A Marriage Made in Heaven: How to Find and Keep a Spiritually Satisfying Relationship [Paperback]

Ehud Sperling (Author), Ehud C. Sperling (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2004

Defying her culture and tradition, a successful, highly educated Tamil Brahmin woman writes a letter to a prominent American book publisher who—disillusioned with love in the Western world—advertises in an Indian newspaper for an arranged marriage. Her letter launches this book’s remarkable correspondence. What follows is an epistolary evaluation of compatibility, gender roles, love, and the way to find and keep a spiritually satisfying relationship. In this intimate exchange of more than 60 letters, they raise as many questions as they answer and reveal the secrets of sustaining a love that encompasses the mind, body, heart, and spirit. Deliciously funny and profoundly moving, this improbable love story may just change how you view relationships.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

What could a 35-year-old single Indian woman from a Hindu Brahmin family have in common with a 40-year-old divorced American Jewish man? A good deal, judging from this collection of very romantic and idealistic courtship letters written between two such individuals before their elaborate Indian wedding ceremony in 1996. Yearning for a domestic environment in which he would clearly be the head of a family, Ehud, owner and publisher of the Inner Traditions book company in rural Vermont, placed an ad for a wife in an Indian newspaper. One of the responses to his inquiry was from Vatsala, a clinical microbiologist who desired to trade in her independence for what she believed would be a more fulfilling life as a married woman. The letters the two exchanged show that they viewed male and female roles in marriage as distinct and complementary, with the male taking the leadership role in decision making and responsibility for earning the couple's living and the female deferring to her husband's wishes, finding contentment as a full-time housekeeper. Ehud, who was familiar with and had an obvious affinity for Indian culture, did not expect his future wife to give up her religion and, in fact, pointed out many similarities between Hinduism and Judaism. Those who long for the traditional family of yesteryear will enjoy the Sperlings' multicultural love story; feminists (of both sexes) willl want to steer steer clear. (Feb.)

Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Vatsala Sperling, born in India, worked as chief of clinical microbiology at the Children’s Trust Hospital in Madras until her marriage. Ehud Sperling is founder and president of Inner Traditions International, one of the largest and oldest companies worldwide publishing books on spirituality, religion, and alternative health. Vatsala and Ehud live in rural Vermont with their young son, Mahar. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Ten Speed Press (March 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1580083811
• ISBN-13: 978-1580083812
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,532,690 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Guide for Women wanting to Wed, April 23, 2000

By 

Lynn (Woodstock, NY.) - See all my reviews

This review is from: A Marriage Made in Heaven : A Love Story in Letters (Hardcover)

I think this book not only defies cross cultural barriers it challenges the "modern woman" to reexamine her values and priorities when it comes to getting married. The book gives a beautiful portrayal of a relationship that develops based on a connection of values, spirtuality, and intellect that takes the reader through a process on to itself of reevaluating one needs in a relationship.

I would recommend this to anyone who is thinking about getting married (in a relationship or not), or who is married. It is also beautifully written, with lovely photos and paintings that take you to the heart of India.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Review of Marriage Made In Heaven, January 26, 2009

By 

East Reaches West "A.R. Houston" (Rochester, VT) - See all my reviews

This review is from: A Marriage Made in Heaven: How to Find and Keep a Spiritually Satisfying Relationship (Paperback)

In a culture that has forgotten how to educate us about the fundamental elements of success and happiness is marriage and family life A Marriage Made in Heaven is a profound presentation of what is missing from generations of advice and teaching in western cuture.

How do you find the right marriage partner? What makes a marriage happy and what makes a marriage last? These questions are asked and answered constantly in ninety percent of our popular music, by rows and rows of books that publish tips for singles and strategies for marital sucess. Still, the divorce rate in our country climbs higher and higher.

