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Typical self-help pop psychobabble
on May 18, 2010
My wife picked up this book and asked that I read it, which I did. I'm not going to mince words here: This book is terrible. It's like reading a late night infomercial, if you can imagine such a thing. An inordinate amount of the book's space is taken up by hard-sell advertisements for the author's other services (which direct you to his website), and he references his own "trademarked" services on almost every page of the book. He restates the same three or four concepts throughout the book, and the only imaginitive thing in the book is the different ways in which he repeats these cocepts for 180 some-odd pages. I guess nobody will buy a book that's only 8 pages, so he padded it to 180. Just a few of his nuggets of "wisdom:"
"Love conquers all" - Really? All you need is love? There's nothing else to it? Then why do you charge money for this book? Why do you charge over $400 for the CDs that can accompany this book? Life, and love, is not that simple.
"People don't change" - Again, really? Everyone changes throughout their lifetimes. Has this guy ever even cracked open a psychology textbook? People are dynamic, they get new interests, drop old ones. People learn things, develop new beliefs. How can Mr. Fertel advise us on relationships if he doesn't even understand the basics of the human psyche?
"Relationships after a divorce don't work" - Seriously? I have a whole slew of friends and relatives who, along with their new spouses, will happily testify to the contrary.
"Don't find the right person to love...love the person you find" - Yeah, don't bother investing the time to find someone you connect with, or can be happy with. Just settle for what you have. Then have a miserable marriage. Then buy more of Mr. Fertel's books. While he and his wife laugh all the way to the bank.
Unlike Mr. Fertel, I actually have a degree in psychology. Please, don't buy into this shiny-happy pop psychology garbage. Life is not so black and white, and marital issues are not solved with 180 pages of trite, redundant psychobabble. Go find a therapist. Find a support group. Talk to your friends. Lean on your family. Invest your time and money into something that isn't built simply to syphon your time and money, like this book. If this book helped you, then great. There probably wasn't much that needed fixing. But for any couple with serious issues, don't waste your time on this or any other book. If your marriage can be saved by a book, it's not in as much trouble as you think it is.