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44 of 44 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
MARRIAGE & other acts of CRUELTY, November 7, 2009
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My husband took a look at the cover of this book and laughed, as he thought the title said "cruelty" rather than "charity". When I corrected him I realized that, in fact, it is a bit of both.
Kate Braestrup had some excellent points to make in this memoir, lessons she has learned from experiencing and observing the male/female relationship. One that stuck with me was that "100% of relationships end". We are lucky if they end after a long, happy life together, but the fact is some relationships are cut short. Whether it be through untimely death, divorce or things beyond our control we should learn to appreciate every moment. We should focus on the happiness, not the frustrations of a relationship if we want it to thrive.
Unfortunately for Kate, she learned some of her lessons the hard way. Fortunately for us, she shares her learned wisdom and sprinkles it with some faith filled touches.
I would not consider this a "religious" book, though she is a minister and faith is obviously important to her story. What I can say is that this felt a bit like a series of parables with a very neutral point of view. There may be meaning to each of her chapters, but nothing that felt as if she was leading the reader to a biased conclusion.
The only complaint I have about the book is that it can come off as a bit intellectual because of the language. For example, most of us do not use the following words in everyday conversation(at least not in my New England town): imprimatur, salvific, palimpsest,inchoate,construal, cosseted and extracanonical to name only a few. I would have preferred that this be written in a lighter tone. It's very down-to-earth in theme, so the "big words" felt out of place.
That said, this was an interesting read and provided some thoughtful insight which I enjoyed and I think you will,too.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Another winner for Kate!, December 13, 2009
Customer review from the Amazon Vine™ Program (What's this?)
As a Mainer, I particularly enjoy Kate's writings. I know the places that she's talking of and I think that helps the book to be more "real" and applicable to my own life. I must say I really enjoyed this book. It didn't focus so much on her marriage (s) as it did the institution of marriage. Yes she uses some "big" words and faith to get her point across, but it isn't over done.
As many poignant moments are in this book, there are just as many funny ones. My personal favorite was her children's pronounciation of her second husband's name. (You'll know it when you get to it!) This is an excellent Sunday afternoon book, soft and quiet, deep and insightful.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Another Moving Memoir From a Beautiful Writer, November 1, 2009
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*****
I read Kate Braestrup's award-winning first memoir "Here If You Need Me" as background before I read this--her latest book--and I'm so glad I did, because she is someone I wanted to know more about. It was helpful, but certainly not necessary, as this memoir stands alone. Together, the two are a wonderful read.
Marriage and Other Acts of Charity is about the author's experiences with not only marriage, but life, love, God, parenting, organized religion, motherhood, grief, spirituality, and creating meaning when it seems impossible. I found this a beautiful book, another stunning memoir filled with poignant stories and hard lessons learned. The author has keen insights and a fresh way of looking at the world. She also has a great sense of humor.
Although the author is a minister, this is not really a religious book. No matter what you believe, you will be comfortable with this book. Rev. Braestrup works in the Unitarian Universalist church, a denomination that is known for being tolerant and inclusive; reading her memoir made me really like Unitarians. It made me feel like there is maybe even a place for me in a church that is devoid of mean theology. This is a peaceful and loving book for people of all faiths or no faiths.
It is about love and where and how you find it. And about the challenges that looking for it everywhere poses. You'll find the stories unforgettable.
Highly recommended.
*****
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