Lisa Maria's Guide For The Perplexed (Red Dress Ink (Numbered Paperback)) [Paperback]

Susan Hubbard (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1, 2004 | Series: Red Dress Ink (Numbered Paperback) (Book 36)

For Lisa Maria, the decision to become a maid was simple: she was tired of nine-to-five office jobs and sick of falling for men she worked with. Performing manual labor for women seemed comparatively interesting and emotionally safe. Besides, wasn't there a certain intrinsic value in cleaning up other people's messes? Lisa Maria saw herself strolling into the lives of grateful strangers and making them over -- making them beautiful and efficient -- while turning a tidy profit for herself.

Lisa Maria Marino's been chewed up and spit out by the world once again. This time, though, she has retreated to her childhood bedroom in upstate New York to try to regroup. After all, nothing ever happens in New Sparta, NY, what better place to absorb one's losses?

After doing nothing gets old, Lisa Maria finds work as a "household assistant" (aka maid) -- although the line between who's bossing whom is hilariously blurred. And even though her own life is a disaster, she takes over as the advice columnist for a local paper, telling people what to do, with her trademark deadpan flair.

With a winning cast of characters -- the slovenly novelist who dresses up as his creations, the "good sister" gone ridiculously bad, the local mall with a sinking personality all its own -- Lisa Maria's Guide for the Perplexed is a sharp, funny, enlightening tale of one woman's quest to figure out her future by diving headfirst into her past.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A dust rag and Comet cleanser are 29-year-old Lisa Maria Marino's ticket to gainful employment and love in this strained chick-lit offering. When an office romance turns sour, Lisa Maria leaves her advertising job in New York and escapes to the dubious shelter of New Sparta, her upstate hometown. She hangs around with her meddlesome parents and her ultra-domestic sister, ultimately deciding to embark on a career as a personal household assistant (a.k.a. maid), figuring that she might fare better working only for women. Her one exception, the befuddled writer McAllister, turns out to be irresistible, but before their relationship can take more than a few wobbling steps, Lisa Maria discovers another woman in McAllister's apartment, and gives him the cold shoulder, not bothering to listen to his explanations or excuses. While he wilts without her attention, Lisa Maria cultivates a second career as an advice columnist for the local paper and scours an antiquated self-help guide, Live Alone and Like It. Even as Lisa Maria delves deeper into the personal lives of her fellow New Spartans, her dry and slightly vindictive sense of humor may deflect readers. Hubbard piles on catastrophic plot developments at the over-the-top ending, but even explosions and adultery provide scant fuel for the novel's sarcasm.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"A charming, entertaining tale about a fledgling advice columnist who teaches others that 'life isn't fair' . . ." -- Rita Ciresi, author of Pink Slip and Remind Me Again Why I Married You

"Readers will delight in Lisa Maria's Guide for the Perplexed, a charming, entertaining tale ..." -- Rita Ciresi, author of Pink Slip and Remind Me Again Why I Married You

"Spiced w/dry wit and a dash of cynicism, [this] is a delightful story about finding yourself by losing your way." -- Karen Brichoux, author of Coffee & Kung Fu

"Spiced with dry wit and a dash of cynicism . . .a delightful story about finding yourself by losing your way." -- Karen Brichoux, author of Coffee & Kung Fu

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Red Dress Ink (June 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0373250614
• ISBN-13: 978-0373250615
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,977,380 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Susan Hubbard is the author of seven books, including the Ethical Vampire Series published by Simon & Schuster: THE SEASON OF RISKS (2010), THE YEAR OF DISAPPEARANCES (2008), and THE SOCIETY OF S (2007). Hubbard's short story collection, BLUE MONEY, won the Janet Heidinger Kakfa Prize for best book of prose by an American woman published in 1999. Her first book, WALKING ON ICE, received the AWP Short Fiction Prize. With Robley Wilson, Hubbard coedited 100% PURE FLORIDA FICTION, an anthology of the best stories set in Florida. Her fiction has appeared in several literary journals and has been translated and published in more than fifteen countries.

Hubbard is a professor of English at the University of Central Florida, where she received the College of Arts & Humanities' Distinguished Researcher Award in 2008. She has won teaching awards from Syracuse University, Cornell University, the University of Central Florida, and the South Atlantic Administrators of Departments of English. She has received writers' residencies at Yaddo, the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, the Djerassi Resident Artists' Project, and Cill Rialaig. In 2002-03 she served as President of Associated Writers and Writing Programs (AWP). For more information, please visit www.susanhubbard.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Reviews:

*NPR called the Ethical Vampire Series"elusive, complex, poetic, and sophisticated."

