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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An "AHA!" Moment!!!,
By A Customer
This review is from: Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives (Hardcover)
This book provided what eluded me for decades - what turns capable vibrant independent women into Barbies, into Stepford Wives. I stumbled across it in my mid-thirties, great job, great income, feeling strong about myself and my abilities in the wake of a difficult divorce - I had remarried - to someone diametrically opposed in every way to the first hubby - and WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I'm cooking dinner every night, watering all his houseplants, clucking about dustballs and forgoing bike rides and gym visits and nights out with pals to stay in and WHAT? sew curtains???It wasn't due to husband demands, nor did I have Donna Reed as a mom, - I needed an explanation as to why I was so hellbent on being The Wife - and this book provided an answer. Ms. Heyn's use of interviews and anecdote show how cultural influences permeat our lives, their power rivalling the more direct influences of family and spouse. The accompanying historical evidences were factual and interesting to read. I am amazed that this book has not gained more of a following, as its simple message can be a boon to those newly married, wondering Is this all there is? or What was I thinking? Ms. Heyn has seen the enemy, and shows it to us in a way that allows us to beat it.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A revolutionary way to save marriage.,
By A Customer
This review is from: Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives (Hardcover)
This important, quietly subversive book suggests that the only way we can save marriage is by radically overhauling it -- so it has room for real, live, whole women. If you've ever wondered why you (or your wife) felt flat, gray and depressed in the first, supposedly blissful year of marriage, or why over 60 percent of American marriages end in divorce, two-thirds of them instigated by women, you've got to read this book -- it's an eye-opener. Yet it is not even remotely anti-male, or even anti-marriage. Rather, it unmasks a couple of fictional cultural characters -- the preachy Witness and the impossibly Good Wife -- who possess us like dybbuks at the altar. This book is a veritable exorcism that can give you back the self you lost and the lover you married
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A compelling, well-written new theory on women and marraige.,
By A Customer
This review is from: Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives (Hardcover)
I recently had the opportunity to read "Marriage Shock" & was absolutely riveted by this insightful treatise on what happens to women's identities after marriage. The book made me aware of a psychological phenomena peculiar to married women in which I have unwittingly participated for the last 14 years. What an eye-opener! Ms. Heyn's theory that married women subconsciouly & automatically, "edit" their behavior from their prior, single lives in order to conform to the role of "the good wife" is demonstrated by the fascinating, often quirky examples provided by the women who were the subjects of her interviews. The author's personal and refreshingly expressive style is just great. The reader can almost hear Ms. Heyn's voice as she reasons her way through some of the most engaging subject matter recently presented in print. This is a serious book, not a piece of Self-Help How-To fluff. Ms. Heyn is no Martha Stewart, and some of what you read may take you aback, but I think that you will be unable to put this book down. Any thinking woman who doesn't see a little of herself and every married woman she knows in "Marriage Shock" is not looking hard enough
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