I walked into the local bakery in the small town where I lived on a freezing January afternoon, hoping to warm up with some hot chocolate and finish my to do list for leaving to work in a clinic in India a week later. By chance, I picked up a copy of A Marriage Made in Heaven. I had just turned forty two and had never been married. I was always curious about how people found a life partner and actually managed to make a marriage last. For several years I knew that I could only have a strong connection with someone who shared a deep commitment to spiritual growth and family values that would preside in our relationship and home. Many people had told me that this was impossible to find and that I would have to just settle. One yoga teacher I had, however, encouraged me never to settle. "Be strong in your sadhana" he said "and your devotion to God will bring the right person to you. You will not be able to live with someone who does not have this same level of devotion. " I followed his advice and for several years I focused on my spiritual practice and my healing arts practice almost to the point where I wondered if I was going in the total opposite direction of marriage towards celibacy! But I still had the hope that somehow the right person would materialize. How, I had absolutely no idea, it seemed like I had already been to every place where this type of person might be and I had met absolutely no one suitable.

I was so happy to read a dialogue between two souls, two families and two cultures that started from discussing values, sharing emotions, and processsing a comprehensive world view besides. It confirmed what I had always felt "....the relationship between a man and a woman embodies the whole mystery of creation and the meaning of life. Marriage takes place not only in this world of comings and goings but on a deeper more mysterious plane. A healthy, loving, positive relationship between husband and wife is one of the most important goals we can aspire to".(p.41) I agreed with Ehud, that sadly, most marriages, in this country did not reach that depth. His own example of a marriage ending with a phone call struck me at my core. I found great courage in this example that Ehud was able to pick up the pieces and carry on to find so many blessings. He tells Vatsala that, "Ultimately the marriage should reflect the spiritual ideals of that greater marriage between the masculine and the feminine. The man must worship the goddess in his wife and conversely the wife should see her husband as her god. We are just reflections of the beloved, striving in our imperfect way for union and liberation. Marriage should be the foundation that helps us ahieve those goals" (p.75)

Describing how you have been able to find and live your truth in a book can have a miraculous way of opening the door for another person to do the same. When I left the bakery five hours later, I was not quite the same person, who walked in. I knew that if two people, devoted to their convictions, under extraordinary circumstances, could find eachother across two continents, that the same was possible for me.

Only months later, I did find that match that I was seeking, a wonderful, loving, vedic astrologer from India. I doubt I would have had the courage, or education to pursue the match and become involved with his family, had I not read the Sperling's book. To this day, we marvel at how one book, had such a fundamental impact on our destiny.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book That Really Dazzles the Soul, April 8, 2000

By 

G. M. Chishti "hakim" (San Diego, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: A Marriage Made in Heaven : A Love Story in Letters (Hardcover)

Every so often a book comes along that really is different, actually makes movement transpire in the mind and heart, and does what books are supposed to do to us. Marriage Made in Heaven is such a book. Composed primarily of actual letters exchanged by the American publisher with his Indian bride-to-be, there is an emotional rythmn that flows through this whole book which can only be called spectacular.

I had intended to read a few pages, but actually read the whole book cover to cover in one sitting. My wife picked up the book an hour later, and did the same thing.

As one who has lived both in India and the United States, I was very eager to see if the horrible cliches that pass for representations of Indian culture would be overcome. Indeed they were. Marriage Made in Heaven is utterly saturated with vibrancy, wit, humor and genuine love. That these two people would allow anyone, let alone the entire reading public of several nations, into their most intimate states of mind, their deepest emotional sharing, is an act of considerable courage. Moreover, the excruciating sharing of hopes, goals, values and dreams that these two engage in over the course of more than a year, explodes the myth and lie about "traditional marriages." Nobody can accuse either party here of being "manipulated" or forced into this marriage. Yet, their sharing of their lives gives the ancient marriage paradigm very strong proof of its idealized purpose.

There isn't an American female who isn't going to connect with this book in a very big way. If you're looking for love, a true love story, this is the real thing. For men, it is a glimpse into the innermost feelings of a woman who is both warmly traditional (the way men really want a woman to be) but enlightened in her world view.

From Vatsala's first reply to the classified ad, to her wrenching feelings as she is driven up the desolate, winding road to her new home in Vermont, away from hger family for the first time in her life, it really is almost impossible to stop reading this book. Simply put, Marriage Made in Heaven is the love story of the decade. They show us what it means to be Man and Woman, to be true human beings.