*The Ft. Myers News-Press
 called THE SOCIETY OF S "...the year's most intriguing fiction debut to date," and in reviewing THE YEAR OF DISAPPEARANCES, noted, "Anyone still lingering under the misconception that academics can't compete in the majors would be well advised to pick up either of Hubbard's novels, which combine the creepiness of Stephen King with the acute social commentary of the Beats, Philip K. Dick and Don De Lillo." May 25, 2008

*The Sacramento Bee summarized THE SOCIETY OF S this way:
"...this beautifully written literary novel works as a touching coming-of-age story about a child in search of her missing mother." June 24, 2007

* New River Voice noted: "Amid the proliferation of new fiction this year, two brightly macabre novels stand out as fine summer reads: Stephen King's DUMA KEY and Susan Hubbard's THE YEAR OF DISAPPEARANCES." -July 14, 2008

* "Hubbard tells a good story and provides some acerbic political satire." --The Rocky Mountain News, July 24, 2008

"With a delicate touch, the talented Hubbard manages to merge environmental concerns with a murder mystery, a coming of age tale with a literary vampire twist." The St. Petersburg Times, May 14, 2008

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars the smartest kind of chick lit., July 9, 2004

By 

Felicia Sullivan (New York, ny United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Lisa Maria's Guide For The Perplexed (Red Dress Ink (Numbered Paperback)) (Paperback)

Reviewed by Bonnie MacAllister of Small Spiral Notebook

Red Dress Ink has offered a surprisingly witty and literary work in Hubbard's take on the life of a struggling writer forced to move back home and to take on clients as a professional housecleaner. Protagonist Lisa Marie supplements her household toil by writing an anonymous advice column for the New Sparta Other. Both manual tasks reveal a paper trail which leads to discovering unsigned semi-pornographic letters, political corruption, gender-bending expeditions to Florida, and cross-dressing novelists who enact English royalty.

The novel is sprinkled with literary references to the classics and books of etiquette: she samples from Samuel Beckett and Marjoris Hillis' 1930s feminist treatises, citing "The woman always pays in a thousand little shabbinesses." Hubbard's prose has a resilient quality, lucidly depicting a vivid heroine who is a bit Nancy Drew and a bit Margery Kempe.

Not unlike the other fare from Red Dress Ink, Lisa Marie's Guide for the Perplexed contains elements the romance of the chick lit pervading our booksellers; however, in her attention to detail, Hubbard weaves a modern love story pickled in sarcasm, marinated in disillusion, and expelled from a vacuum of dissolution.

Her story culminates in an Atlantis-like scene, a denouement of destruction in Anytown, Middle America: "The carousel that was one of the mall's icons that had been bisected by two metal poles which formerly supported a banner Shop Till You Drop. Two carousel ponies had been thrown through the window of the nearby By Gum It's Monday restaurant, and the air was thick with the odor of burned French fries and frankfurters." Hubbard's work fuses the mundane of daily life with the sinister secrets which lurk beneath the bound guise of business attire.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars fun freeloading fraudulent friendly female, May 26, 2004

By 

Harriet Klausner - See all my reviews
(#1 Hall OF FAME REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Lisa Maria's Guide For The Perplexed (Red Dress Ink (Numbered Paperback)) (Paperback)

Nearing thirty, Lisa Marie Marino lost her advertising job in New York City so she came home to find work in New Sparta, New York. Besides writing an advice column, Lisa finds work as a household assistant. She cleans as little as possible and bosses her clients around until she meets Bob.

Client writer Bob McAllister finds Lisa intelligent, pretty, and domineering. Still he enjoys her help when he needs a special word or phrase. Lisa finds herself attracted to Bob and actually uses elbow grease to keep his home spotless. Though her mom tosses her high school boyfriend at her, Bob and Lisa fall in love, but he panics and begins seeing Charlene "the Cosmopolitan" centerfold. Lisa stops cleaning for him, sending her sister instead, but Bob knows he made a mistake as he misses his Lisa and will do anything to get her to be his beloved forever cleaning lady.

This is a fun contemporary romance totally carried off by the charming con artist slacker. The rest of the cast is there to add depth to Lisa Marie and thus are not fully developed except in relation to the key protagonist. Still Lisa Marie carries the show as she is fun to follow whether she uses a deodorized spray to make the room seem like it is clean when mostly she watches TV, raids the refrigerator or when she assists Bob with his work. Fans will delight in the antics of this freeloading fraudulent friendly female.

Harriet Klausner

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Where was the funny?, May 23, 2006

By 

Book Junkie (Bay Area) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Lisa Maria's Guide For The Perplexed (Red Dress Ink (Numbered Paperback)) (Paperback)

When the Publisher's Weekly review promised dry vindictive humor, I jumped for joy, because I love that kind of humor. I don't think humor should be all rainbows and Skittles, so I thought this book would tickle my sick and twisted funny bone. On top of that, Karen Brichoux of Coffee and Kung Fu fame blurbed it. So I was going to be in for a feast, right?

Far from it. Aside from the advice column tidbits (loved those) and Lisa Maria giving the cats to her exes, I didn't find myself even giggling.

The author did a lot of telling instead of showing, and I couldn't get myself to care about her romance with McAllister. If he wasn't wooden, he was just plain pathetic. Except for her best friend and Kathy the Romanian esthetician (hey, I like over-the-top characters; it's the John Waters influence, okay?)the other characters were just plain boring, cardboard cutouts, to use a cliche.

Also, the author needs to learn that tightly written prose doesn't mean summarize everything. Her use of POV bothered me too. She'd start off a scene as if we were in another character's head, and then a line or two later we'd be in Lisa Maria's head. Since the book was in Lisa Maria's POV the whole time, it was jarring when toward the end, she decided to go into everyone else's POV. There's something to be said about consistancy.