Married to Distraction: How to Restore Intimacy and Strengthen Your Partnership in an Age of Interruption [Paperback]

Edward M. Hallowell M.D. (Author), Sue Hallowell (Author), Melissa Orlov (Author)

Book Description

Release date: February 8, 2011

Are you more distant from your spouse than you’d like to be? Do you or your spouse waste time mindlessly viewing email or surfing the Web? Welcome to the club! Modern marriage is busy, distracted, and overloaded to extremes, with ever-increasing lists of things to do, superficial electronic connections, and interrupted moments. The good news is that there are straightforward and effective ways to restore communication and connection, resurrect happiness and romance, and strengthen—even save—a marriage.
 
• Observe the natural sequence of sustaining love: attention, time, connection, and play.
• Develop and nurture empathy—the essential building block to healthy communication.
• Carve out small moments of uninterrupted attention for each other.
• Identify the pressures that our crazybusy lifestyles put on love and marriage, and fight back with tenderness and appreciation.

Complete with scripts, tips, communication techniques, and a detailed 30-day reconnection plan, as well as inspiring real-life stories, Married to Distraction will set couples on a course of understanding, healing, and love.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“I urge all people who yearn for more in their marriages to read this book—in particular, those hungry to move beyond conflict and condemnation to connection and understanding.”—Judith Warner, author of Perfect Madness

“Wise and compassionate . . . This is a unique, engaging, and profoundly helpful book. It can save a marriage or simply help people in happy marriages get closer and feel more fulfilled.”—Suzy Welch, author of 10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea

“This timely book could save your marriage.” —Maggie Jackson, author of Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age
 
“Clear-sighted wisdom . . . Those in search of practical, concrete advice for creating and saving marriages will find what they need.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

About the Author

Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., was an instructor at Harvard Medical School for twenty years and is now the director of the Hallowell Centers for Cognitive and Emotional Health in Sudbury, Massachusetts, and New York City. He is the co-author of Delivered from Distraction and Driven to Distraction as well as the author of CrazyBusy, The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, and Worry, among other titles.

Sue George Hallowell, LICSW, has been a practicing couples’ therapist for more than twenty-five years. The Hallowells are the parents of three teenage children. They live in Arlington, Massachusetts.


From the Hardcover edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; Reprint edition (February 8, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345508009
• ISBN-13: 978-0345508003
• Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,707 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for Relationships with an ADD Partner & Anyone Distracted from Intimacy January 24, 2012

By Bill Gallagher

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

It's cliche to point out that we are now so 24/7/365 wired and connected that its hard not to be distracted and overwhelmed by our gagdets. While few dispute that fact, not too many people are doing much about it. Or if anything, they are just lamenting our situation and longing for simpler and slower times. Well, Dr. Edward Hallowell, a psychitriarist who has ADD himself and specializes in treating patients with ADD, has written a guide giving lots of suggestions for how to handle the overload. Since Dr. Halowell is well known for his book Driven to Distraction, I bet most readers buying this book will have or be married to someone with ADD, but this guide is written for anyone struggling with distractions that are interfering with our spouse (though there is a chapter fully devoted to issues around a partner having ADD).

The book is full of stories and suggestions that can help get your focus on your partner and includes insights that are subtler than most of us would notice on our own. For example, he points out (p. 107+) how most of us are so scattered, we love it when we do even up getting riveted by something. This makes a "scattered-brain" more prone to addictions like gambling or pornography, which grab your attention by the shirt collar.

Some of the what-you-can-do suggestions, such as "just turn it off" (your smart phone, that is), will be obvious, but the act of reading the book and investing in Dr. Halowell's knowledge can help give you resolve to take such steps. Overall, the book's greatest strength is it's focus on communication.

Other books to consider: If ADHD is causing problems in your relationship The ADHD Marriage Workbook A User-Friendly Guide to Improving Your Relationship (which has ADHD-friendly format) or for general improved marriage communications Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Is a relationship possible in a hectic lifestyle? September 25, 2011

By Jane Rosenthal VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Although I've had my share of relationship challenges, I got this book to use as part of my work. I am a student counselor who works with students on study skills, test taking, time management, etc. The students I work with are in an extremely busy medical school program and many struggle in their relationships while they in the school program. I was hoping that this would be a book that would provide some ideas for working with these students. I found this book very helpful in giving students ideas for approaching their relationships and maintain relationships while in this hectic program. The book does not take the place of therapy when problems arise, and in the course of working with students I still encourage students to seek personal counseling when problems arise. The book has been very helpful in giving suggestions to students for proactive measures they can do to help their relationships persist through the craziness of medical school.
On a personal level, I also found it helpful. I think the advice in the book will be very helpful for my future romantic relationships.

5.0 out of 5 stars ADHD -- a burden or a gift in a Relationship... March 30, 2013

By L. Ursitti

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book is primarily, in my view, written for those in a relationship with ADHD, often undiagnosed, offering a bevy of suggestions to aid them in working with and embracing the ADHD instead of existing in the constant frustration that can occur. Ed Hallowell is a self professed ADHDer and professional who diagnoses and treats this issue. He has the benefit of speaking from the perspective of both the individual who has to deal with it daily and the clinician whose livelihood emphatically coaches those who live in relationship with ADHD. My view has always been that ADHD can be a gift IF diagnosed and dealt with in ways that work well for all parties in the relationship. However, left untreated, the frustrations can ultimately create a devastating effect to any relationship. The options for help are all noted in this book, ...it, therefore, is simply up to the involved individuals to take ACTION! If you have ADHD, (or suspect you might) and are struggling in your relationships Or if you are in relationship with and ADHDer, please give yourself the gift of this read. It has much to offer!