I've encountered (even most of the "quality women" that Mr. Wray refers to throughout the book). In many places, Mr. Wray advises men to avoid any sexual comments or discussion with a woman early in initial converstaions. While one shouldn't necessarily saunter up to a woman and utter lascivious comments, it's important to make sure the message is clear that you, the man, are a sexual being, unless of course you are comfortable being told "let's just be friends" the rest of your life.

This book is not without good advice, despite these flaws. There are many sections that, once one filters out the opinions of the author, are full of solid, pragmatic tips that many of my fellow men could benefit from.

In closing, if you aren't put off by Mr. Wray's obvious editorializing, you will find worthwhile nuggets here and there. If you buy this book, make sure you have several other books on dating and relationships to read, since reading this one alone and following all its advice is a sure way to frustrate a guy who may not hold the same values as Mr. Wray. This book does belong in a syntopic analysis of the subject, but it certainly isn't an authority on successful dating.

I purchased this book with high hopes. I figured anything I could get out of it would be well worth it.

For starters, this book provides very little new information for dating techniques/strategies. It is all common sense; that is any of it that's even of any use. He goes into so much detail about your personal appearance and hygiene, it practically undermines the whole purpose of the book. Mr. Wray also seems to put a lot of stock in being a 'friend' of a woman, that this will somehow improve your chances of starting a relationship with them. Anybody who thinks that having a 'friend thing' going with a woman and that it will somehow transform into a relationship is sadly mistaken. Sorry Mr. Wray, I'd rather try my luck at the bar anyday. (Something he repeatedly discourages.)

While I haven't read many dating books, I can't say I recommend this one.

I was surprised at the number of reviews posted here by men. I was also surprised at how wrong they were. If men want to know what it takes to be successful dating quality women - it's all here. I gave copies of this book to my brother and two of his friends as well as the guy I'm currently seeing. We have had many long discussions about the topics in this book. While we don't always agree, I think he understands what I need for our relationship to continue to grow.

If you are looking for easy sex, you already know where to go. No book is going to help you there. If you want to date someone worthwhile, I strongly recommend that you read this book and/or others like it. It's your choice. I know that I'm very happy now as things have really improved with my guy.

By the way, I've also had many discussions with my girlfriends about the book. Again, not everyone agrees about everything, but we all agree that for the most part this book is right on the money.

Before I read this book, I had no clue what women wanted! It contains answers to so many questions that I've had.

I now feel confident enough to talk to any woman I choose.

Guys, pick up this book. You won't be disappointed!

Thank fully this book is for men who are interested in dating outside the 'meat market' scenario. It's about relating to people and knowing yourself well enough to present a positive image while you're trying to get to know others. Robert Wray presents practical, non threatening advice for men that will not send mixed messages to women. If men behave in this manner the women they encounter will be sure that their intentions are noble. I think it's important to make a woman feel like you respect her enough to behave like a gentleman instead of treating her like a sexual object and hoping for the best.

Mr. Wray isn't judgemental for the most part. His introduction is a disclaimer. Lots of books have them. He's saying, "I wrote the book with these type of people in mind." Other's can read the book and benefit as well, however; the book is geared for those with the intent of dating and creating a healthy relationship. He is very clear and upfront about this, and his candid nature made me trust him to steer me straight as a reader.

I would recommend this book to any one who just feels like they aren't handling the awkward parts of intial dating. I think too, he gives insights for all the parts of the relationships. Following a lot of the practical advice has been a confidence builder for me, and opened my eyes to a lot of small things that I wasn't previously aware of.

This book is different from many books on the subject. Like the book Doggiestyle that followed it, Robert Wray's A Man's Field Guide to Dating's observations and insights stand out because of their sincerity. The author's quest to both find answers to successful dating, and to then pass them on to the rest of us, comes across as very heartfelt. It is that organic nature of the writing that establishes such a lasting connection with the reader. No stupid rules, just straight talk. Very gutsy, indeed.

I've read this book many times and highlighted all thie things that I use every day. It works! It works for both men and women. I have had a great deal of success using Bob's technique's. He's knowledgeable, smart, and "in tune" with dating and mating.

This book really helped me clear my head. And gave me a whole new outlook to dating. I have totally change my perspective on dating. No more stessful times when it comes to trying to meet someone. I now enjoy going out to meet women. The cover was great, and format of the book was easy to go through. Nicely done!